It’s always hard when it’s heard through the grapevine.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 20 Jul 2024 , 6:07 am

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  The grapevine can be toxic and also sketchy with truth and facts.

Although my first instinct is to tell her… you have no real facts.

I would tell the friend that you have something delicate you need to tell her and explain that there are rumors going around which you figure are not true but you know if it was being said about you that you would want to know. And then I would tell her what you have been told. If she says its rubbish just agree with her and say its awful that people are saying such things. Let her deal with it in her own way and unless she brings it up again NEVER mention it.

Maybe get your husband to speak to the him and tell him there are rumours going around and the position it puts you both in. . As it has supposedly been broken off and your friend has said the rough patch is getting better, he may have woken up to himself.

As you have no concrete proof and your nail lady would definitely not get involved to either to find out more information or to speak to your friend, I would remain quiet

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 19 Jul 2024 , 7:40 am

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  Since you and your husband have been friends with them for 10 years, I would make sure you stay close and be there for them. Your friends has shared that she has been going through a bit of a rough patch with her husband but that things have been looking up recently and that they have two very young children….a lot is at stake

Hearing news through the grapevine is not proof and is tricky territory to navigate.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 20 Jul 2024 , 6:19 am

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  Yes, this phrase “heard it on the grapevine” or “heard it though the grapevine” is a nice way of saying that one heard the information by means of gossip and rumor.

I have been in your shoes before and I must tell you to say nothing. If the husband is cheating and you have no physical proof and they reconcile, you end up being the worst person in the world. I lost a dear friendship that I had for years by thinking I was doing the right thing for it all to turn around and blow up in my face. I was accused of causing trouble because the husband lied and she believed him. He’s still chain her with different women but I don’t see her at all now.

I would tell the friend. Then she has the option to go get herself screened for any diseases hubs could be exposing her to. She might not believe you, but at least you tried and will know you did your best to be an honest person in her life (which she unfortunately seems to be lacking).

I’ve been in this situation, except my friend’s husband told mine that he had been cheating. However that was the only “proof” I had (even though my friend had their suspicions). I told my friend as I thought it was the right thing to do. It completely ruined our friendship. I think without actual proof, it’s best to not say anything as it can do more harm than good. I’m sorry you are in this position, but ultimately you have to do what you feel is right.

A very tricky situation to be in. I’d definitely want to know but I’d want the person telling me to be 100% certain. When something similar happened to me once, I asked my friends to go up and say hello to my now ex. They never seen him so speechless. I do wish I was a fly on the wall to have seen his reaction when approached!

Always a sticky situation! Especially if there’s no concrete proof, the hubby might just deny it then the friend looks like the idiot. Better to just keep quiet as things eventually unfold anyway!

Difficult…. but as you aren’t certain of any facts, I think you should keep quiet.

As you don’t have proof that it is the friend you think it is, I would not be saying anything in case you are wrong and it ruins a relationship that sounds like it has gotten better. You need to have real facts before you accuse someone of something like this as it could also ruin your friendship with this lady.