I received some comments during pregnancy about what could be elevating sugar levels and increasing weight and actually appreciated them because it helped me to address the issue and made it easier to feel baby at checks going forward. I had no idea that a particular food that I was consuming and should be seen as healthy was actually elevating my levels. As soon as it was addressed the issue improved. I prefer a direct delivery and approach from health professionals that is not ambiguous but I do understand that everyone is different. If uncertain about the delivery of advice or about comments it is a good idea to address it immediately and question the person delivering the message.

She may not have phrased it well, but it wasn’t fat shaming. She was making an observation about something that affects your medical care.

Pregnancy hormones always make comments like this harder and hurt more. I do feel the midwife could have been a bit more diplomatic with her words and phrased it differently. I can totally understand that this hurt your feelings but try not to let the woman get to you, this should be a joyful time.

I don’t think she was fat shaming at all. She was trying her best to say it in a diplomatic way. I think you should let it go and as hard as it is it is a fact. You know you have a high BMI and I think if she didn’t mention a possible problem it would be more of an issue.

I think it could have been worded better, it wasn’t blatent but I could see where it could be perceived as being shrouded in judgement. Tactful or factual would have been better or the old adage of not saying anthing at all would have worked best. It’s a particularly sensitive time anyway and adding this into the mix to a heavily pregnant woman who is already feeling vulnerable can affect them. Interesting that she wrote in the chart that her mood was good, the midwife clearly misjudged the effect her comments had on her

The midwife could have worded it differently but I think you are being too sensitive. To refer to it as ‘fat shaming’ is exaggerating. Some of the comments I’ve received from midwives and Child health nurses over the years, I could have taken the wrong way but I chose to let them wash off me and be confident in myself and what I was doing

I don’t think she was fat shaming you. She clearly wanted to say it in a way that wouldn’t offend you. Weight is just a sensative topic and you felt offended anyway. Sometimes it’s best to just let go, rather than feeding your feelings. Don’t forget that the pregnancy hormones make you more sensitive too

I think this is a serious overreaction. The midwife was clearly not trying to fat shame, she said it in a nice way, when there really isn’t any way to say the mum is overweight without offending. At least she didn’t say ‘you’re fat, stop eating cake’. I think people are way too over sensitive these days. If you are taking offence it’s probably because deep down you know it’s true and you’re embarrassed. Doesn’t mean you should get someone in trouble at work.

One of my pregnancy’s i had a midwife say that I had lost some weight. The Dr said “she can afford to as she is a fat mother”. I was not happy with him saying this and told my mother who was also a midwife at the clinic, she was not happy either. She questioned the Dr and he said he was sorry the next time. My mother was in charge so it might had helped. Anyone saying you are a big or fat mother is not very helpful when most times you are not feeling that good because you have this big belly sticking out. Maybe bring it up that you did not like being referred to like this.

Dont worry what anyone says. You and your baby are most important. Do what makes you happy. Some doctors/nurses really need to keep their mouth shut especially if its not a health concern.

Yep, you’re being overly sensitive. Concentrate on yourself and your baby.

Personally I think you should not have someone fat shaming you. You’re pregnant and for your baby’s sake the last thing you need is to be on a calorie restricted diet. The midwife shouldn’t upset you. The main thing is that your baby is developing well and you are well and happy. Take care and I wish you all the best.

I don’t think it’s fat shaming for a medical professional to acknowledge that you’re a larger woman. It impacts on your health care, and it impacts on your baby. It’s not like she gave you a lecture about it. I think you’re being too sensitive.

Honestly, I’m really sorry that you are feeling this way. Pregnan can be hard at the best of times. While her comments may not have been super professional it doesn’t sound like there was any malice behind it. I personally don’t think she meant to “fat shame” you but if youre speaking to her line manager tomorrow maybe they will remind her to be a little more professional in future.

The registrar doctor told me at my 20 week scan I shouldn’t put on any weight during the pregnancy due to my own weight. I had already put on 4kg and felt toys very helpful. What did she want me to do, diet?! Also recently my MCH nurse told me to take my 18 month old son to a nutritionist due to how much he weights… without asking what I feed him… he’s 95th percentile so’off the chat’ for weight… if you look at the if, he’s perfectly proportional… but she did suggest it would benefit me as well!!! I was highly not impressed with either comment.