A mum-of-one is trying to navigate some huge feelings around motherhood, after realising she not only ‘detests’ being a mum but ‘resents’ her toddler.
The mum took to an online forum to vent her frustrations, and to see if any other mums feel the same way, or if she’s simply a ‘vile human’.
She prefaces her confession by saying, “No, I’m not depressed,” she explained. “I don’t have a hormonal imbalance nor do I need to ‘speak to someone’ or take tablets. As true as the sky is blue, I detest being a mother and genuinely resent my toddler. Which sends me down a self loathing and hating spiral of guilt and shame daily. Am I the only one?”
She explains that while she does experience some happiness, her existence isn’t anything like that of her friends.
“Don’t get me wrong there are pockets of joy, but these are no where near the idyllic life it appears every parent around me is living. And I cant help but compare and wonder why I don’t have those same warm fuzzy feelings.
“I gave up a career, social life, family life, financial security and just a general feeling of accomplishment in life to now constantly be worried about debt, lack of career, a husband who doesn’t understand anything I’m experiencing, a relationship that is more of a friendship now than a marriage really, minimal contact with family and friends … and all for what?
“A screaming 2 year old who tests me to my limit daily.”
The mum worries that perhaps she just wasn’t cut out for motherhood, but now can’t escape.
“Maybe I just was not built for this. But how do women cope in this situation? Like do you just crack on and hope that you will some how raise a well adjusted individual and get over it?! Like im seriously at rock bottom and am now turning to some sort of validation online from strangers, while people who know me just keep saying, ‘Oh, you don’t mean that’, ‘Oh its just a phase”’, ‘Oh it’s fine you will be fine’. Like seriously am I the only one in the world feeling like this?!?”
Her honest confession was met with lots of support from other mums, who explained that she isn’t the only one.
“The first few years are the toughest but what kept me going was keeping my career, and attempting to hold onto some sort of social life to keep me sane,” one mum explained. “Are there steps you can take to improve even a couple of the areas you are struggling with? I certainly find it easier to parent when I have my own life a little.”
While another wrote, “Other parents aren’t living an idyllic life. Two year olds are tough. I put mine in childcare one day a week just to get a break. Lots of people go back to work just to spend time away from their toddler. They are hard work.”
Others implored the mum to seek professional help.
“You do need to speak to someone. Hating your toddler and being at rock bottom needs to be talked through with someone. It can’t continue like that.”
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