'I Wasn't Invited To My Own Baby Shower'

A baby shower is all about ‘showering’ the expecting mum with love, gifts and well wishes before the birth of her baby – so imagine finding out your partner’s family hosted the event, and you weren’t invited.

A 31-year-old mum-to-be says she was excluded from her own baby shower, which was organised by her 30-year-old boyfriend’s family.

“His aunt decided to throw a baby shower for him,” she explained on reddit. “She said it would be a male’s version of a baby shower. Men only, but that was a lie.

“She invited his mother, her daughter (his cousin) and herself of course. She said I wasn’t allowed to come. If it was a ‘men only’ baby shower, then why were those women there? Also, that would only make sense if it were a bachelor party. I was carrying the baby and I wasn’t allowed to be there. All my boyfriend said to me that, ‘It was out of his control’.

“I feel like he should’ve stood up for me and said that it didn’t sound fair, that it should be a baby shower for the both of us. Every baby shower I had been to always had both parents.”

The expecting mum also claims her boyfriend didn’t even deserve a baby shower, after his behaviour during the pregnancy.

“I didn’t feel like he deserved a party looking like he’s father of the year, because he didn’t even show up to many of my baby appointments except for two of them. One being when we found out the gender. It was on my birthday, but he had to leave shortly after the appointment, because he was spending the day with his mum. ON MY BIRTHDAY.

“Another appointment he came to was a three hour glucose test, but he spent half that appointment on the phone with his mother. Also, he wasn’t there much for me during the pregnancy when I was throwing up or needed help lifting something. I had to do it mostly by myself. Again, we are together. Maybe this would make sense if we weren’t together. He tells me that the baby shower wasn’t out of spite. That it was supposed to be guys only, with the exception of his mother, aunt and the cousin. Yet, I’m the mother.

“My boyfriend told me about the shower two days before it was happening. I didn’t speak to him much for those two days. I said I was really upset and I canceled our plans to hangout. On the actual day I texted him saying: ‘Have fun at YOUR party’.”

Now that their baby has been born, the mum says she refuses to let the aunt meet their newborn.

So who is the a**hole here? Let us know in the comments below.

39 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 13 Sep 2024
    10:19 am
WOW….. Firstly….its not nice to use the baby as a weapon. Banning the Aunt from seeing the baby is just spiteful and very immature.
The baby shower thing is very odd and I agree that your partner should have said thanks but no thanks unless we can both attend.
You have many complaints about him and I doubt very much that your relationship is going to last unless there are big changes on both sides.

- - mom101628 said
  - 07 Nov 2022
    12:50 am
Somehow I cannot see this being a family for a long time. Too much seems wrong in the relationship to me.

- - ~Loui~ said
  - 31 Oct 2022
    10:04 am
This is really weird.

- - smart_ass said
  - 28 Oct 2022
    9:41 am
This is a strange one – never heard of a male baby shower? Not sure what the point would be?

- - Jessica said
  - 27 Oct 2022
    10:15 pm
What a pragmatically strange family! I agree with the mum here and wouldn’t let the aunt near the baby

- - mom485263 said
  - 24 Oct 2022
    9:52 pm
BF doesn’t sound very supportive and red flags all round.

- - mom486197 said
  - 23 Oct 2022
    10:13 pm
How cruel and unkind. Huge red flags that he didn’t stand up for you. How awful

- - mom303333 said
  - 22 Oct 2022
    11:30 pm
Gross. Red flags everywhere here!

- - BellaB said
  - 22 Oct 2022
    6:47 pm
This seems deliberately unkind and a bad sign for the future.

- - cassy26 said
  - 22 Oct 2022
    11:43 am
This makes me wonder about her family and where they are in all of this? Is she putting up with this because she doesn’t have anyone else? This is not ok… and her boyfriend should be on her side.

- - romvar said
  - 21 Oct 2022
    2:15 pm
This story is just weird. I’ve never heard of a men only baby shower for the father, which wasn’t men only as it turns out.

- - Lividanke said
  - 21 Oct 2022
    1:42 pm
This all sounds very strange to me.
The boyfriend needs to cut the strings with his Mum a little bit and remember that his girlfriend is the Mum of his child and he should have her back.
There’s no way I’d be letting the Aunt see the baby. No way!

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 21 Oct 2022
    7:33 am
That is extremely bizarre and rude not to invite the mother. It sounds like he needs to be more supportive of his wife and cut the apron strings.

- - mom486400 said
  - 20 Oct 2022
    8:29 pm
And guess who’s not getting invited to be part of the baby’s life…. I guess you all know.

- - tessie said
  - 20 Oct 2022
    11:52 am
If I was her I’d ignore his family and probably him as well. What happens next? I’d get as far away from all of them if I was you, including the so called boyfriend. Make a life for yourself and your baby where you can both be happy

- - ella12 said
  - 20 Oct 2022
    11:46 am
I agree that this is all very bizaare and incredibly disrespectful. I would my distance from his side of the family as much as possible.

- - mom103778 said
  - 20 Oct 2022
    10:44 am
I have never heard of such a thing. Why would his Aunt throw a baby shower. All very weird. I wouldn’t want any of the family coming to visit the baby after that.

- - rovermum said
  - 20 Oct 2022
    9:32 am
Wow! I’ve never heard of a baby shower for the male only OR a baby shower where the mum is not invited. Both a little bit strange and problematic. I see red flags over this already and I think she has every right to be concerned.

- - Ellen said
  - 20 Oct 2022
    8:51 am
I can understand this is hurtful and confusing.
- Ellen replied
  
  21 Oct 2022 , 8:58 am
  Possibly this happens the other way around too; I’ve attended baby showers where only the ladies were present
- - TraceyGail said
  - 20 Oct 2022
    7:47 am
This sounds a bit unbelievable. I can’t imagine anyone really putting up with this behaviour or going ahead with it.