Good lord. Grandma is being very childish and acting like a spoilt brat.
The only person I wanted there was my husband and that was that.
I do think that Grandma should ahve been the first phone call after the bub was born but if she wants to continue to refuse to see the bub then I would take the high ground and simply respond with something along the lines of “Although we think that is sad we will respect your choice. If at any point you change your mind then know that you will always be welcome or if you would like us to bring bub to visit you then just let us know and we can sort out a time to suit”
Grandmas is being spiteful because she didnt get her way and I say its a start as you mean to go on thing. She needs to know that she is not the boss and can not control how her daughter runs her life as shes an adult now.

This wouldn’t have been as issue in 2020 haha think covid has changed alot of things

Thank heavens when I had my babies no one was allowed in the birthing room, not even my husband who would have probably needed more help than I did. None of my children’s grandparents even expressed a desire to be there and I had no desire to be at my grandchildren’s birth either.
Surely birthing is about the mum and the child FIRST and FOREMOST – everyone else should take a back seat. And if this grandmother wants to be so upset, then let her stay out of the child’s life. After all, who knows what she may say to the child when mum/dad isn’t around?

How sad the grandmother thinks its all about her.

If I won’t be allowed at the birth of my grandchild I certainly will be there as soon as possible afterwards. I had my mum there with my first and she said if I was making too much noise she wasn’t going to come in. Lucky for her I has an epidural.

Very sad that the grandparents want to shift the focus away from the newborn and the new parents to make a fuss about nothing at such a special time for the family.

The grandparent here sounds like a piece of work. I’d have hated to have my mum at the births of my children and while she would have loved to be there she respected my decision. Let her have her little sulk in the end she is the one who is missing out and leaving the toxicity away from your new baby

The grandma here sounds more than a bit narcissistic. Way to make it all about herself!

I believe it is up to the parents not grandparents.i have grandkids and great grandkids who I love to pieces and as long as they are born healthy it wouldn’t bother me.

My mom was there for my first- I preferred it. However, my sister didn’t, and that is just as fine as my choice. The person pushing out the kid gets to make the choice. All other options don’t matter. Including mine.

I think personally (for someone about to be a first time mum) that it is entirely your choice. I know my mum is disappointed that she can’t be present at the birth (COVID) however she understands that it is something to be shared between myself and my partner and that she will be the first to know if anything were to happen. I think your mum will calm down and see reason soon enough but do not feel guilty, you are a grown woman and mum now.

No I don’t like the idea of grandparents present at the birth of their grand children.

The grandmother’s being a bit silly- what’s done is done. However, the daughter really should have discussed the matter with her long before the birth and explained who she wanted to have with her and that it wasn’t going to be her mother. Might have made the blow less painful. Or perhaps she could have let the grandmother know that she was in labour and if she wanted to wait in the waiting room at the hospital she could, but not the delivery room.

To be honest, if grandma is going to behave like this over not being in control of the birth, what else is she going to tantrum over.

It sounds like it would be better to let her stay in the time out she’s put herself in until she properly addresses her behaviour.

Good luck! How rude and disrespectful to expect to be at the birth. And her reasons are downright manipulative. Good time to cut the cord!!

I get where she may had this vision in her head about being there and it might Be difficult to shift that vision, but surely not worth not seeing hour grandson if being at the birth was so important to her. I don’t know her side o who knows

Why does anyone think this is a party and not getting an invite is an insult? This is your time, your body, your baby and your choice. Just get on with being a mum and leave everyone else to sort themselves out, in time they will realise how ridiculous they have been. Congratulations and enjoy your son. They don’t stay babies for long.

This is very petty behaviour. I don’t believe anyone has the right to be present at the birth, it is not a spectator event.

BOUNDARIES! Hello parents! Once your child has left the nest and married. It is time to get used to the idea that you may not be the priority in your child’s life anymore. Sick and tired of listening to middle aged people complain about their demanding, interfering, boundary-crossing parents and then doing the same to their own children! Treat your kids how you would have liked to be treated by your parents.

• • 
  • • Ellen replied
    • 10 Dec 2020 , 9:07 am

  ---

  

  Amen to that, I totally agree. When we teach our kids to respect eachother’s “no”, we should expect our parents certainly to give the good example

I could understand her Mum feeling this way if the Mum-in-Law was at the birth but if her daughter only wanted her husband present then she needs to let it go. She could have always gone to the hospital and waited outside until her grandchild was born. She is missing out on a wonderful experience of meeting her grandchild.