You need to get your partner to talk to her! I constantly have similar situations and unfortunately there will always be some issue that drives me bananas. My 3 yr old son was once asleep in our bed with us (MIL was staying the night at our place) and she came in our room and I woke up to her peering over me so she could see me son. Again, you need to get your partner to talk to her. Unfortunately, it may resolve 1 or 2 issues but wont fix her personality!

I had this issue and i just lost my poop at her. Told her she needs to back off and leave my child alone. Otherwise she won’t be allowed in the house while my child is asleep.