I wonder how supportive he is of her and is she getting help with depression? If he is addressing this first then maybe he and his wife can set some reasonable goals and expectations, together for each of them.

Smells sellfish husband to me

If she has depression then he needs to help her. She might feel overwhelmed by her child that housework is the last thing on her mind. Sometimes I don’t do my housework but then my partner and I work together to get it done and not or blame in the other. I am a stay at home parent but he knows how much I do to entertain and care for our 2 active children

He needs to have a compassionate talk with his wife so that they can reach an agreement they are both happy with.

Everyone’s situation is different. I think he needs to ask her if she is okay and if there’s anything he can do to make it easier for her.
At the moment I’m looking after a teething toddler who isn’t sleeping well (which means I’m not either). she’s also going through the seperation anxiety stage so won’t leave me alone during the day. I clean when she naps (if I’m not catching up on sleep myself). I can’t imagine adding depression into that mix. It would be really hard 🙁

I like to keep the house clean but with kids we all get snowed under from time to time!

Iam a stay at home mum of 3 and my house is always spotless this is how I like it to be every day.

I am not going to lay judgment on someone I know nothing about however, my hubby would never ever say I did nothing all day – he knows how much I do!

I think we shouldn’t make judgements on anyone else’s situation as we probably never really know the whole story/background info or contextual info.

It is hard to say really, depression affects people in different ways. We have 8 children, including two under 2 and when my husband was working full-time I was keeping the home clean, looking after 2 babies, cooking, doing homework and school runs and full-time study…that being said I don’t have depression and I enjoy having a clean home. Without all the information, no one can say for certain what is actually going on. This is only one side of the story…as they say, there are 3 sides to every story: his, hers and the truth.

He said she eas messy from when they first met, that rarely changes so he knew what he was getting himself into. I feel for her having depression but I don’t think that makes you be messy, yes looking after a toddler is not the easiest but you should still have time to clean you can make it a game and have the toddler next to you. As far as I am concerned if you’re a stay at home mum there is no excuse. I worked TWO jobs and managed looking after 2 toddlers and my house was still clean

I’ve read this article before. I understand both sides. I’m a stay at home mum too and am not lazy, but yet the house is quickly messy after I clean up. For example half a hour after I mopped the floor it’s dirty again. My husband certainly helps a bit. He vacuums the floor in the evening (whilst I mop it in the early morning) and he helps with the evening dishes and the rubbish bin.

I’m a stay at home mum and my husband doesn’t help very much around the house or get up to the kids at night because he works. I’m on the fence about. I know he’s got to go out and make our living but if the kids are up 6 times a night, it would be nice if he got up once. I do as much as I can but sometimes the house is still chaos. You can only do what you can do but you should do your best to get it done!

Due to COVID-19, I am a working from home, home schooling (3 kids) and stay at home mum and I still manage to keep the house reasonably clean, but it is generally always tidy. I find I can not focus in mess and I find being around mess sends me into depression. Yes it is hard my I find, but it is as simple as doing a quick tidy up the room before you leave it. It makes the world of difference and the entire housework less daunting. My kids have been in the house a lot during this outbreak as our house is on a very steep block and one of my sons have pneumonia, so it has made it a little challenging, but my hubby keeps out of my way when I am on a cleaning spree and it makes life a little easier. Everyone has their own challenges though and the husband should not be judging her behaviour when he is not home. Having a young child at home with you is tough (mine a all at primary school now, but when younger my house was an absolute mess)

I’m a stay at home mum with depression, there are days I struggle but I always make sure I at least have the dishes done… I break up my house work on a planner through out the week so I know it’s done and My husband helps out when I’m struggling but I do majority of the house work. If one parent is a full time worker the other should 100% take on the house hold

I’m a SAHM and I do almost everything around the home as my hubby works long hours I must say it is nice though for once and a while I do like it when he does help, which isn’t very often.

She wasn’t clean from the beginning and she has depression, so no not lazy. I know its tough but discuss it with her and maybe discuss getting help for her depression. Judge less, love more.
I am the only one that cleans, because it has to be extremely bad for hubby to care. He is just as bad as the kids, so many little things. Each thing doesn’t take much effort but they all add up. It takes me a full morning just to tidy before an actual clean. Then add kids who love chaos.

Lucky i never had an issue with it.

Does she feel appreciated? Being a stay at home mum is no easy job. A talk before making comments like lazy might be more productive

My husband used to complain about the house. What was worse was I have chronic back pain and it was horrendous after the birth of my second child. Anyway, one day during the school holidays (he is a teacher) he spent an hour doing an angry clean of the house, he got 3 rooms spotless, only by the time he went back to the first room to relax and saw it was worse than before he cleaned it, he decided that maybe I do actually get stuff done! He helps out around the house now. Sweeping and vacuuming as they aggravate my bad back and separated pelvis, and hand washes the dishes (that aren’t dishwasher safe). He is also very hands on with the kids. I can’t complain and now neither does he! I’ve been through depression and I think this husband needs to be a little more understanding