Any update on what you ended up doing OP? Sounds like a really tough situation to be in

Before you agree, can you try to feel him out about his future intentions?

Such a difficult position to be in. A few options to choose from, but none are ideal. I think if you refuse contact, it will come back to bite you when she’s older and realises you are the reason she had no contact with her dad. At least if let him in and he fails, the blame falls on him and only him

Was there a resolution to this? I hope it all ended up well

I notice this question was posted a few years back and I’m wondering how things are with your family. Hope all is well.

I undestand your dilemma as a visit to dad can upset her. The fact that she calls your new partner daddy doesn’t mean that she knows she has “another” father. My 6 year old foster daughter calls me and my husband daddy and mummy while she calls her real parents also daddy & mummy.
Does your daughter remember her father ? Does she feel for seeing him ?

it’s a really hard situation love. my son’s dad never wanted to see him, still doesn’t actually and Nick is 24yo now. I wish you well with your decision. I know families that have two dads and they just have different names for them, and they are both dads… good luck

Wait till she is a bit older and maybe she can decide whether to see him . He already decided it is a too hard basket to handle so it is a bit pointless for now .

I would be reluctant to let him back into her life for the simple reason of the disturbance this would cause her. Everyone seems settled in their lives. However, if you do stop visits, it could come back to bite you when she’s older and finds out you stopped her from seeing her dad

I’d recommend going through mediation.

This is a difficult one, he is her father and I understand your point of view of not wanting to see your daughter let down if he does the same thing again, all the best.

it might be best to talk this through with a counsellor who will have your daughters best interest in mind and also may have dealt with these situations before

i hope its worked out for you all

So very difficult. I’d be hesitant; ideally your daughter would have a relationship with him, but I think it would be very damaging if he bails again. Could you and he see a counsellor together BEFORE he has contact with your daughter?

if he is the dad, then I guess you need to give him the chance of getting to know his little one

hard decision .. maybe meet him yourself first

I hope you are able to resolve this without involving courts. See if you can get some answers and reassurances. He is her father, and if he wants to be involved in her life, the courts will find in his favour unless there are concerns for safety. Maybe now that he is going to be a daddy again he realises that it’s more then just about him. Good luck.

I hope this gets sorted out for your daughters sake. He is her father and does have the right to see her. He may have gone through some depression after his break up. Men do just as women do. Maybe the second time he just didn’t know how to handle a toddler. It’s not fair of course that he has come in and out of her life but may have been for the best at the time. I would ask him why now and why not then? It’s up to the adults to try and work with each other for the sake of your daughter. If he ends up not being in her life it’s better that she knows you did everything you could to provide access to her. As NADIA DRAPER posted she was fine when her mum made that decision way back but now regrets it. I hope everything works out for you all.

i feel for you and your child as this is clearly a difficult position. At the end of the day, always put your childs needs first and your x will have to do the same too

Ask your ex why? And does he intend to stay in her life forever. If not then you need to stress to him the pain this will cause your daughter and your family. I think as a child who had a father and stepfather, my stepfather was a better father and did all things dads did. My real father came In and out when he wanted too. Not what was good for me.. I say stay In or get out entirely.( if she wants to find him when she is older let her)