Just say that you treated her as you did your own as nothing was specified. It all sounds fine to me, depending on age I suppose. I think the mother was rude to comment like this.

I had to read the woman’s note to you because I certainly couldn’t see what was wrong with what you did. Since you were left with no instructions, you treated her daughter like you did your own. For the little girl it probably felt like a sleepover she’d never been on before. Let the friend know that you because she didn’t leave any instructions, you just treated her like your own daughter. If I was given an empty lunch bag I’d assume I had to provide a packed lunch for her. I hope this Mum understands.

I don’t feed my kids chocolate spread for breakfast either, but I would not have said a word about that in this situation. I suspect the other mum might have been anxious and felt judged, but honestly I would just be grateful. The daughter was well looked after and small variations in habits aren’t a problem.

Oh my god I would be kissing your feet if you looked after my child like this!!! Especially at the last minute because of an emergency!! You are a kind and generous soul and have done nothing wrong. Tou have gone above and beyond. Tell your friend “sorry” and that you do not feel comfortable going forward, to ever look after her child again. It’s sad that the one who will miss out most is that child, who was cared for so well by you.

Sometimes you try and help your family and friends out but many a time there is no respect or gratitude for your help so that is now why I dont do it been there and been mistreated

I think Lottie’s mother is being extremely ungrateful. It’s not like the other mum was a stranger, she’s a friend doing her a huge favour! I would think that all the things done would be seen as kindnesses. It wouldn’t matter that the hair had been washed recently, she was just wanting to copy the other little girl. What’s the issue with 2 little girls sharing a bed?? Yeah, chocolate spread is not healthy, but it was a one off treat – come on! I don’t even know what to say about the lack of lunch provided – did she think she provided it, but forgot? She should be thankful her friend provided her daughter with food.

Seriously? The Mom who looked after her ‘friend’s’ child sounds like a saint and the Mom who left her child sounds like a spoiled idiot. If she wanted x,y,z, pay a professional, or get the other parent to agree to all your demands beforehand. I’d not be child sitting for that ungrateful mother again. Truly the definition of no good deed goes unpunished.

I get the being uncomfortable about the bathing thing. I’d be a little uncomfortable if my son went for a sleepover and they bathed him but then again my son wouldn’t be having a sleepover at his age. In an emergency I’m lucky enough to have family members to help out. But your friends child’s bathing can be explained. In regards to the friends other concerns it all sounds like she thinks she is being judged and will now have to do the extra things. Rest assured You did not overstep the mark.

It was favour because of an emergency and this is the “thanks” this mum gets? She did nothing wrong cause she was never told what she could do or give the girl she agreed to look after. The other mum is being ungrateful
Tbh, if I’m doing someone this kind of favour and I am given a list of absurd things they’re expecting me to do or follow. Sorry but you could just find somebody else to babysit for free

I’d just reply yes that’s all true is there any problems?

I think the problem could be the fact it was a text message which leaves it open to interpretation. Most responses seem similar that they’re quite defensive thinking the mum was being ungrateful. I think it could also be possibly the mum may have felt as though her parenting was judged. It’s not a common night in my house where my kids are bathed hair washed and brushed all goes smoothly and sandwiches cut into shapes maybe she was a bit defensive herself being stressed from the emergency at hand.
I think a response of answering the points yes she had her hair washed my girl was due and they both wanted it I didn’t think of it as a “needs to be done” thing as with brushing her hair after. I also assumed she would have lunch packed as there was a lunch box in her bag. As for the choc spread my girl asked and I thought it would be a nice treat. I didn’t mean to offend with any of this and just wanted your daughter to feel comfortable.

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  • • mom481907 replied
    • 21 Oct 2024 , 11:24 pm

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  Great response!

I certainly don’t think you overstepped on anything. I think your friend is very ungrateful and ungracious for sending you such a rude message. You helped her in her hour of need with no instructions. If these things really bothered her she should have left instructions before hand. You’re not wrong. She’s in the wrong for taking advantage and complaining about it. I wouldn’t even answer her back and in future I’d not get involved. As the saying goes “once bitten, twice shy. You’re a very kind person.

Feels like the other mum is having a tough time but she left her child in your care. You treated her as you do your children, incorporated another child into your routine and so everything was consistent as in your home.

If there were dos and donts provided prior to enlisting your help sure but it sounds like there wasn’t a list for you to go off.

I’d just be letting the mum know exactly as has been said here and let her know if there’s anything specific required in the future to let you know ahead of time. Otherwise, that’s how things are done in your home for the children in your care.

It should be viewed as a treat if you brushed the child’s hair for her and packed her a lunch and gave her something not usually eaten or provided at home.

I see no problem here.

You say “I-looked-after-a-friends-child-and-i-think-i-overstepped-the-mark”; in my opinion you didn’t. But after the sleepover your friend gave you the feelings that you overstepped the mark, it doesn’t mean that that is true. You helped your friend out out of the goodness of your heart and you gave your best. Your friend returns with a text full of comment on the way you handled things: she could have told you before if these things are so important to her. I really wouldn’t take it too personal and just reply with something like “okay, thanks for letting me know”

I think I would be letting the mother know that you were treating both the children the same way and that her daughter had asked for her hair to be done the same as your daughter’s. I would say I was sorry if the breakfast wasn’t what her daughter would usually have, but as your daughter wanted that then so did her child. I most certainly wouldn’t feel confused as you were doing the other mother a favour which you most probably will never do again!

I think maybe the other mum is feeling a bit worried about whether you were judging the way she looks after her girl. (I assume she’s probably pretty stressed right now.) So I would just talk to her and give her a pretty relaxed answer – for example, sure, I washed her hair because I was washing my daughter’s and so she asked to have hers done too.

I don’t think you’re wrong, you did her a favour she should just be grateful

I think the childs Mum is very rude.
If you are in desperate need and someone very kindly takes your child for you then while the child is in their care then it is their rules. If she doesnt like your kinfness then she needs to know not to leave her child with you again

Maybe the actual mother should have advised the mum who was looking after her daughter of the certain things she expects. I see there is nothing wrong with what she has provided and done for this little girl. Sounds like a fun sleep over on a school night whilst helping out a friend.

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  • • mom486197 replied
    • 18 Oct 2024 , 11:50 am

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  I agree with you, if the mum had some concerns she really should have raised this beforehand. The mum was trying to do the right thing and offer her some support by taking her child for her in a time of need. I think the mum is really wrong to have sent this message.

If she provided nothing
I don’t have a issue with bathing them and washing hair
As for chocolate spread I would allow this
I would if did the hair the same and top and tailed them
Wow wow
You have to feed if food and drink is not provided
Go mum