Husband Checks Up On Wife Every Morning Using Baby Monitor

A new dad’s unusual morning routine, which includes calling his wife from work to wake her up after checking the baby monitor, has divided opinions.

The man says he works six days a week, and is gone for 12 hours a day, and his wife is a stay-at-home mum to their 20-month-old son.

He explained that their little boy has a great routine, which includes sleeping for 12 hours overnight, and that his son is still asleep by the time he leaves for work.

“I always check in on my son remotely via our nursery cam app and he’s always awake in the mornings around 8:00am,” the dad explained on reddit. “It’s usually after 9:00am before I have a chance to check the camera, this morning when I checked it was 9:12am and some mornings are closer to 10:00am. Every time I look though, he’s awake in the dark and standing in his crib just waiting.

“When I see this, I immediately turn on the brightest night light the camera has and speak to him through the camera app. I always tell him good morning and I love him and he usually laughs and says ‘Dada’. Then I leave the app, call my wife to wake her up.”

The dad claims he usually has to call his wife three or four times before she answers her phone and, “it’s obvious that she just woke up and only because I called. I tell her that our son is awake waiting for her and that she needs to get up to start their day.

“This morning while on the phone, I asked her if she was going to get him after using the bathroom and she said no, she was going to the kitchen to prepare their breakfast and THEN she’d get him. I asked her to get him after the bathroom so he could go to the kitchen with her and she flipped out.

“She told me it pisses her off that I call EVERY morning to tell her how to be a mum and that she has a routine.”

I retorted with, “Well, your routine sucks because he’s been awake for an hour and you’d still be asleep if I hadn’t called”.

“It just bothers me that he has to wait so long. He needs a diaper change, he’s probably thirsty, hungry and just wants to play. Am I wrong though? Do I need to stop?”

His questions prompted a divided response:

“I cannot imagine being a micromanaged mom like that, remotely. Wow. Is your son crying? No? Then he’s fine. If he’s uncomfortable, he will call for his mum,” one person commented.

However, others said it’s the mother who’s in the wrong.

“The kid is not going to cry if it’s been normalised that he needs to wait in his crib for 1 to 2 hours.”

“Totally agree with this. 1 to 2 hour wait is just sad. I hated reading this post. Your wife is a negligent mother.”

What do you think? Have your say in the comments below.

47 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 07 Nov 2024
    12:00 pm
This is a tricky one. As a Mum I would be angered if my partner was checking up on me like this but at the same time I would not have left my kids alone in their cots for hours. This child should not be alone in his cot for this length of time.

- - mom101628 said
  - 09 Jan 2023
    5:05 pm
I think it’s about time mum and dad have a check-up. The mother shouldn’t need all that much sleep and the father should not be monitoring and checking on his wife. This is one household that definitely needs to ‘Get a Life’.

- - charmanda29 said
  - 26 Dec 2022
    10:18 pm
Probably situation dependent but this should be a discussion they need to have together.

- - mom485263 said
  - 10 Dec 2022
    12:11 pm
I think there could be more to the story but we are only seeing one side of it. At least the baby isn’t crying that is the main thing first.

- - mom146810 said
  - 05 Dec 2022
    10:25 pm
The thing which I cant understand is that the father said their son sleeps for 12 hours which is a blessing because usually kids dont sleep that long continuously, so mum must have enough sleep as compared to those mums where bub hardly sleeps few hours and wakes up every 3-4 hours. He needs to ask his wife is everything ok, she feels like being detached with the bub and he needs to find the answer.

- - mom489452 said
  - 04 Dec 2022
    2:59 pm
So this is how they do it in America glad I don’t live there after Trump guns divorce and all the other stuff I keep thinking this is why Australia is the best

- - mom465794 said
  - 04 Dec 2022
    6:57 am
They need to sit down and talk

- - tessie said
  - 03 Dec 2022
    9:48 am
I don’t think he’s wrong but I do think that this Mum needs to see a doctor and explain that she’s tired all the time. There may be an underlying cause. What worries me is if their son decides to climb out of his cot and has a fall. I’m sure she would hate herself if something happened to him while she’d been asleep

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 03 Dec 2022
    7:35 am
There’s nothing wrong with a child waiting for a little extra time, but 1 to 2 hours is a lot and the time of day? Who gets to sleep until 10am as a mum? It’s not like she should be tired if he’s sleeping 12 hours either. Maybe she just needs to go to bed earlier…

- - mom265671 said
  - 02 Dec 2022
    10:12 pm
I wonder how old their child is. I understand sleep training but i think it also depends on the situation

- - cassy26 said
  - 02 Dec 2022
    9:56 am
I can’t even imagine leaving my youngest for this long but to be honest there’s no way she would allow it anyway. It makes me wonder how often he tried calling out before he just gave up? and if that’s the case it makes me really sad. Babies need to know that someone is there when they need them. Maybe the mum is suffering pnd? I don’t think the dad is in the wrong at all, but maybe the mum needs to see a doctor?

- - Mom466555 said
  - 02 Dec 2022
    6:08 am
They need to talk this out.

- - Cb727 said
  - 01 Dec 2022
    11:59 pm
It is hard to be a mum and a dad, and no judgement is important… but I think the need to communicate better their parenting expectations.

- - Dockerchic said
  - 01 Dec 2022
    9:38 pm
He’s definitely not in the wrong. He’s not checking on mum He’s checking on his baby!!! And sounds like it’s a good thing he does. 3 or 4 calls before she even wakes up!!!! She needs to get a health check and if there’s no underlying issue…it sounds like she needs to grow the hell up and think of her child!!!

- - RonnieDe said
  - 01 Dec 2022
    8:44 pm
Two sides to every story. Unfortunately, the toddler is in the middle. I would think if the toddler was hungry he would be crying and calling out for help.

- - BellaB said
  - 01 Dec 2022
    7:25 pm
This seems very controlling. I’m surprised so many people criticise the mum. I mean, we don’t know how often she was up at night or when she got to bed. I’m betting dad doesn’t help out.
- Ellen replied
  
  02 Dec 2022 , 8:23 am
  I agree, it’s a single sided story. Mum could have PND, low iron, hypothyroidism, isolated or sad, the story doesn’t tell…
- - CrystalG said
  - 01 Dec 2022
    1:57 pm
This breaks my heart! This dad is out there working to provide for his family and still needs to check in to ensure his babies needs are being met .. clearly they’re not. Baby had learnt that mum isn’t coming so to wait quietly. This is not okay at all! If mum does not change her ‘routine’ I would be sorting out alternative care for baby.

- - mom486400 said
  - 01 Dec 2022
    12:05 pm
His definitely not wrong!!! Something is obviously not ok with mum and she needs to see someone too. You can leave a child in bed for an hour or more!!!

- - mom110765 said
  - 01 Dec 2022
    11:49 am
are there any underlying health issues for Mum? What time is Dad getting home if gone for 12 hours a day, is the child responding to a voice machine and knowing a routine use to it, what would happen if Dad did not speak to him, would he cry out for Mum? so many unanswered questions.

- - rovermum said
  - 01 Dec 2022
    9:49 am
This is very creepy that the husband does this. And with a baby that sleeps for 12 hours (wow), I’m amazed that Mum sleeps passed that. But maybe all is not as it seems.