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Article Husband Accuses Wife Of Being Lazy

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The husband says he works full time (he’s an essential worker) and believes his wife is lazy and doesn’t do enough around the house, especially as she is a stay at home mum.

A concerned husband has taken to popular parenting forum Mumsnet to ask if he is being unreasonable to call his stay at home wife lazy. The husband says that his wife, a mum of one, doesn’t do much housework during the day and he often comes home to chaos and mess.

Sharing The Load

The husband said that he is embarrassed by the state of their home and that his wife has become increasingly ‘lazy’ since she gave up work last year. And it’s become even worse now that she doesn’t leave the house because of the Coronavirus threat.

“There’s always a sink full of pots and they usually stay there until I do them,” he wrote. “She rarely hoovers or polishes or cleans the bathrooms. We get takeaways a lot so she doesn’t have to cook every day and even when she does it’s usually something very straightforward. We have someone do our ironing for us so she doesn’t even have to do that!”

The husband admitted that he doesn’t do much to help around the house but has taken on extra work and overtime to enable his wife to stay at home with their son.

“My wife has had depression since she was pregnant and it’s probably due to that that she’s not motivated but I feel like there’s always an excuse,” he said. “When we first met she lived alone and her house was a mess but I thought it was probably because she worked full time and didn’t have the time.”

Agree To Disagree

Comments on the post were divided with some saying that the mum definitely isn’t pulling her weight.

“Yes, she is lazy. No excuse for not doing housework or dishes from the night before,” wrote one forum user.

“I suffer from depression…but I still always make sure the house is clean and the kids are happy.”

“She’s been messy since you met her,” wrote another. “But when you have kids, you need to grow up and keep your house clean.”

Others, however, were more sympathetic about the mum’s situation. “She isn’t doing nothing. She is looking after a toddler!” one wrote. “Being unmotivated because of depression isn’t the same as being lazy,” another said.

We think this husband should probably consider his wife’s mental health and the home-isolation situation before calling her ‘lazy’ but we can also understand his frustration about the amount of mess he is coming home to each day.

This couple definitely need to have an honest conversation about whether their current arrangement is the best thing for both of them…

Do you think stay-at-home parents should be expected to do all the housework? Share your thoughts in the comments!

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Comments

  • Not all stay at home mums are the same and not all people’s circumstances are the same. There are those that do more work than others. This husband might be right, but complaining online is not going to help the situation at home.

    • He may be looking for advice but not worded the article as well as he could have.
      I know a wife/mother whose husband offered to help do the dishes at night but she always used a weak excuse e.g. she couldn’t be bothered. I had to get up early in the morning and complained bitterly if he did them in the morning before he went to work. She said the water running woke her up. She didn’t do them during the day. Her excuse was that every time she was going to do them their toddler woke up from her sleep and cried. At that stage she normally slept for 2 – 3 hours before she stirred and woke up a couple of minutes later. He also worked overtime – it was one of the conditions of his employment. When he was home at weekends he helped with most things, maintained their cars well and did all the gardening. She didn’t even water it. Quite often if he didn’t bath the children( they were too young to bath themselves) they would go a week between baths. It happened a few times when he was away during the week for work. On one occasion we bathed them on the Sunday night and the following Saturday night. One of them had a Mickey Mouse T-shirt. She still had that on (and it smelled – she was still in nappies too) and the older one still had the same knickers on (there was only one pair which were hand-me-downs and her Grandma has put new elastic in them and hand stitched the opening she had made). They definitely hadn’t been washed either (by the stiffness of them).

    Reply

  • If you are not working then you do have time to do the dishes etc instead of your husband doing it after working all day but she also has issues with depression so we don’t know the full content of the story.

    Reply

  • I’m a stay at home mum and I do about 95% of the housework and outside work. The 5% remaining is usually things I cannot do like cutting grass or maintenance on the house. I suffer from depression since 2015 after loosing my first born and now I have another two children and I manage to have the house tidy and as clean as possible, dinner on the table by 6pm and kids in bed by 8:30 every day. I don’t expect my husband to help but sometimes its nice when he does and I really appreciate it.

    Reply

  • Gosh very rude. When you have your hands full with kids i would like to see him try and do all the chores in a day. Gosh i wish I had an 8 hour job and took 45 minute uninterrupted breaks without kids nagging.

    Reply

  • Although he shouldn’t call her lazy, I see where the husband is coming from. It sounds like he’s already doing a lot of work.

    Reply

  • I am a stay-at-home mum and do all the work. I don’t mind at all. But there are moments for everybody when you feel blue and demotivated. Maybe the husband should address that problem before attacking her!

    • I agree – anyone with depression needs support and help.

    Reply

  • Well publicly shaming her won’t solve the problem!

    Reply

  • Any issue causing concern needs to be discussed and a couple need to be a team and support each other. Support for depression is a must too.

    Reply
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