You know the saying to be kind to unkind people because they need it the most ? I think it’s often very true !

Just treat her the way you would like to be treated. It is her problem not yours. Providing your respectful and polite I wouldn’t be too concerned.

Sounds like this will be challenging. Myself, I would just not bother with her. It’s easier that they live in a different state, so you won’t have to spend much time together. But just be polite when visits do happen, but don’t overdo it

Just be polite and show how much you care for your niece. Hope it works out.

Show her how much you love her child and keep being nice to her. Hopefully your mutual love for her child will let her see how much you all care?

You just keep on being you and ignore her insults for the sake of your brother and your niece/nephew

Will she ever like you? If she’s anything like my sister-in-law, then No. Some people have their own agenda and will never warm to you not matter how hard you try. My sister-in-law’s agenda was to get my brother away from his loving family because (in her words) she was jealous of the bond we shared!?! He was so weak, her agenda worked. Anyway, enough about me, in your case I would keep it cordial for your niece’s sake, and I wouldn’t expect too much from your sister-in-law,

Through your brother??? Some people are like that and some just don’t change, sadly. You can try all sorts of things, I hope you find one that works

my sister’s boyfriend is very shy and sort of acts stand offish as well

Don’t assume that she does not like you maybe she finds social occasions overwhelming and is shy. If you look at it differently you won’t feel hurt. Try to find something you have in common. The baby will be a great icebreaker.

Maybe your niece will enhance the relationship?

it can be difficult but good to see that you want to put the effort in. one good thing as you live in different states is you dont have to see her that often. Perhaps now she has a baby she will realise how important family is especially for her child and warm to you.

Tried for years with my sisters-in-law. Have pretty much given up. Hope you have better luck with yours.

I think that’s wonderful that you are putting in the effort to create a bond. You could try FaceTime or Skype. Good luck

Always be nice to her, don’t say anything less than positive about her to your brother and spoil your niece, basically kill her with kindness and eventually she’ll come around.