Friday nights – the end of a work week. The chance to kick up your heels, enjoy a bottle few glasses of wine and forget about responsibility for a bit. Unless you have kids, then it looks slightly different.

Friday nights before kids: meet your partner after work at some funky little restaurant and enjoy a bottle of wine. Take your time eating. All the while chatting away and catching up on what hilarious things have been happening in the work place.

Friday night after kids: finish work, collect kids from childcare/after school care, rush in the door and try and get dinner prepared in 15 minutes before you have a mutiny on your hands. All while trying to answer questions from the seven year old about what would happen if we were in Star Wars, who would win in a battle between an eagle and a great white shark, and trying to stop the toddler from biting the dining table or throwing the cutlery across the room and a fork making contact with someone.

Friday night before kids: after a leisurely dinner, go and watch a 9pm screening session at the movies. Get home, have great sex, and sleep in until 9am.

Friday night after kids: after manic dinner and possible laceration by flying forks, wrangle kids to get them ready for bed. Between bathing and dressing kids, stories, dodging scattered Lego blocks left on the floor, and seven year old getting out of bed 12 times before he actually falls asleep, finally collapse on the couch with a bottle glass of wine. Watch Better Homes and Gardens. Partner suggests watching a movie and realises it’s 9pm. Too late to start watching a movie, there’s no way you’ll stay awake until the end. Watch trashy tv for a bit longer, fall asleep exhausted in bed. No sex. Wake up at 6am to sounds of kids making a whole lot of noise.

Friday night before kids: Spontaneously decide to catch up with friends at a bar or restaurant in the city. Get changed, grab bag and head out the door. Drink too much wine. Get home around 1am. Sleep in until whenever you want. Go out for leisurely late brunch.

A dad on a night out without the kids. He’s only had one beer…

Friday night after kids: You made plans over a month ago to go out for dinner with friends. The babysitter has been booked and the seven year old has been bribed to be on his best behaviour so babysitter will be happy to look after the kids again another time. You have confirmed with the babysitter so many times, you’re worried that they think you have some kind of obsession or crush on them. Drink three glasses of wine and feel like you are completely off your face. Get home by 10pm so you don’t have to pay babysitter another $25 bucks an hour for sitting on the couch and watching tv. Sleep in until the kids choose to wake you up, most likely around 6am. Have horrendous hangover, children discover recorder and harmonica you thought a) you hid in a better hiding place, or b) threw it away after you developed a migraine from the continuous shrill noise produced by the instruments last time.

How are your Friday nights looking since you had kids? Please share in the comments below.

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