Hello!

My daughter had a playdate today but the little girl was a bit mean to her and seemed more interested in talking to me and making sure my daughter didn’t touch her toys. They are 2 yrs old and we’ve been in the same mother’s group since they were babies. They haven’t seen each other in a while. I’m wondering when kids decide they don’t like someone?


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  • At age 3 most kids meet other kids at playgroup and child care and start to make the beginning of friendships, although often not really understanding what a friendship means. At what age do friendships start?
    Friendships usually develop when children are around 4 years old. Building a friendship takes emotional skills, social skills and some self-control.


  • A nice article about the different stages of friendships;
    https://kids-first.com.au/the-5-stages-of-childrens-friendships/


  • Deepends a bit on how you define friendships.
    In childhood kids develop social and friendship skills (such as turn taking and sharing). Only at later age they’ll develop real friendships (as in sharing thoughts & feelings and having your back) At 3 years old, children often meet others at playgroup or child care and may be able to name their friends and want to play with them. Sometimes children this age don’t have a clear idea who their friends are. By age 4, children usually have friends at preschool or day care.
    By four years, most children will be able to tell the difference between ‘my friend’ and other children they know. Some children seem to make friends easily and get energy from being around a lot of other people.


  • Fortunately we can make new friends at any age.


  • It’s very hard to know which friendships will last and which ones don’t go the distance. Just go with the flow. If your daughter doesn’t gel with someone, that’s okay, she’ll meet new friends soon enough.


  • I think it is good for them to socialize even if they end up “not liking” each other. Children need to learn to get on, put up with disappointments, wait turns, share etc. and this is a great opportunity. I often think that real “friendships” aren’t really formed until we are a lot older (even into adulthood) when we are more discerning, able to withstand peer pressure etc. and actually able to judge whether we are compatible with someone; before then during school it is a case of “surviving” and finding someone to hangout with who isn’t going to hurt/harm/bully/tease etc. I think kids end up being “friends” who wouldn’t have chosen each other had circumstance not thrown them together.


  • oh, it is just kids, they don’t think that way love, this is adult thinking. kids are incredibly forgiving and live in a world where they are the most important at that age and so they should. All the best x


  • The way they interact with their peers changes as they get older. I think that sounds pretty normal for the age group. It’s hard for 2 year old to “share” – it’s a bit of an ambiguous concept at that age.


  • yeah they go back and forward too! friends today and not tomorrow lol.


  • Kids can be pretty fussy! My son had a similar exoerience with the son of a family friend, he didn’t want to play with him again. They’re fairly young when they can discern who they like and dislike


  • Kids do go through stages too – when they play nicely and not so nicely! Encourage lots of gentle play and be there to guide them in being kind to each other when it is play time.


  • My daughter just turned 3 and only in the last few months has she been interested in other kids. Previously she has played with kids who were a bit mean and she didn’t like them, now after a few months has gone by she has played with them again and gotten along fine. I think it’s all to do with her confidence in being able to deal with other kids and maturing enough to share toys.


  • Kids develop and change their friendships a lot when they are little. Kids need to have a lot of little friends for play time.


  • as young as 6 thms, I used to work in childcare, and some of the babies definitely had formed bonds with eath other


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