'I Didn't Want Kids At My Wedding, But Parents Brought Them Anyway'

A bride has detailed her frustrations, after wedding guests ignored her request for a child-free wedding, and brought their rowdy kids along anyway.

The woman said she and her husband made it clear to guests that there were to be no children at the wedding, as both sides of the family have lots of kids who would have blown out the guest-list.

“I mean, I have a cousin with eight kids and a lot of our family/friends have two to three kids,” she explained on reddit. “The kids are generally good, so the main issue was cost. Our venue charges age 2+ the same as adults, which is $250pp (including tax/tip). It would double the cost and our venue wasn’t big enough for all the kids.”

When the couple announced on their wedding website that they would be having a child-free wedding, they were met with ‘grief’, so they decided to compromise. They offered families the chance to either:

1. “Extend the dinner the night before to include kids, and the restaurant was very nice about having close to 100 kids.

2. “Hire five babysitters for 25-30 kids on the wedding night for locals who couldn’t find a babysitter last-minute and for guests who traveled with their kids. My in-laws offered their home less than 30 minutes away to host all the kids.”

‘Three couples still turned up with kids’

With those two offers on the table, the couple went along with their wedding planning until the big day arrived. And three couples still decided to show up the ceremony and reception with a total of nine children.

“My husband was more upset than I was because these folks were on his side. Groomsmen offered to drive the kids to the house, but they refused and made a scene. My husband was called to handle it and he said fine, as long as (a) the kids don’t cause trouble and (b) the parents pay the per head for the kids, they can stay. The staff even quickly threw together a kids table.

“I saw that unfolding and avoided it, and went about the day since it was a beautiful day and so much was happening. When the ceremony started, one kid started wailing and another skipped down the aisle in front of me. I played it cool, and the staff was on top of it. They escorted the mom and the two kids outside. The rest of the ceremony went smoothly.

“During the reception, the same two kids were screaming and throwing food. Other guests and staff were trying to get them to sit. At one point, one kid went under my dress, which was so weird. I didn’t notice and almost tripped. My bridesmaids pointed out that the food they threw got on my dress and that’s when I had enough. I gave my husband ‘the look’ and he rounded up the kids, brought them to the parents, and asked them to leave for good.”

After the wedding, the couple decided to send a bill to the three couples, with a letter explaining that they had a wonderful time with their guests, but reminding them they’d agreed to pay for their uninvited children.

“Two couples paid and were apologetic, and even said now they understood why we couldn’t include the kids. Of course, the couple with the two rowdy kids refused to pay because we asked them to leave before cake … seriously.

“Instead of apologising, we got a nasty call. All I said was they should be lucky I didn’t send the dry cleaning bill for the dress. My husband even said this concludes their friendship. This weekend, they wanted to visit and we said no thanks. They asked if we were still mad about them not paying and uh yeah, we are.”

The new bride now wants to know whether she’s being unreasonable by ending their friendship. What do you think? Let us know in the comments below.

49 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 17 Aug 2024
    8:33 am
If the invites clearly stated NO CHILDREN then im sorry but these people should have been asked to leave right at the start OR they needed to pay up front. The fact that they turned up when asked not to is proff that they dont care about the rules so you can guess that they most likely wouldnt pay after the event. It was very lucky that two couples paid up.

- - Dom's mum said
  - 03 Jul 2023
    10:51 pm
Weddings are a special moment for the couple, why ruin their day by doing exactly the opposite of what you’ve been told? I would have asked them to leave from the start.

- - mom492462 said
  - 06 Apr 2023
    6:42 pm
No the bride is not unreasonable
Your husband should of stuck to his no children policy and it wouldn’t of got this fair
If they can’t repect both of you on your big day then give them a big miss

- - Lovesthecuddles said
  - 31 Mar 2023
    10:21 pm
I think to bring them when asked not to is disrespectful

- - ozstarlett said
  - 05 Jun 2022
    3:36 pm
if its no kids then its no kids. they either leave with the kids or take up the options. there could be numerous reasons they didn’t wnat kids at the wedding and it should have been accepted if people rsvped to attend.

