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A first-time-mum was left shocked after her family launched into a transphobic tirade during her baby shower – all because she’d asked for gender neutral toys and clothing.

The 26-year-old is expecting her first baby, a little girl, with her 29-year-old husband, and the couple has some strong beliefs on how they want their daughter raised.

“I grew up in a moderately religious household with pretty strictly defined gender roles,” the expecting mum explained on reddit. “As in, since I was a girl, I had chores around the house while my younger brother did not have to do anything.

“I don’t talk to my parents for a variety of reasons (going on year 5 now) so they do not know I am pregnant. Both my aunts and grandparents were very supportive of me leaving my household and as such have been my main family. Being six-months-pregnant now, people have started to give gifts and I am very grateful for them.”

The couple has decided that they don’t want their little girl to be ‘surrounded by pink everything and only girly things’. So they’ve made a conscious effort to also purchase clothing and toys that are ‘traditionally boy’.

“We have told people that any gender items would be accepted and if it’s getting too much ‘pink’ we have gone out to balance a bit (getting a green jacket or something). My younger aunt has taken great offence to this because ‘boys are boys and girls are girls’. And she is a very verbal and loud person and has let us know several times her opinions. She has two boys.”

‘What part of the penis was needed to operate this toy truck?!’

The situation came to a head at the couple’s baby shower, resulting in a shocking exchange between the expecting mum and her aunt.

“My older aunt gifted us a book called ‘Goodnight Construction Site’ and a little stuffed truck. My younger aunt went on a tirade about how we are somehow making our daughter trans and not allowing her to be a girl. And she’s a loud person so of course her saying this was more like a yell, and in front of my VERY liberal in-laws who are very supportive of our choice.

“Pregnancy hormones took over and I grabbed the toy, gave it to my younger aunt and asked her what part of the penis was needed to operate this toy truck. She yelled that’s not what she meant and left. The rest of the baby shower went fine but it was a bit awkward after. Since then she has been blowing up Facebook where a bunch of people agree with her that I am making my daughter trans and have been telling me that I was an a**hole. The rest of my family think what we are doing is fine, but that I shouldn’t have handled it that way.”

What are your thoughts on what happened? Who should apologise? Let us know in the comments below. 

  • Both could have handled it better

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  • I rather think the aunt should apologise for imposing her unwanted opinions on someone else’s child. Although sure, maybe Mum should have handled it differently. She’s not really in the wrong, though.

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  • Tell your aunt up until recently pink was reserved for Baby boys. Honestly is ridiculous. Toys are you and they should be enjoyed by everyone. Doesn’t sound like someone you would want around your kid anyway. This aunt has just shown you how intolerant she is.

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  • Wow! You can’t “make” someone Trans – that’s just ridiculous and boys and girls should be able to play with whatever they want. There are lots of female truck drivers these days too.. I can totally get why the mum was upset…

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  • Oh wow. I think if you are recieving gifts you can’t tell someone what they should or shouldn’t buy you. If it’s pink so what. But fair enough if you want ti allow your daughter to play with trucks & not have pink items. I gave my son a doll & pram, he is not interested one bit,it’s cars cars cars & trucks for him & the most he will do with a doll is pick it up & throw it on the ground or step over it. So I tried but he’s drawn to cars & trucks.

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  • A baby girl or boy can play with anything these days.

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  • a baby is born being girl or boy…

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  • I didn’t stick to the gender roles either, my kids wore and played with whatever they wanted. Family (particularly my parents, the older generation) bought the traditional pink/blue, boy/girl items. I was ok with that, I appreciated any and all gifts, but I didn’t state they needed to change. I felt my kids had balance without offending family over gifts

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  • I do not believe you need to have a pink for girl blue for boy party. Can be a little morecreative there

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