My middle daughter had a boy 2 grades above her constantly picking on her when she was 6yrs old. The school were no help. In the end my eldest daughter stepped in and slammed the boy up against a tree and told him that if he ever touched her little sister again she would bash his head in. She was 2 grades above him. Two wrongs dont make a right but it worked and he never touched her again.

When your child is bullied you can feel so helpless. It is difficult to know what to do. I think it is a good idea to write a letter to the bullies parents.

A letter is better than a verbal confrontation because your words can’t be twisted and you can’t be accused of something you didn’t. From personal experience though, it is often a pointless exercise except for getting it all off your chest. The only thing that had any success with my sons bullies was to tell the school that if it didn’t stop I was going to involve the police as the bulling behaviour was also taking place off school grounds.

it is so tough, I would just ignore it

I’m not going to tell you what you should do but I’ll tell you what I would do. I like a paper trail. it’s something that can come in handy in case further action needs to needs to be taken. I would send the same letter to the parents, the teacher or all the teachers if the child has more than one, the head of the school, the education department and the local police and I’d advise, in the letter or email all parties a list of who I’ve sent the exact same letter to. I’d want said parents, teachers, school etc to know I mean business and I have the incident recorded in a paper trail. I’d also take photos of any injuries and take my child to a doctor to also have a record there.

This isn’t a route I would take as the bully wouldn’t consider it a reason to stop. Confronting the kid and their parents at the school with a teacher is more effective in my opinion

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  • • Mum2archer replied
    • 01 Jul 2020 , 10:17 pm

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  Agree with you here. Going through the proper steps is a better route

I’m not sure a letter to them would help the situation.

Try to go through the department of education for further advice to get the s school more on board

Such a terrible situation! I don’t really think a letter would do any good – you really need to talk to the school and they hopefully will follow through ….

My daughter goes to a private school and they have strict no bullying policy and I am really relieved and satisfied with that.

OMG, this could have been me. My son is now 19, but had a history of being bullied and picked on at school with no consequences. He was always frustrated at the lack of action and the handling of the school was apalling with so many holes in it. Yet, I was told my son was an instigator in situations that were laughable. In the end, we took our son out of the school. So bad was their approach to bullying, and supportive of those that bullied my son, I’ve had to spend my life teaching my son about consequences, behaviour, and empathy of others, which he has in spades. He’s an amazing human being. And those bullies, well… they’re still bullies. And that school, well it has an apalling reputation and I no longer have a nice word to say about it.

Half the time the parents know what their child is like but ignore it but as soon as their child cops a hit they are the first to complain. Writing letters is a waste of time and if teachers know what is going on and do nothing then you’re not going to get any where. Best bet is to find another school but sometimes it is hard on your child to change schools, I sent my son to a private school and it was worth the money to have a happy child.

I agree with what most have said here on this subject. It is hard to deal with and the ramifications if your children stay at that school are awful to think of. I feel your best bet is to move children to a different school if at all possible, and if it isn’t possible, I would think hard and long about what you are considering. It will feel right to you, but your children could suffer even more in the long run.

My son had a bully in kindy. The boy would go out of his way to look for my boy and constantly tell everyone my son is bad and he doesn’t play nicely etc. all whilst his mum ignored it, even though we were both there! My boy isn’t innocent, he was getting way to overwhelmed by the outside stimulation (and possibly this boy hounding him) and he lashed out. Despite it happening from fear, my boy was still reprimanded, both at school and at home, plus he always had to apologise. I witnessed the bully grab my son round the neck unprovoked…. the EA and relief teacher both acted as if my boy was at fault. The bully was then sent on his merry little way to his mum (it was end of the day school pick up), no apology given to my son. The EA just looked at me and said “we have to keep them separated”, and I could hear the boy telling his mum how naughty my boy is. When I brought it up with the class teacher she spoke to the EAs who denied having any knowledge of the incident, or the one earlier that day where the same boy had grabbed my son round the neck and tried pulling him off the swing. My husband wanted to encourage our boy to hit him to protect himself. But as my son had been pegged as the bad kid by the teacher we decided against it. In the end we pulled our son out of that school, due to the teacher’s attitude also. I home school him now, he is getting the mental stimulation he needs and his needs are being met in a safe environment. Next year my son will go to a different school, where they will recognise his intellect and also understand the difficulties he can have when he feels threatened. I hope the original poster’s kids bully gets reprimanded properly and if the school won’t do anything I would be calling the police, wanting assault charges laid!

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 28 Jun 2020 , 4:21 am

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  Sorry you guys went through this ! Home schooling and the choice of a different school next year sounds like a wise decision, I would have done the same.

It so hard. I don’t know how I would react to that, but I don’t think writing a letter is aggressive

Wouldn’t wanna be my kids especially in high school. If there big enough to throw a punch then there big enough to cope one straight back, bullys need to be put in there place.

If nothing is done at school, by telling the principal, to prevent this behaviour, go higher up. If still nothing is done go to the police & file a complaint. Don’t let your son lower his standards to be like the bully. Good luck.

I don’t think the parents would take any notice. They’ve probably already been told many times about their childs behaviour and by the sounds of it, don’t care. Take your children out of that school so they can go to school and feel safe

Bullying is not okay at all. Sorry to hear about your situation.

Sorry to hear about the violence against your children! It’s heartbreaking when bullying happens to your own child. I think it is up to the school to put in consequences and mediate between caregivers and escalate when required. I think they have a legal responsibility. A letter may help depending on the content but I don’t know if people really read them anymore.