I can see his side she out of the blue contacts him telling him he had a son only after he posts his on his feet and then decide to contact to tell him so she can go for child support. He should of been told as soon as she found out it was his and not Teds, you can’t expect him not wanting to meet his son as the child would want to meet his dad later on.

Very tricky situation. You can’t ask someone to financially support you and not have them in your life. The dad was excluded for the first 5 years, and has rights too. People can be ridiculous!

Wow, those two sound like real pieces of work. They didn’t care and wanted to raise the kid as their own until they thought there might be something more in it for them. I don’t think he should have to pay child support. They are a couple and have admitted they can’t have anymore kids and were more than happy to provide on their own up to now. It’s simply not fair.

Surely Jane and Ted should have expected that by contacting the bio dad for financial assistance, they would also be expected to give the bio dad visitation with the child? If they were not prepared to give visitation, why contact the bio dad in the first place. Are they arrogant enough to think they can have everything their way? They are definitely not thinking of what is best for the child. I hope the bio dad fights for visitation and gets to know his son.

Things like this are always tricky.
Is funny how when an ex sees that their back then partner is doing well financially that they want a piece of the action and pop into the picture all of a sudden…

Sheeesshhhh.. poor guy!! Thats such a hard situation. I hope it works out best for him and the child. No sympathy for the mother though.

What a messy situation, I think it’s odd that it took the ex 5 years to come forward about the little boy and then it appears only as a way to gain financially rather than include the father in his life. I think the father is being quite reasonable considering the circumstances, sadly the child is always the one who loses out in these difficult scenarios.

He is absolutely very reasonable !

He is more than reasonable after she hid the child from him for 5 YEARS that poor boy. Time that they wont get back. You can’t expect a payout yet not offer him any visitation.

I actually think he’s being kind of reasonable. He’s not refusing to pay. He’s saying “either treat me as the father or not – I can’t be halfway”. It’s fair that if he’s paying he should be in his son’s life. And if they won’t allow him in his son’s life, putting the money aside for the child when he’s older is quite generous. I’m not normally a fan of men who won’t pay child support, but as this situation is described, it sounds fair.

I don’t think you can decide if you pay child support or not.

I would let that child know that he was so loved by his real dad, and not buy into the drama of his mother and step father. Children are so precious and he deserves to know his dad and spend time with him. I would be going through the courts to get a parenting plan in place and get some kind of contact going with that boy.

His ex wife is a terrible person for waiting until he had moved on with his life to announce that he had a child. He needed to be told right away. It will be a tricky time when you have contact with your ex – but just keep it civil and polite. Don’t let that child down!

I’ve seen children of a broken marriage suffer. One parent turning against the other. This is such a sensitive area, and I feel for the child. I know a family member, who his ex would not let him see his children, so he paid for their education, dental and put money aside for them. The children loved their dad for who he was. What ever choice is made, don’t drag the child into it. Not very impressive that they want your money, but you don’t get any parental rights.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 11 Feb 2022 , 8:35 am

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  Yes, I feel for the child !