Currently we don’t speak to my sister in law or see her since we got married because of her actions. However when we had our baby we said to my mother-in-law do not send photos of him to her, she will not be involved in his life. We then found out she was sending photos, we confronted her and her response was I only sent a few I didn’t send them all. When we know she sent lots. She said she’s his Aunty. And my husband said no she isn’t. We said if you continue to do this you will not see our son again. We then found out she sent another photo. I have only seen one photo be sent so far but it’s still a photo. The bigger issue isn’t her sending photos, its her purposely going against what we have asked.

Are we being unreasonable? I know it’s just a photo but we have said don’t send anything to her.

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  • Definitely not unreasonable. I would be very annoyed and upset.

  • I don’t think you’re being unreasonable, I think people need to accept your wishes for your child.

  • That’s a hard one. It might be difficult for your mother in law not to share photo’s when she is proud with her grandchild. I understand it is hard when your mil went against your wishes. But is it something you can step over and let go ? Your sister in law saw the pictures of your child, so what ? it’s not something you can change after the fact. I would let it go and not waste negative energy on that

  • You aren’t being unreasonable at all. They need to respect your wishes, even if they don’t agree with them but it’s your baby. And you have the right to saying who gets photos.

  • Sounds very similar to my family. Those who think you are being unreasonable don’t even know the start of the reasons why you don’t have anything to do with the sister in law. Your mother in law is being disrespectful and this is your child so if you ask for those photos to not be forwarded onto someone who you cut from your life she should respect that if she wants to continue her relationship with your son.

  • considering photos can be all over social media that anyone can see, it is likely they will see them anyway. We don’t talk to some family but we don’t mind photos being sent as it is the kids who might want to know who their family is and photos are important historic evidence.

  • Some people fall apart with their family for very serious reasons. I do not think you are being unreasonable. I also think your mil should not receive nor be allowed to take may photos of your child. Or see him if she’s not careful… It might make her consider her ways

  • I’m thinking that you may need to follow through on your threat of not taking your son to your MILs. You aren’t being immature, you are setting boundaries and it is YOUR child. For someone to go against your wishes regarding your own child, is not okay. ‘Family’ does not mean that they have an automatic right to have their behaviour excused and to disrespect your wishes.

  • You are being a little unreasonable. Family is family and you should try to mend the bridge.

  • No, you are not being unreasonable. It’s about boundaries and respect for you and your family. We have had similar situations on many occasions with both my family and my in-laws. I’m now in therapy working at setting boundaries and sticking to them. My psychologist and GP are shocked at the boundary breaking that goes on in my family. It also relates to safety and abuse in our family. So we are estranged from our in-laws and move away from my family so we can manage things more easily now.

  • How frustrating to have your requests ignored. Thankfully, your husband is on your side which must make it a lot easier for you.

  • I would just stop sending photos on any medium to both of them. I admit I don’t like the thought of baby photos being on any media other that at home in an album due to the actions of others who might take a liking to the photo.

  • Maybe not send any photos to your MIL either if she is going to go against your wishes. I’m glad your husband is on your side about this as well

  • This sounds extremely immature, if you’re going to behave like this I’m sure your sister in law really doesn’t care what you do.

  • Sometimes, I just don’t understand why people can’t ‘respect’ and go with what was asked.

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