Everyone says that it doesnt matter as long as its healthy.
I had 2 girls and longed for a boy. I went for a scan and they told me that they couldnt find any kidneys. I had to wait 2 long weeks to be rescanned. During those 2 weeks I prayed hard that bub would ahve kidneys and be ok. She did and I was thrilled when they told me bub was a girl with two kidneys

I was very upset when I find out that we will have a boy…it took me some time to accept that but now I have a the best son I could ever asked for.

You only have a 50/50 chance so you have to accept what you get. It’s a life long decision.

I can understand that, when you get a thought and a dream in your mind and then to realise that experience isn’t going to happen it would be a hard adjustment. There’s no real words to say to her that could help, I’d say once the baby boy is born and put into her arms she might think differently then.

They will probably end up having a great relationship. Of course they will play together. What is it about your time with your daughter that makes it so special for you? You will possibly find that it doesn’t have much to do with her gender at all. Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

Anyone that goes in to a pregnancy desperately wanting one sex is setting themselves up for a chance of disappointment

I first had a girl then a boy. They’re 12months and 3 weeks apart. They were the best buddies ever and played for years together; many precious memories. We’re just back from traveling oversees and at age 16 and 17 yr they shared a room together (they just changed in the bathroom or used a occupied sign on the bedroom door). Although I appreciate this mum being honest about her feelings, I would like to say; don’t worry too much, your boy will be a blessing !

If you can’t be happy with the possibility that you may have either gender, don’t get pregnant. I have a boy and a girl and they both play together just as well. There is no need to be upset, chances are your daughter will be just as excited for a brother.

Be kind to yourself But remember as long as it is Healthy when born that is all we need, and any childless couple would be over the moon take care

It is not unreasonable to feel this way – yes, it’s irrational, but a lot of feelings are, right? I think she’ll find it much easier in a month or two after the first feelings subside. Yes, they will play together and share toys. And she’ll love him so much when he’s born.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 24 Jan 2022 , 4:01 pm

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  Yes I agree, there is no right or wrong in having certain feelings and she admits she feels guilty and hates herself for it. Feelings can be very irrational indeed. When really struggles it might be good to seek help to talk about her feelings and give them a place.

Oh no! I would recommend this lovely mum calls on her mum friends for help. Sometimes other people help you get some perspective. A healthy baby is the best you can hope for. COVID, everyday stressors and anxiety would not be helping her worry. I know once the baby arrives she will see him and she will love him!

I have a boy and girl close in age and while they fight like cats and dogs at times ( as most siblings do) they are also the best of friends and are pretty much always together. A lot of the time people who don’t know any better think they’re twins.
Girls are amazing, and I love all mine to bits ( I have 3) but there’s something really special about a mother/son relationship as well. Little boys will always love their mummas. Honestly I know its difficult now and pregnancy hormones are making things so much worse but I guarantee you will look back once he’s born and know that things worked out perfectly and this is the best thing that could happen.

It’s completely OK to feel this way. Though I think talking to someone would help, however it’s harder to bond with a baby during pregnancy for a lot of women and they find they can bond once baby is born – this may be the case.
No mum should be too hard on herself for these feelings, there is disappointment all through life when it doesn’t meet expectations, but that doesn’t mean you’re not grateful for the wonderful gift of a baby and it just may take some time coming to terms with it.

I think you love your baby no matter what. When you meet him, you may feel very differently. Two girls may not necessarily live the fantasy of being close and friendly as you hope. A brother and sister may do that. I’d speak to someone though to make sure these feelings don’t get worse. I’m all for not knowing the gender so there’s no expectations created.

Please seek help because it’s not you thinking that and some sessions with a trained professional can help come to terms with this and prevent any worse feelings in the future. Don’t try to deal with it alone

I’d get onto some help because post natal depression can start this early, especially with gender disappointment. Good luck lovely

I was concerned at first with my second when i didnt get a boy, thinking it’d be nice to have 1 of each. But no regret, my two girls complete our family

My advice is to watch the video of the woman’s plea for the IVF Suspension to be Lifted.

There is absolutely nothing your daughter could do with a sister that she couldn’t do with a brother.
They can share a room for as long as they are comfortable doing so. They can share the same toys, friends, games.
If you don’t treat them differently, they can easily grow up as close as sisters. And honestly, there’s no guarantee two girls will get along.
Raising boys to be sensitive and “soft” is a good thing. Society and “boys will be boys” can be detrimental to raising boys who become kind men.

Paint their nail, play dress ups. Give them both sweet times and adventurous times. They world is your oyster and you’re only limited by your own mind.

I had a friend many years ago and she convinced herself she was having a girl. She was wrong and had a boy. It took her a long time to bond with her little boy which is sad. Being in 2 minds when you have all the hormones playing havoc while you are pregnant is understandable. Talk to your husband or your mum or even a good friend. and tell them how you feel. You might need to go see a doctor for some expert advice and care. Don’t be too hard on yourself. Your daughter will play with him and teach him things from her perspective so he will grow up with a better understanding of the female psyche and more than likely become a great dad. Think positively and good luck