I’d say this is the final time this is discussed as I won’t be talking about it again as it’s now been discussed enough times. MILDRED, OR MILLIE is a no so we are moving on from that name, I need your support to name our child so can we focus on that and not your mother. Separate the 2 the babies name and mother.

I’m with the mum here. She should not have to name her child after the MIL, and the hubby should be understanding of this. They could always use the name as the kids second name. They do need to make a decision together but he needs to remember that the woman carries the child for 9 months going through so many stages and hormone changes and then has the pleasure of going through labour which can be so painful, so maybe just let the mother of the child have the final say.

I think they need to reach a compromise. She’s obviously holding a lot of hurt and anger and needs to let go- the woman is dead. Maybe they could go with just Millie. Mildred isn’t that nice a name.

So many lovely old names out there now that the kids don’t even realise what is old and what’s not.
name her Millie not Mildred or use it as a middle name but compromise is most likely the answer. Whether she like her or not, her son loved her and had a wonderful relationship.

Being a mum yourself, you know the bond between a parent and it’s child can be strong.
I love my mum no matter what
One of my foster kids we have in permanent care went through severe neglect, yet she will always hunker for the love of her biological parents and speak high of them.
Also do remember that your husband wouldn’t exist without his mother and it’s good to honor our parents.
For your husband it’s important to name your child after his mother; I would look into compromising; either Millie or a middle name after your MIL. Or maybe you would like to name your child after your mum too and you could combine both his mums and your mums name

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 24 May 2023 , 7:47 am

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  Btw, we never named our kids after our (late) parents. We can honor our parents is different ways

Babys name should be agreed on by both parents. Mildred is very outdated and I wouldn’t be too happy about calling my daughter that either but maybe compromise and name her millie? Or mila.

Naming a child is something to be agreed on by both parents. If you really don’t like the name, then don’t agree to it.

How annoying.
Seeing as you’re the one carrying the bub and going through the pain and you both can’t agree on a name then you should be able to pick.
I wouldn’t want to call my child that name either, especially if you were treated so badly by your MIL.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 23 May 2023 , 4:55 am

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  I agree!
  There is no way I would use a name of anyone that disrespected me.

Call her Millie anf tell her its in honour of her grandmother Mildred.
Kids will tease her gorgeous it.
My girl recently got glasses. My first thought was they looked like old lady glasses. My husband didn’t agree and thought she looked sweet (she does but not the point!), which is why he let her pick them. I said she would be teased. Again he didn’t agree. Last week she said she hates her glasses as the girls at school are teasing her and saying she has old lady glasses.

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  • • Forgetful Mumma replied
    • 22 May 2023 , 9:53 pm

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  Sounds like our MILs and their sons are cut from the same cloth! Mine actually said she wants to see me dead, in front of our children! Which is the only reason my husband believed it. Because the kids could back me up. It didn’t stop him from still calling his mum notr did her ask her to leave our house. Only difference is my MIL has been very vocal about all the things I do wrong (in my own house) and my husband always believes everything she says.

  Anyway 100% with you. Don’t name her mildred

Would a middle name be a good compromise?

Suggest to your husband that the both of you pick the babies first name and have Mildred for her middle name. Tell your husband that you want your child to have her own first name to be an individual. Then there would be no expectations on bub to live up to honour his mum.

I don’t like the name either but maybe compromise and use it as her middle name. If your husband doesn’t like that, he’ll seem to be stubborn and someone I wouldn’t want around if he doesn’t get his own way.

This should be a negotiation for use but your reasons are perfectly reasonable.Can you compromise and make it her middle name>

No one should have to tolerate or accept a name they do not like. It would be a hard no from me!

Unfortunately the child will likely be bullied for other reasons. Kids are so cruel these days. If the MIL was not a nice person to you, I wouldn’t want my child having her name either.

I think we should bring old names back! And she will be bullied for other things anyway. The problem here is that the mother doesnt like the name…. awkward

She will be bullied regardless, so that is not a reasonable excuse.
However, perhaps you can compromise and use it as a middle name?