Oh I hear you.
I dont know why this is. Perhaps many females are very insecure and feel that their children will love them less if they start to care for the step mum.
I am in a position where both the man I am involved with and myself lost our partners to cancer. Our children are grown but even so those sterotypes have been thrown my way. I have 3 daughters who have welcomed my partner with open arms. He has two children… a son and a daughter. The son has welcomed me but the daughter has sadly been unaccepting which hurts her Dad something terrible. I feel heartbroken for him. He lost his wife 7 years ago but his daughter still expects him to be alone and living with just his memories. Apparently im only after his money which is laughable as my property, etc is worth more then his. But thats the stereotype.

Hollywood pushes it as a lazy stereo type

I think its an ego thing,

I agree with you wholeheartedly as I am a stepmom too. I get grief from my stepsons mother. She dropped him on our doorstep when he was eleven saying she could not handle him. If he gets into trouble, it is the way I brought him up. We are in a no-win situation.

Hard to understand isn’t it. Harsh judgement, unwarranted and totally unhelpful. No advice or answers other than to look after your own sanity. Humour can work to diffuse situations with others, although those out to make trouble will find even ‘dad jokes’ offensive. Sometimes I think humour is how/why men get away with it… they don’t see the nastiness or make light of it when they do.

I’m in the same boat as you, feel your pain . I don’t have any tips unfortunately

Been through this honestly and see it from both sides I feel like the bio mum feels threatened that someone is going to take her place and that worried feeling your children are going to “like her better etc”

As a step mum I just worry about the children and that’s it everyone can talk and say what they like everyone is always going to have a opinion on everything just have to choose not to let it get to you life is to short

I’m a step mum as well so totally understand.
My now hubby’s sister (the one he is closest to the most out of three) was actually really harsh to me when we first met. She totally ignored me and always took cheap shots at me whenever she could because she didn’t like the he had a kid to someone else and thought he was abandoning that child. She thinks he and his ex should have stayed together.
I guess it gets better with time? She’s a bit nicer to me these days (or to my face at least) but she seems to still have a good relationship with his ex as she invited her to her wedding.
I guess just keep on doing what you’re doing. Don’t worry about what others say or think. Your partner has clearly chosen you so no one else’s opinion should matter. It does get hard to deal with sometimes but just know that he loves you and those haters can’t change that.

I have known many step mums, and not many had the experience you’re describing. So I think it’s about the people you know.

I am not sure but it sounds like you are doing your best.
Have you spoken to your other half?

I’m sorry you’re facing this type of opinion and judgement, that must be very hard and I can imagine it drags you down sometimes. Seems to me you have your heart on the right place and your love and passion for your partners children will pay off ! Try not to let other people’s opinion affect what you do and feel in life and surround yourself with positive people. Xx