Hello!

My 4 year old started Kindy this year and has been doing wonderfully, her teacher tells me she is very intelligent and kind to all the other children. Today I found out she is being bullied by one of the girls in her class. My daughter has told me before that this little girl often tells her she isn’t her friend. Today she pushed her from the top of the slide and my daughter was badly hurt. I didn’t get a chance to talk to the mother before she left with her child this afternoon. What should I say to the mother of this little girl tomorrow when I see her at school? I’m feeling quite upset that my kind hearted little girl is being treated so badly. I know they are just children but there must be a resolution.

Posted by anon, 1/8/13

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  • I’d speak to the staff first and ask them to speak to both girls about what is acceptable behaviour and what is not.


  • Has the teacher been notified? Is it possible for the teacher to get both you and the other mother to talk about what has happened? I would suggest do these things before speaking to the mother.


  • I’d talk to the teacher/ school first thing. Most schools have resilience training and it’s easier to identify and deal with behaviour as it happens in the playground/ classroom as most children don’t seem to remember their actions later on.


  • Just let the other mum know what happened, exactly how you wrote it here. Maybe ask for her to speak to her daughter about it. Yes, they are only kids, but bullying is out of control and needs nipping in the bud at the first sign. Hope it gets sorted


  • Try and let the school deal with it first as talking to the parent is often frowned upon by the school.


  • I did something very naughty and quite frowned upon. The other day I walked over to my son after school, and his bully was making fun of him, as he didnt see me there. I walked between them, faced the bully, and said “Dont you dare ever speak to my son or any other child like that agin, otherwise there will be huuuuge trouble. Do you understand me?” No trouble since.


  • Would love to know what you did in the end and how it was sorted


  • At our school, it’s discouraged for parents to contact other parents directly. Rather it’s prefered to speak to the teacher/principal to have the matter resolved.


  • Nothing to the mother, I’d go straight to the Head of the school and let that person sort it out.


  • Bulling is so hard and i dont think there will ever be a proper solution


  • Makes me so angry and I am dealing with something with my son at school as well. It is hard to keep your cool also but I would give her a serve.


  • You need to alert the staff to this matter , they should be keeping an eye on the situation. If you talk to the mum it may make the situation worse. It is extremely stressful for you and your daughter, I know as my daughter also suffered at the hands of bullies. On the other hand I also have a son and 5 days into his prep year I am informed by the teacher that he had poked a girl with a pencil, it turned out that he really liked this little girl but his skills with social interaction were behind the level of his academic skills . So we invited her to his birthday party , as confronting her mum would not have been a good idea.Maybe a play date could help and you could observe why the other little girl behaves the way she does.


  • Go see the head master and get it sorted out that way.


  • there are some good comments here


  • could u have a talk to the teacher … . . .


  • I’d get the teacher involved. What happened? Did you find a peaceful solution?


  • How did it all work out?


  • It’s so horrible to see that happening to your child – definitely have a chat to her teacher


  • I hope it goes well


  • I would let the teacher know so that they can keep an eye on the situation. I’d also talk to my daughter about telling the other girl when she says that she isn’t friends to let her know ‘i don’t want to be friends with a bully!’.


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