Agree death is hard for adults to talk to kids about – but also agree it’s so crucial. It’s us adults that feel uncomfortable & also don’t want to hurt our kids more. But from a recent family death, I found being straight, simple & honest worked best. Kids tend to cope better than us, once they are told & explained that *** has died which means their body stopped working & u can’t see him or talk to him in person anymore but he’s always in ur heart & u can always talk to him and he hears it in heaven. We also released balloons so the younger kids I say u can talk to him and it goes up to the sky like balloons did.

My niece’s Uncle died when she was about 2 1/2 years old. (he was in his 20s and unexpected) My niece asked her Grandma why he had to die. Having never been in that situation before my Mum was struggling for an answer that the little one would understand. Part of it was that everybody and everything dies eventually – like the flowers that she had to trim off bushes in the garden. Missy lived being in the garden with Grandma. She left it for the parents to do the rest of the explanation.

I totally agree, I had never had anyone close to me die intolerant I was 16 and friends were 16 it was so traumatic. I grew up on s farm so I knew about death of animals but it was a shock looking at coffins and I could not feel it was real that my friends were in those coffins. Three funerals in one day was so awful and only other friends to share with, my parents water I think unaware of how this traumatised me. Because they did not know them or the families well it was as if it did not matter.

In my experience I have found adults are more emotional about death than children. but it is really good to talk about it openly as everyone dies and at some point in their life they will experience someone close to them passing away.

Great advice I’ve always thought it was scary to associate sleeping and dying for kids.

Never a pleasant subject to discuss and explaining to children is complicated. Our kids know about heaven and that when you go there you can’t see or speak to that person anymore, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still think about them and love them.

Good points, always be honest and upfront with the kids.

some really great points made and something i will remember should i ever need to discuss this with my daughter

My 4 year old often asks about death. It is a hard topic to discuss but we try our best.

When my father died, my children were 6, 5 and 1. We talked to them about what happened, honestly. The eldest go to catholic school so we talked about heaven and that their grandfather will not be around any more. They understood quite well. And also understood that I was grieving and sad at times and that was OK to feel like that. We still talk about him and after watching movies like Coco and the Book of Life, they have decided that they want to try remembering him in the same respects and celebrate ” The day of the Dead”. I think it is a lovely idea.

I’ve always felt this is the right tack to take and have spoken to my eldest and explained death as simply and as honestly as I could. As a child I grew up deathly afraid of death and even now it gives me chills even though I understand it as an adult. Teaching death as a part of life makes acceptance easier.

Our older children growing up in a rural area knew about death due to animals. They still wanted to bury the dead , just had to understand that burials are done in special places. My younger ones have not had a problem with this as we have explained in language they understand. All my children go to talk to the person at the grave or stone put up, they know that they can talk to the person and this helps.

It is hard for me as an adult to understand, to then explain it to my children…

Very interesting story that needs to be told to help parents or careers have a better understanding on how to explain a most important thing on life’s journey.

I wouldn’t say it’s a comfortable conversation, but I don’t avoid it.

I lost my mum when the girls were young so had to think about this very quickly.

Be honest and let children grieve.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 01 Dec 2018 , 7:56 am

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  The life and death cycle is a part of life and children and adults need to be comfortable to talk about each stage of the cycle. We have no taboos and talk about everything. Of course we adjust discussion to age appropriate levels.

Thanks for this timely article. My children’s great Grandma just recently passed away and it was a hard topic to discuss with them.

It can be a difficult topic but it’s a form of life and one we had to learn early. I’m sure this article will assist a few people.

Thanks for the article,such a difficult discussion to talk about.