Did You Instantly Fall in Love With Your Baby

Mum shares how she really felt following the birth of her baby. Can you relate?

“It’s always bothered me that I felt complete overwhelmed when I gave birth to my daughter and I probably only enjoyed having her months later.”

Did you instantly fall in love?

Mums have shared their own stories of struggling to bond with their baby.

One mum shared, “Same here – I always attributed it to a c-section with no.1 and a natural birth with the second, but who really knows!”

Another shared, “With my first 2, no. I had traumatic births, no control, was given pain relief when I didn’t want it that made me feel out of it and even less in control of my body. I felt very alienated and disconnected by the whole process, it took me months to feel confident and worthy to be a mum emotionally to both my eldest children.”

Another said, “Nope. I didn’t really feel that connection with him until maybe around 6 months. That said, I had lots of complications at birth and also PND.”

Sara said, “Definitely not. Was in way too much shock and it was too life altering. I don’t think I was like that really until about 1 year or so.”

Dana shared, “Nope. It took a long, long time. But due to complications discovered in utero I suspect I somewhat deliberately withheld from her in case something went wrong.”

Wendy said, “No. And I felt SO guilty about it for a long time, until I found out it was normal.”

Catherine agreed, ” Nope… it wasn’t until there little personalities starting coming out that I fell for then. I hated that everything I saw post birth led me to believe that the instant love was a thing. I felt horrible.”

Jennifer added, “Not everyone loves their baby immediately. No one should feel as though there’s something wrong with them if they don’t. Sometimes it can take weeks or months to feel that connection. There’s too much pressure on Mums & Dads to feel exactly the same as everyone around them.”

Share your comments below

26 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 12 May 2023
    12:24 pm
Thankfully I was madly in love with them even before they were born.

- - becstalou said
  - 04 Aug 2019
    5:35 am
I fell instantly in love but like any love it comes to everyone differently. Some people fall in love when they first see their partner other people take time and both can be beautiful love stories.

- - ella12 said
  - 26 Jul 2019
    4:50 pm
No I didn’t, it took a little while, I suffered PND but now I am head over heels in love and fiercely protective.

- - mumma said
  - 23 Jul 2019
    8:12 pm
My first it took 2 weeks (maybe due to the Traumatic birth and postpartum issues)
My second it took 2 months…. I think I had PPD.

- - MisChip said
  - 21 Jul 2019
    12:35 am
I didn’t. While I was pregnant, a colleague said to me that I will never fell a greater love than when I look at my baby for the first time. I think hearing this was horrible for me as I didn’t feel like that.

- - DaffyD said
  - 19 Jul 2019
    8:31 am
I most certainly did

- - Blossom said
  - 18 Jul 2019
    8:25 pm
I did, but I had my ups and downs probably partly caused by lack of sleep and some no so good advice given which didn’t work for me or my baby.

- - tessie said
  - 18 Jul 2019
    12:54 pm
I hate it when people think there is something wrong with you if you don’t fall in love with your child straight away. This doesn’t mean that you hate your child, it’s just very life changing and you have so many things to deal with at the moment of birth.

- - rovermum said
  - 18 Jul 2019
    11:48 am
No, I didn’t. I guess it took me 12 months to go this is okay and I love this. But, after a traumatic birth and post-complications, then PND, and a child who screamed 24/7 while Drs tried to figure out it was colic etc. it took me a long time to love my child in the way I believed I should.

- - mom101628 said
  - 17 Jul 2019
    10:34 pm
Mine were just so chubby and lovely that I fell in love instantly – after I got them home I felt a little less in love with all the crying and sleepless nights though.

- - rachelvk said
  - 17 Jul 2019
    9:34 pm
Yes, I loved both mine instantly (and every other baby I see for that matter… love babies).

- - mom205554 said
  - 17 Jul 2019
    8:45 pm
Nope, it took weeks with my first and months with my second. I was very protective of them but I can’t say I loved them for quite a while! I’m not much of a worrier about parenting stuff though, so I figured as long as I was feeding them, changing them and holding them it would be right. And I was a vaginal-birth, breast feeding, baby wearing mama too!

- - nealsq said
  - 17 Jul 2019
    8:10 pm
I instantly fall in love with every baby!

- - mom152736 said
  - 17 Jul 2019
    8:51 am
I did! so much love and innocence !

- - Ellen said
  - 17 Jul 2019
    8:24 am
Oh yes, it was as if I had wings and could fly. And yes like others are saying, it started in the womb.

- - mom265671 said
  - 16 Jul 2019
    10:25 pm
I think I fell in love with mine when she was still in my tummy
- mom93821 replied
  
  17 Jul 2019 , 7:26 am
  I agree – it is a relationship that started early!
- - mom90758 said
  - 16 Jul 2019
    6:53 pm
We spoke about it in another discussion, but yes. I absolutely fell in love with my daughter as soon as she was born. And my husband too. Actually I was in love already while pregnant, while my husband’s bond really started with birth. 🙂
- mom90758 replied
  
  17 Jul 2019 , 5:06 pm
  I meant “as soon as I discovered I was pregnant”. 🙂
- - mom264171 said
  - 16 Jul 2019
    6:37 pm
I felt so much love when my little one was born! I can also understand that childbirth is different for everyone though.

- - mom93821 said
  - 16 Jul 2019
    5:56 pm
Absolutely! Completely overflowing with joy and love.

- - mom129591 said
  - 16 Jul 2019
    3:51 pm
Childbirth, it certainly can be a different experience for each individual. It can depend on may factors going on at the time too.