I feel her pain and think that he should 100% pay what he legally has to pay and if he wishes certain things that should be written down in a legal contract. He can decide what he is happy to pay and thats all. His mother needs to take some of the load.

I think they should discuss it more and then make decisions. Stopping payment will not help…it will cause lots of conflict and stress.

I think there needs to be a clearer communication about what extras are paid for on top of the legal requirement. What is the ex-partner paying for? Is it even etc?

It always astounds me how unreasonable so many people are. Surely they can discuss this without causing all out war with each other. If not, maybe they need to look at their communication methods. Things will happen in their relationship where they need to hear each other and be able to work it out. They need to learn skills to be able to resolve this.

I agree that he needs to contribute to his son’s upbringing but what he is paying as extra is over the top. There is no way his ex should be demanding he pay for shopping, electricity and most of the gifts that she chooses. Especially now that she has a new partner and she is probably telling her son that his Dad doesn’t pay for anything. I can’t see him changing his mind but I hope it all works out in the end.

There needs to be a balance but I can imagine it’s going to cause some serious friction.

This is so hard. I mean, its great that your husband is being a wonderful father and honouring his commitment, but is making life with his live in family difficult. I really don’t know what is right and what is wrong on this one.

This is a tricky one and I don’t know if there’s any right answer. Every family situation is different.

Please don’t abuse me but I would like to see Australian Stories on here …this story is talking in pounds so what country is it from ..England?

And back to the story ..it’s a hard one …feel financial lawyers etc need to be called in but that just adds to the money problems.

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  • • mom462038 replied
    • 01 Dec 2021 , 7:37 pm

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  My thoughts too. Would love to see Al Australian content on this site

Perhaps she should make a comparative list of what they need to spend on their daughter. I mean, electricity for x box does seem extreme.

This is a hard one and I don’t really know how to comment???

It’s a hard situation to be in but as long as he’s contributing to both children equally that’s the most important thing.

I feel sorry for you as it’s very hard to get involved with someone who has a child or children from a previous relationship and yes he loves his child and wants to do the right thing but he’s is being very unfair to you and his child you have between you. I’m afraid his ex has the best of both worlds and is manipulating him into paying all the extras as well as child support if he is not careful he will loose you and his child you have and I would tell him that and see what he thinks as it is heading that way from my ex for our son who was very sporty and played sport all the time when one finished he was doing another so constantly taking him buying uniforms for it shoes etc and so I took him to the court for child support as he was paying nothing and he was on a reasonable wage and was living with a woman and three kids and she worked and they tried to say they have expenses I was renting and they were buying a house. The judge asked are those three children yours and your wife works full time and you and he said yes and the judge said and your son lives with your ex wife yes and he said then you have to support your son not those that their father should be paying child support for. Well that hit him fair and square and the look on both their faces was to die for took the wind out of their sails, and I was trying to get help with all his sport gear and the running around and the judge said well you have to pay for your son and looked at me and said he wouldn’t allow for the sport and gave the support order of $100 a month, I wasn’t happy that a week it sort of worked out so my advise is that your husband needs to wake up start to be fairer to you bugger that he is making you suffer and go without or having to cutdown lay it out on the table and don’t back down he has you and your child that comes first that he goes to the court and if it comes to it and he lets the judge know she works the boyfriends wage has nothing to do with him as it’s not his child. That he only pays the child support money and he buys his own present for the child and he starts looking after his commitments with your or he will loose you and his child. You have to shock him as he loves his child from you and his other child but he is paying too much to his ex as if it went to court her wage would come into it and he probably wouldn’t be paying what he does it would be less, so don’t put up with it and set things right now.

I thinknits awesome to find a dad that wants to pay more, to actually support his child. I know so many dads that are ordered to.pay $30 a month and often don’t pay that! I can see how it would be financially stressful for the new partner tho

It’s not something you can judge as you don’t know both sizes of the story, you also don’t know how involved the dad is in the child’s life.

I agree with other comments – maybe he is over compensating as he is feeling guilty. tough situation to be in – hope it all works out.

I think it is mis-placed guilt and that the ex partner is taking advantage of that. However you have to be careful how you broach the subject otherwise the defenses go up and you are at loggerheads rather than working together to find solutions… what is currently happening isnt fair to the daughter and is not sustainable financially. Realistically if you dont pull the pin and reassess the extras, when will it stop? It sounds stressful for all involved.

That’s not right. He has a duty to his other child and if he’s contributing so much to one the other inevitably will lose out.

Unfortunately I have seen so many women threaten their ex’s that if they don’t do everything they ask, they wont get to see the child. With that said, I have also seen plenty of fathers refusing to pay without the mothers taking legal action. We don’t know what is really going on in this situation but I really hope the extra money is being declared through the proper channels, or the father & his new family are also going to be paying income tax on money they don’t have, which will only increase their financial hardship.

Can’t really judge without both sides of the story. Does he do the same for both children? Is his ex doing it financially tough ?