Baby shower is doing my head in!

A very good friend is having a baby and she’s a 1st time mum. A mutual friend and I are organising everything, but she is taking over and I am really hurt because she’s not letting me have any input in our friend’s day. Fortunately most of the problems so far have solved themselves, so I haven’t had to say anything- The mum-to-be has chosen the date and venue which is fine with me as it’s her day. I had a great idea for a “mum” gift for her because the baby gets so much focus and I think mums need a gift too. So I told our mutual friend and now she is doing the gift that I was wanting to give my friend. That really made me upset but mum to the rescue has thought of something else to do now, so I’m happy. But how do I tell my friend that I want to be more involved in our mutual friend’s day? So far every other idea that I have had has been shot down! 🙁 I love both of my friends very much so I don’t want to hurt either of them but I think she’s over extending herself, and I don’t want to be left to pick up the pieces or fix it because she’s taken on too much for our mutual friend. I don’t think it has to be OTT (this isn’t the Real Housewives of BH). Our friend is super chill and something OTT is not her at all! I want it to be special and relaxed and memorable for all the right reasons! Any suggestions would be great!

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34 replies
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- - ChiWren, QLD said
  - 03 May 2024
    3:42 pm
Hopefully everything went well. Sounds like the friend was a little too eager
- - mom134803, QLD said
  - 03 Oct 2016
    12:37 pm
Oh my goodness this is a very old post !! Hope it all worked out with your friend and the baby shower ? Did you get to talk things out ?
- - mom160421, QLD said
  - 21 May 2016
    8:39 pm
The best way would be to delegate jobs, that way each person knows exactly what they are responsible for.
- - coastalkaryn, QLD said
  - 14 Jan 2016
    6:39 pm
ask her to take a step back, and let you two organise it, and trust you. I hate all these shitty parties to be honest, and being part of a big family of girls, it is incredibly hard to have my view point, as most like them. to me they are come over and buy me a present kinda things…. Good luck with it all, I feel for you!!!
- - mom81879, QLD said
  - 10 Oct 2015
    8:05 am
Only way to fix it is by being honest. Your friend might not even realise how she’s being. Show her your post here
- - mom67623, QLD said
  - 10 Apr 2015
    7:45 am
IN NICE WAY YOU HAVE TO TELL HER HOW YOU FEEL! NOT ABOUT PAST EVENTS BUT THAT YOU FEEL THAT YOU WOULD LIKE TO FEEL INVOLVED MORE SO THAT YOU CAN SHARE THE PLANNING ETC TOGETHER. YOUR OWN WORDS BUT USE I FEEL SO IT IS MORE POSITIVE CONVERSATION, YOU SAY YOU ARE ALL GOOD FRIENDS SO SHE MAY NOT BE AWARE THAT SHE IS DOING MORE THAN HER SHARE AS IT IS A JOINT EFFORT TO MAKE THE SHOWER A GREAT DAY,A SUGGESTION GET BUBBLE BLOWERS AS THEY ARE MAGICAL .CELEBRATION AND BEING HAPPY IS ALL THAT IS NEEDED. ALL THE BEST
- - mom94125, QLD said
  - 06 Jan 2015
    8:42 pm
this sounds just like the plot of the movie “bridesmaids” that was hilarious
- - Mis Jo, QLD said
  - 29 Jul 2014
    3:53 pm
Sounds quite normal to me…good luck!
- - Michelle, QLD said
  - 24 Jun 2014
    5:29 am
Hope it all worked out in the end?
- - tilly, QLD said
  - 01 May 2014
    9:05 pm
Hope the party went off without any trouble. Would love to hear
- - shoni89, QLD said
  - 29 Apr 2014
    10:18 am
If you look up watermelon baby shower in google images. I love the idea 🙂
- - fruitwood, QLD said
  - 27 Apr 2014
    12:25 am
It’s really really hard to work with someone else when it comes to planning a party for a 3rd person. I would call her up and say you have some spare time coming up, what can you do to help out. That way your not upsetting her and she has the opportunity to ask for your help.
- - ashyhatton, QLD said
  - 07 Apr 2014
    2:43 pm
Hope it all worked out and everyone including mum enjoyed themselves 🙂
- - mummy liana, QLD said
  - 27 Mar 2014
    9:32 pm
there are some good comments here
- - jodie80, QLD said
  - 26 Mar 2014
    8:19 pm
how did it go in the end .. . .
- - mummy liana, QLD said
  - 26 Mar 2014
    7:25 pm
i hoped it all worked out
- - emily_zilm, QLD said
  - 24 Mar 2014
    7:04 pm
I hope everything turned out well!
- - mel83ak, QLD said
  - 06 Mar 2014
    5:33 pm
You sound like a lovely friend. Maybe if you can’t seem to get in on the baby shower planning you can take photos of the day and collect little keepsakes (Game card answer sheets etc) and make her a little album? Maybe leave a few pages to be filled in by her when the baby arrives too…. 😉
- - BellaB, QLD said
  - 17 Feb 2014
    4:45 pm
How lovely that you both care so much about your friend! Try saying that you’re feeling like you’d like to contribute more to the party, and I do think you should mention your disappointment at having your gift idea taken over. That’s very uncouth.
- - chook117, QLD said
  - 16 Feb 2014
    5:13 pm
I was just kindly say to her you have a lot on your plate how about letting me take over for a bit or something so it doesn’t sound nasty but in fact helpful.