- - Zmijka86 said
  - 15 May 2022
    12:45 pm
I think its rude for turning up with the kids if the invitation says no kids..

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 09 Apr 2022
    10:24 pm
These sound like quite unhinged people.

- - mom461384 said
  - 09 Apr 2022
    11:56 am
I can understand. Weddings are expensive. They are also your special day and quite frankly all it can take is 1 child to dull that.

- - rachel1970 said
  - 05 Apr 2022
    6:22 pm
It’s very rude to not invite the kids but it’s happened to me, simple fix, I didn’t go to the wedding nor did I give them a present. I too can be rude!
- societyanxiety replied
  
  05 Apr 2022 , 8:47 pm
  I don’t think it’s rude at all. It’s their special day and they have the right to celebrate how they want. It’s petty if you to not attend a wedding because the couple don’t want to invite your kids. Anyway, you’re the one missing out! And they don’t have to pay for you, so I’m sure they don’t mind.
- - rovermum said
  - 04 Apr 2022
    2:02 pm
Wow! How rude to turn up with kids when told not to. This is a terrible situation. I understand why no kids and others need to understand too. This friendship is not worth it – it’s clearly not a good one.

- - mom103778 said
  - 04 Apr 2022
    8:38 am
My daughter is having kids at her wedding, as there are couples that just cannot find babysitters due to family living overseas and she would love them to attend. After reading this I hope they all behave. I cannot believe children over 2+ were the same price.

- - Julzie13 said
  - 03 Apr 2022
    9:06 am
Weddings are so expensive, and I can understand completely how upset the couple may get for guests bringing their children. Did the guests who brought children not rsvp? This is one day for the focus to be on the bride and groom to celebrate the start of their lives together – and if the children were not invited, then I can understand the frustration.

- - Sam said
  - 03 Apr 2022
    8:51 am
How can guests even have a good time at a wedding with their young kids? I feel for the bride and groom :/

- - TraceyGail said
  - 03 Apr 2022
    7:51 am
I think it’s sad that so many guests thought it was their right to bring their children.

- - mom486460 said
  - 02 Apr 2022
    12:39 pm
Invitations are just that….an invitation…. Not a right to attend. When anyone is invited to anything you accept the invitation as is, not impose your own conditions to it. This is especially true at places like weddings which have often involved long periods of meticulous planning, not to mention the cost. To impose your own wants over those extending the invitation is just rude

- - mom101628 said
  - 02 Apr 2022
    1:18 am
I don’t think the bride is being unreasonable at all – the rules were in the invitation plainly for all to see – the ‘guests’ were more than unreasonable – they were downright rude.
- Ellen replied
  
  03 Apr 2022 , 7:40 am
  Exactly, the gusts were the ones that were unreasonable !
- - Ordinary mum said
  - 02 Apr 2022
    12:27 am
I can’t comprehend how someone could be so rude as to bring kids when they were specifically told not to! We had no kids at our wedding other than my husbands nieces & nephew. The youngest was about 7. I think the adults enjoyed it more!

- - mom485263 said
  - 01 Apr 2022
    11:59 pm
The rudeness of some people is crazy! For my wedding we didn’t even have our OWN kids there (they were 5 and under). My kids were at the ceremony and for photos and then left with baby sitters so we could enjoy our night hassle free.

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 01 Apr 2022
    10:06 pm
Wow, that is extremely rude! It’s your day, you make the rules. If guests don’t like that, don’t come! I would be over the moon to have my kids babysat for free down the road and enjoy a kid free day. What is wrong with people?

- - Amanda Holland said
  - 01 Apr 2022
    9:33 pm
No she wasn’t unreasonable. That was so disrespectful of them to take the kids. I applaud the ones that apologised, but the others had no right to be angry