My Gran always told me to “start as you mean to go on” so if you are not prepared to put up with your Mum acting this way then good for you… you did the right thing. My Mum tried pulling something like that with my wedding. Shre insisted that I invite someone who I did not like to my wedding. i refused. She insisted so in the end I told her that she had a choice … either this person was at the wedding or I was but i would not be attending if they were there. It took my Uncle and Auntie phoning and saying they would not attend if this person was there either.

I think it was all big misunderstanding…

Sounds like it is about time someone stood up to the mother and stops her doing this sort of thing. Good on you for doing so – it might make future get-togethers a little less worrisome. I’ll keep my fingers crossed for you!

terrible to do that to her daughter the day of the shower.

What a controlling cow. To blatantly ignore her own daughter’s request is just disrespectful. If like the daughter says she has done this before makes me think that she needs to step back from her relationship with her and go no contact. Sounds like a very toxic person and the daughter has every right not to go to the baby shower.

She’s not an a$$hole, she’s just being assertive.

I understand how the mum to be feels. My MIL was like that, doesn’t listen to what you want just does what she like and you have to go with it and if you don’t, you are ungrateful. that’s why we have nothing to do with her. I don’t think the mum to be is an a-hole for standing up for herself. It’s the only why people will learn sometimes.

I don’t find that fair. It wasn’t a party that you were going to plan and was going to be planned for you. The mother should have listened and enjoyed the day herself

Should have had food done the day before, and compromised on one to two traditional dishes to keep her happy. I really feel sorry for the aunt here who organised the whole thing and for the guests who came to celebrate the mum to be and the pending arrival. Both seem a bit selfish in this instance

Ooh, talk about lack of boundaries. This was so rude and controlling of your Mum and clearly all about her, and not the least bit about you and your husband. Good on you. Sadly, I think she has shown her true colours of how things will be in the future.

I think the Mother sounds like a control freak. She I feel has completely ignored her daughters instructions and feelings as well. To me it a slap in the face .

Wow to think your mum and Aunt were going to give you and your husband a baby shower sounded fantastic. But to have you and your husband cook for it when it wasn’t you that suggested it is so, so very deceptive and downright manipulating. Your mum needed to be taught a lesson especially if she just does as she wants and not what the people around her want. No you are not an a****ole

That’s horrible- you should at least get what you want on your day. Mother needs to be respectful!

Mum seems toxic

Good on you for pulling the pin and standing your ground. This is your party not theirs. Having them help prepare is great but to take over and not do as you wish is a bit rough. I think I would have done the same.

Oh Mumma, no you are NOT an a**hole please don’t think that. It’s tricky with these kind of events and given the fact that traditional food would take to prepare ahead of time and you have every right to be livid, I would be too esp if she sprung her plan the morning of the event. Sometimes our Moms get into the event more than they should, when family and friends are invited it can quickly get out of hand and become overwhelming which by the sounds of your case, It was. What a stink position for your Mom to put you in.

Good for you. Your mother needs to respect your wishes. You are an adult and since you communicated this to her beforehand, she should respect your wishes. I would have pulled out too!

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 07 Sep 2022 , 5:12 am

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  The lack of respect is concerning. Respect is important and essential when children have grown into adults.

I think you did the right thing. Your Mum is too controlling and it’s not like you hadn’t told her you didn’t want anything expensive. You and your husband deserve to be spoilt on this day especially and not have to do a lot of cooking.

Sounds like the mother is used to ram-roading and getting her own way. Honestly if you cant have your wishes respected on this one day, when can you?
And as for expecting you both to get up and start cooking at 7am…. jeez!!!
what a world we live in….

It’s your day you should be able to do what you want!