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A complicated break-up and a secret child has left one man in a sticky situation years down the track, after he’d well and truly moved on with his life.

The 29-year-old says he was dating Jane a few years ago, until he caught her cheating with his friend and roommate, Ted. It caused them to break up, and the jilted man decided to move back to his home state and never speak to either Jane or Ted again.

He says most of their mutual friends overlooked the tryst, because Jane and Ted were in love and planned on marrying, so he decided it was best to cut off everyone from his former life and move on.

“Fast forward to now and I’m in a much better place with a high-paying salary and just proposed to my girlfriend, Ashley,” he explained on reddit. “Life was going great for me. I’m not a big social media user but I did make a post about my engagement and one of the few friends I kept from my past saw and passed the information along to Jane and Ted. Jane attempted to reach out to me but I blocked her without reading the message because I wanted nothing to do with her. I also told Ashley and she preemptively blocked her too.”

‘You have a son’

Child Support

But Jane wouldn’t let up – trying to contact her ex using fake profiles, which prompted him to delete his own accounts. But not before he made it clear to his ex that he wanted nothing to do with her. But Jane didn’t stop.

“In my mind there was no reason for us to communicate for any reason and I just wanted to live my life. Then Jane reached out to my sister Mandy and told her that I had a son. I thought Jane was full of it because it had been six months between me catching her cheating and me moving away before changing my number, and years between then and now. Plenty of time for Jane to realise that she was pregnant and contact me about it, or even come after me for child support.

“I thought she was making up some wild story to get me to talk to her so I got a lawyer to send her an official letter to leave me alone. Then the lawyer came back to me with pictures of a five-year-old boy who bore a resemblance to me. Turns out Jane was pregnant but her and Ted thought the baby was his because they didn’t always use condoms while I did and opted not to say anything. They got married and Ted is the legal father but when they tried to have more kids it turned out that Ted is sterile. Jane and Ted decided to just raise the kid as their own without ever saying a thing because Ted felt like he was less of a man for not being able to reproduce.

“It wasn’t until Jane came across my account and saw how nice my life was that she felt like her son deserved the financial benefits as well. Did a DNA test and I am the father, I agreed that child support was required and told Jane and Ted that I would have my lawyers send over details about payment and visitation. Ted was upset and refused to sign away his rights and doesn’t want me around ‘his son’.

“I promptly told him that if I’m going to pay child support then I’m entitled to all the legal rights that a father is entitled to and that they wouldn’t get a dime from me until then. If they refuse then I’ll just start a savings account for the kid until he’s an adult. Jane and Ted are calling me selfish but since it’s coming from them I’m taking it with grain of salt.”

What do you think he should do? Let us know in the comments below.

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  • I think the father is doing the right thing, offering child support and should have every right to have visitation rights to see his son.

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  • I know so many in this situation…

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  • Wow that is difficult situation. How about putting money on the account for the son to use when he will he old enough?

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  • Sucks but is in child’s best interest

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  • It sounds like Jane and Ted have only reached out now for the money side of it. I think he should let his lawyers know what he wants and let the lawyers sort it out for him. These are definitely people I wouldn’t want in my life. I hope everything gets sorted out for you.

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  • They survived this long without any financial input from the biological father so they can survive until the boy reaches out to his dad! What absolutely selfish people to keep the baby from his father and vice versa. I think the dad’s plan to start a savings fund for his son is probably the best solution here if they won’t allow him any rights. It’s not like he was in the wrong in any of this! I just hope that the future works out well for them! And that he gets to know his son before he hands over the money, because I can see the mum and step dad trying to manipulate the situation… they sound like the type of people who will tell the boy that his dad knew about him all along and refused to acknowledge him or pay any support.

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  • WOW! What a complicated situation. I feel for the real Dad who has been absolutely blindsided. And to the parents raising this little boy, how selfish. To have deprived this son of his Dad, and this Dad of his son, but to now want $ (which the real Dad has agreed to pay) without any of the benefits of being a Dad/parent. The real Dad seems to be such a decent human being who has been done over at every turn. I do hope he manages to work this out in the way that best suits him and his son. Saving $ for when is son is an adult, is a great idea; shows love and support. And one day, his son will know the full story.

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  • Oh dear, what a predicament. Jane and Ted seem like people you wouldn’t want in your life. I think this guy is trying to do the right thing and wants to do the right thing. But Jane and Ted just want him round for financial benefit.

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  • Such a difficult situation, and so personal

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  • Good on him for giving them terms and conditions. I would put the money into an account for him that only the big can touch once he’s 18

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  • wow I would just put it in a savings account for the kid and give it to him when he is old enough, how awkward for this little boy so far down the track to go from thinking Ted was his dad to finding out a complete stranger is -

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  • I respect that he’s willing to pay child support and be apart of the child’s life.. Both cheaters, absolute lowlives and to wait five years, disgusting!

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  • The father of the son is absolutely right, you can’t keep the cake and eat it too. He should ge t all the rights of a father if he will contribute financially.

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  • They can’t expect child support and refuse any parental contact in this situation.

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  • It is great to read that the biological father wants to step up and not only support financially, but also be a part of the child’s life. While this is not the outcome that Jane and Ted were hoping for I hope they can work through it for the child’s sake

    Reply

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