Never had to do this, thankfully. I did watch my sister struggle in this situation. The mother of her stepdaughter was very demanding

Make sure you really listen to your kids – they may have genuine grievances about how they’re treated by step siblings.

It’s a big adjustment for children. Give them time. Do fun things as a family. If there’s one parent with children & the new spouse without, there needs to be a lot more communication between the parent and new spouse. You need to be on the same page.

Do lots of fun activities at the beginning and make sure the step parent gets to know your child so they feel comfortable with the step parent.

I can’t even imagine what it’s like to do this as a parent. However, my step dad came into my life when I was 6 and 27 years later he’s still my step dad. I was young, but we were super lucky he is amazing!

Can be such a big adjustment

It has to be their home, their safe place, so bringing someone else in is a big step. Communication and outings/activities as a family are so important.

Must be so hard for the kids but hopefully with communication it all works out smoothly

I did not marry or even date until my sons had moved out and I was empty nesting. I had raised from 10 annd 12 years by myself with only every second weekend with their dad. I so busy and happy I did not consider I would ever want a new husband until I was coming home to a empty house. I married again the same year both my sons married and have been married 8 years now. So much more challenging the second time round.

Good advice! But it almost sounds like the child isn’t meeting the step parent until the wedding day! One would hope they have a chance to get to know each other prior to the marriage and can work on all of this over time

Such a great article. Am sure at times the parent is also in a new and different phase of life misses out on these points. Very good points to take care.

Family meetings and communication are key (as the kids get older).

I have always felt that if you have children then your children come first. You should never force a new partner on them and they should not be forced to live in the same house with a new partner unless they are happy to do so. its not fair as the child cant move out. When they are older and 18 then you can say well tough luck kid but my new partner is moving in and you have a choice to stay or find your own place.

Blended families are hard. I think both parties need to be on the same page. You need to actually follow through with what you say as children can see what is real or not.

I think communication is always important, not only with your spouse but also with the kids. There are not set rules and every child is different so understand their feelings is so important.

I’m in a blended family and it is definitely not as easy as they make it sound. We have done everything suggested and more and it was still to the point where it was ruining our relationship. Yes the child needs to have their emotions looked after but so do the new partners to a certain degree. When a child is forcing their war between the newly married at every single point of the day or night, this also needs to be addressed in a different way. I guess what I’m trying to say is, everyone’s feelings should be looked after not just one party.

Put your children first & make sure they can still talk to both parties anytime.

I am in a blended family arrangement where the parents of the children were never married but the father and I are. Our marriage has probably been the more stable thing in the kids lives. Its so frustrating for the kids having two sets of rules as one parents just won’t cooperate with the other, but in the end I believe they’ll see where they’re better of eventually.

Just be real. Kids can see through BS

So hard I wish this wasn’t case