My son is nearly 30 and never visits me, but gets me to frequently babysit. How do you manage relationships with adult children?

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  • I would probably just enjoy the time with the grand children and be there for your son

  • You talk to him about it and enjoy the time with your grandchildren, he no doubt relies on you heavily, plan a meal time where you can all be together, these days they are so busy with their lives, yet there are times they remember us, just know he does love you I am sure.

  • I grew up with my grandparents mostly taking care of me as my parents were always at work trying to make a living so now my parents help a lot like they were helped by their parents.
    I think it’s nice for kids to have a good relationship with their grandparents – I loved mine so much, especially my grandpa. I was so devastated when he died, I think about him all the time but I would love my kids to have the same kind of relationship.

  • I would be happy to just be able to spend that time with my grandchildren. I believe it works both ways. Do you visit them or do you only see them when you baby sit?

  • What about you visiting them ?
    My grandparents would come one afternoon per week. They would listen to their grand children, mend the broken socks, my grandma would bring her knitting needles and make something for us and teach us knitting too and sometimes she would help out with dinner preparation.

  • Setting up a regular date and time for visits can be a positive step forward.

  • We have firm boundaries and clear communication.

  • I don’t think you can force such things, but would first of all show delight every time you see him (even if it’s just to drop off his kids), enjoy seeing your grand children and maybe organise a day out/dinner/ family get together. My parents used to organise holidays and pay for the cottages of each of their children with their families.

  • I have a son exactly like this too does not bother to phone or message me but when its time for him to go out somewhere its mum are you available I am dropping off my daughter to you now thanks.
    Its just gets too much

  • I guess im lucky as all three of my daughters love to come and visit when they can. We all live a very long way from each other but they get flights to come and visit when they are able. In fact my eldest two will be here in 2 weeks time.
    Have you actually told your Son that you would love to have him come for a visit?
    Im really not sure what you can other then be thankful that you get to see your grandkids.

  • I’d sit down and talk to him about it. Tell him you’d love to arrange a day out or a get together so you can catch with him too, not just his kids. Maybe plan some dinners or family BBQs and invite him along. I’m sure he can’t say no every time and will get the hint eventually.

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