I find it hard to deal with teenage daughters about anything, they do get very short, and touchy if you rub them up the wrong way, even when you don’t realise that you are!

Maybe she is a little stressed at the work and it takes a lot to ask for help at that age as we all know at 19 we know better than everyone else. Id definitely not take it personally and while I totally understand your you time has been interrupted the fact she is coming to you still I think is fantastic and if she is ready or not she clearly just needs some help from her mum.

I’m just a bit confused here… it says she came to you with math but doesn’t need math, she just needs to write out a question then you are bewildered and ask her to have the question ready… was she asking you for help coming up with the question? I get the frustration on both sides. Mostly I get frustrated when asked anything math related, especially by my 6 year old who is literally just testing me as he already knows the answer and already knows I probably don’t. But I think she was frustrated by you saying have the question ready first, it kinda sounds like you weren’t overly interested in helping her. It doesn’t, however, excuse her rude attitude and I pull my children up on this at the time. Maybe you should too?

First thought was try not to take in personally.. she sounds abit stressed out from studying. However, if she does this alot and disrespects you often, let her know. She’s now an adult and she wouldn’t talk to her professor/lecturer/teacher that way and she shouldn’t talk to you like that! You sound like a pretty cool mum helping her with her uni studies.. maybe you could tell her your busy and to figure it out herself? Idk..

I just wait till my teenager is cooled down and ask why did you get so upset ?

I think if you’re in a public space in the house you can’t be in “do not disturb time”. If you can’t help your kid don’t give the impression that you can (eg by moving to a different room with them).
It would also help interactions with your daughter by saying “let’s write it out together” instead of saying she has to have it ready for you. Work together with her rather than against her.
I get a bit triggered when people throw around the word “abuse” like that. Your daughter getting upset with you is not abuse, if you feel that way you need to see someone about it and change the way you’re looking at how your daughter treats you. Kids get stressed and yell with frustration, that’s not abuse. You talking to someone external to your family (such as a counsellor or psychologist) may do wonders for future interactions with your child.

I think all if not most teenagers are like this.
Maybe just let her know when she’s not in a mood that you’re feeling this way.

I am sorry that you are feeling abusing. That’s really unfair. It sounds like you have a completely ‘normal’ teenager. This seems to be yet another stage of development. My 19 year old is very self centred and oblivious to my needs too,……but then I see her with others and hear about the kind ways that she deals with customers where she works and I see glimmers of hope. I envisage the teenage years as being like the caterpillar turning into a butterfly, except the caterpillar is rather prickly and often stings. Her brain is still going through the massive changes of that time and she will hopefully emerge from the other side soon. Not long to go for both of us I hope Hang in there. It sounds like you are being incredibly patient.

It sounds like you were irritated she interrupted you and you both miscommunicated.

Catch her at a time when she isn’t studying and have a conversation. Explain you’re happy to help but you would appreciate it if she has everything ready. Tell her between certain times, you are unavailable because you’re doing some self care.
Maybe schedule some mother daughter self care like manicures, going out for coffee etc. studying is mentally exhausting for some. And she’s only 19, still learning how to emote on a more mature level.

This is tough. I think she may be frustrated at the work at hand, and expects that you’re instantly available to her. Maybe have a chat about how you can work through the maths together – before you go to start it. Studying is quite stressful, and can make some people irritable. No it’s not fair on you, hence having a chat. Good luck.