I’m not overly sympathetic to hubby here. What time does the 18 month old go to bed? Can’t he play games once bubs is in bed asleep? I understand that he wants some down time but he’s not getting to spend much time with bubs all day, it would be nice if he put his phone down and waited until bubs went to bed before having ‘his time’.

I think they need to talk about it all and communicate better.

You have your game time, at least put your phone down while your in family time. Maybe your child is more mummy then daddy because mummy puts in more time and effort……without a phone

you both have your day full time jobs. after that its equal share of the parenting work. both parents need downtime, there’s nothing wrong with playing games occasionally (i do). it’s a good idea to talk about it and come to an agreement, decide on what days/times each person gets a break to do their own thing.

Communication is definitely key here and being open about what youre feeling

Ooh it’s a tricky one but you need to communicate with each other. Parenting is hard. I can understand where your wife is coming from as being a Mum is 24/7 vs a Dad who gets to go to work. But, I also understand a working Dad needs some downtime. Perhaps that can happen when the child is in bed. But you and your wife also need some time together. Communication is key.

You need to work out your priorities together

I understand that you need time to relax but so does your wife. You’ve been on the go all day but so has your wife. Your wife is pregnant so I’d say she just wants to have you with her. Why not play your game when she is watching a movie she likes and you don’t? What are you going to do when your new baby is born? Hope you both come to an agreeable solution soon.

I think you both need to sit down and work out an agreement.
You should be allowed some alone time to do as you wish but so should your wife. You get a couple of hours a day then so should she….no matter what.
I agree with her that when you are together and having family time you need to put the phone away…. put it on silent and leave it in the other room if you must.

Interesting to read all the answers

Parenting is 24/7 and if the parent who goes out and works for 8 hours a day comes home and gets a chance to decompress when does the stay at home parent get a chance to do this?
While the child may very well be looking at the stay at home parent for majority of their interactions it’s more about the effort the working parent puts in that shows they care. If you’re having family time and on your phone what is the child actually getting out of that? Far less than if you actually put technology away and spent quality time with the child.
Not saying that parents shouldn’t get a chance to decompress because they definitely should. Parents are still humans too but priorities. Children are only children for such a short amount of time. Blink and you’ll miss it.

I get the frustration, you rarely get to decompress from a day of being a parent, so its very tough to stay silent while your partner relaxes at the end of the work day. Being on the phone is also a hard habit to break, I am guilty myself of spending too much time on it, but it is my communication tool to the outside world and I would go loopy without it.
I think they need a discussion about what is going to work for both of them, i often say to hubby come home, get changed out of work stuff and get ready to be DAD cos Wiley wants to spend time with him and he can have quality time doing dinner/bath time/bed time, then he can have video games, tv time and other activities to wind down from the whole day.

It sounds like the problem isn’t really the time he spends playing video games – it’s the time he then spends on his phone while “with” his family. And I agree that that’s a problem. It means he’s not really with them.

I don’t think there’s anything wrong. He works 12 hours, comes home and does whatever his wife asks of him and that’s still not enough to warrant a bit of time to do something for himself?!
My hubby works 12 hours, gets home, eats, has a bit of time painting and then goes to sleep ready for the next shift. I don’t complain as I can’t imagine how exhausting 12 hours days would be and I’m not even a stay at home mum, i work 3 days and the other 2 are kids activities like dancing and swimming!

Ditto what the other are saying. Priorities man

My husband stopped playing video games, late if you ask me, we’ll into his late 20’s. There are so so many adult, husband, father things you can be doing instead of playing video games. Like I get that’s what you want to be doing, but find a constructive hobby. Grow up! IMO

I think a balance is required. It’s important to to have some me time (down time) for both parents but it is also important to be present with your kids too. It’s all about balance

I get where he’s coming from, as working a 12 hour day is exhausting, but is he also giving his wife time to decompress? There’s definitely resentment coming from her side and I get it – she’s running around after a toddler all day plus is half way through another pregnancy!

I can totally understand the need for some down time but that goes both ways… Does your wife get any time to herself? How long do you spend playing games? Is there a better time you could play? Ie after your daughter is asleep? I think communication is key here so that both yours and your wife’s needs are being met…

There’s nothing wrong with playing the video games as long as his supported his wife and completed his role as a partner and father. My husband plays his computer games after his helped me put the kids to sleep.