Hello!

How do I help my 2 year old deal with separation anxiety? My son turned 2 last month and he is very very clingy to the point I can’t even leave the room without him coming too. I just want some suggestions on how to get him to stop having such bad separation anxiety with me.

Posted by anon, 04/09/13

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  • Babies and toddlers often get clingy and cry if you or their other carers leave them, even for a short time. Separation anxiety and fear of strangers is common in young children between the ages of 6 months and 3 years, but it’s a normal part of your child’s development and they usually grow out of it.
    At this age it’s all about attaching with and trust in the attachment figure, which forms the basis of healthy relationships for the rest of their life. Young children are hungry for attachment because they lack self-sufficiency and are highly dependent on us for care-taking.


  • Start with small wins, such as leaving the room regularly til he gets used to it. Expand the time and then start experimenting with leaving the room at a friends house, leaving him with family fir short bursts.


  • It says this q is 2 years old – what worked for you? My daughter is like this with her dad


  • What did you end up doing to help with the separation anxiety?


  • Hope some of the advice below has helped.


  • maybe try playgroup or child care where they can play with other children


  • how is it going now?


  • How is your son going now?


  • What did you end up doing?


  • Is he attending a day care ? Maybe look at getting him into a casual day care – that is what I had to do to break my eldest daughter who had bad separation anxiety.


  • It is a phase, eventually he will grow out of.


  • Just assure them that you will return and start by only short trips away and lengthen them with time


  • Wanted to know aswell, thanks for posting.


  • I too have experienced this, more than ever before! I am trying to enjoy our time together and to remember that all too soon she’ll be grown up and probably want to be totally independent.
    Frustrating as it is, I would (am!) trying to ride it out and enjoy the moment. It is very natural.
    Good luck! ;)


  • Short breaks without you and gradually lengthen the time A favourite toy could help too


  • I am pretty sure that it is just a stage and it will pass… Try distracting him with a toy when you want to leave and see if that helps…


  • My twin girls have just turned 3 and are still very clingy. I have just enrolled them into daycare for one day a week to try and help them get used to being away from me before they start 3 year old kinder. I think once they get use to it, they will be fine, but like anything, it may take a while. So I would suggest something similar for your son, or if you have grandparents who don’t work, maybe try leaving him with them for one day a week. I also found a lot of he play centres offer half day care, which may also be worth a try as he will get to interact with other toddler his age. Good luck


  • Find yourself a family day career, one that does it at home and has only about 5 or 6 kids. I had a lovely lady who helped with my eldest who used to throw up it I left him. We started by me sitting next to him, then standing up, then moving a few meters away on a chair, leaving the room for a few minutes at a time, then just adding to this. It took about 6 weeks and he is now the most social child about. Even if it is just a few hours a week this may help.


  • It broke my heart when my son used to do this, he is almost 5 now and still does it on occasion. we found that having a set routine for goodbyes helped but also to let them know what was happening – a few days out etc, (when you can) to try to prepare them for times apart. It does get better.


  • I hope you have found something to help


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