What Are Other Parents Thoughts On 15yo and Boyfriend Sleepover - Mouths of Mums

Hello!

Help mums! We have a 15 year old daughter. She has a super sweet 16yo boyfriend, they’ve been together for about 8 months. They hang out together at each other’s homes 1-2 times a week. My daughter has come to me to ask if they can have a sleepover together. We’ve been fine about sleepovers with select female friends over the years, where we know have close friendships with the parents and know their home dynamics etc (please don’t judge), however we have mixed feelings about sleeping over with a boy at this age. They’re both introverted and pretty innocent, so far only hold hands and kiss, although they’ve pronounced I❤️U to each other. While they catch up at ours and his homes, we and his parents have an open door policy. Our daughter has always been super open with me, and I honestly don’t think s3x is on the cards right now, however I’m not oblivious to the fact that things progress. His parents are open to it. I’m aware her legal age is 16. I’ve to date said we don’t think it’s a good idea yet, but we want to keep communication open – I know it’ll be hard to continue to say no for another 10 months until she’s 16. Please help, any suggestions/tips? How have others tackled this situation?


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  • It’s a huge no no here. It doesn’t matter whether they’re both introverts or not and you might think they’re innocent but hormones come into play and nothing is off the books when they kick in. I’d be saying that they’re too young yet and have him come and stay for dinner or even during the day and then take him home. Same with his parents. But 15 is way too young. I coached 15yr old girls in netball and the quietest one ended up pregnant. She was the least one I would have thought that would happen to. So keep an eye on them.


  • It would be a big no still to young


  • I personally think it depends on the individual kids with this one. If you trust them both and they are pretty innocent currently, I think it would be fine as long as you are vigilant with supervision. At least if the sleepover is at your house, you would have some control over things. That would be better than rebellion.


  • When I was 15 I used to sleep at my boyfriends house and as smart and innocent I was, even Woking afters school, I was intimate with my then boyfriend. I’m lucky I didn’t fall pregnant. I would say no or have them sleep over at your place so you can keep eyes on them.


  • At the age of 15 I feel this is way too young for either a young boy or a young girl. I would only allow my daughter or my son being able to do this when they are of the age of 18. My house, my rules and that is my thoughts.


  • I have a 16 year old and even at that age it would be a big no from me.. She’s still young and we need to stop normalising that this is ok. I think hanging out for 1-2 days is plenty of time for them with all things considered. Good luck mumma 🤩


  • This is a really tricky one. Hormones are off the charts at this age. I agree that this is the time to discuss contraception and maybe organise a GP visit do they can learn all the options. Once intimacy is on the cards teens will find a way. If I were you I would try to float the idea of not yet sleeping over, but you’ll drop him back home very late so they can hang out in the evening together. Hopefully that can be enough for now


  • No, instead let her invite him to dinner/lunch at your place instead. 15 is too young.


  • Another point to consider is that saying no could mean that your child may become less open, impacting your relationship with her and may start to get intimate at a certain point in secret. You also say that they’re both introverted and pretty innocent, so far only hold hands and kiss, and that sex is not on the radar yet. So I wouldn’t worry too much, but that time will come one day. Be prepared and grow to that stage together whilst keeping the communication open.


  • Aw, it’s hard to advise on this question as it’s such a personal family decision with mixed opinion between parents and experts.
    Many parents may feel that 15 is too young for overnight stays, often with reason of lack of maturity and risk of pregnancy.
    Saying no though, may not stop your child to get intimate at a certain point and and when you allow a safe and somewhat supervised environment at home you can talk about respect and conscent and contraception if needed.
    Also, getting intimate doesn’t happen only in the night.


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