Is there such a thing as a mummy crush?

Please tell me you know what I mean. There is always that one mum.

The one who is perfectly groomed, whose kids aren’t running away from them when the school bell goes but are instead embracing her lovingly and don’t have toothpaste marks on their school shirt they put on clean that morning.

The mum who looks effortlessly put together. Who isn’t wearing jeans that really should have been washed a few days ago as they have several different food stains on them and snot all over the knees from a toddler wiping their nose. I so want to be like her. I’m calling it a crush of sorts.

Each day when we walk to school, we pass our neighbour out on his morning walk. He says good morning with a knowing smile, mixed with an expression of empathy.

I know he has heard me yelling for my six year old to put on his school shirt for the tenth time. I know he has heard the epic meltdown my toddler has had over not being allowed to eat a snotty tissue. And I feel embarrassed. I don’t feel like the sort of mother I want to be.

So I make sure I leave the house looking somewhat together. My hair is blow dried and straightened, not just left to air dry and end up a frizzy mess, despite the hairdresser telling me it was WASH and WEAR! I don’t have time to straighten my hair.

I guarantee you; the minute I leave the kids downstairs to go up and straighten my hair, all hell breaks loose. It’s a constant run up and down the stairs to make sure no one is trying to bury someone in mega blocks, eat the remote control or antagonise each other, in between trying to get myself ready so I look more human than zombie. Some days I’ve had enough battles over breakfast, getting teeth brushed and bags packed, to make me think “stuff a beauty regime”, and rather have five minutes of happy kids.

It makes me think, “am I the only mother who feels like this”.

I guess everyone has their game face on in the school yard. Some mums though are genuinely gorgeous creatures and are openly honest with me about their lack of sleep too, or their kids having attitudes that would shock a teenager. But what about the others? I hope those that are struggling every now and then have someone they can vent to and ask “what the hell is going on?! Is it the moon/end of term/pollen/weird surge of hormones/something in the school’s drinking water?”

But back to the perfect mum I so want to be like. I don’t even have the guts to go up to her in the schoolyard, say hi and ask her what her secret is. Because I’m afraid there isn’t one. And if there isn’t one, then I’ll freak out and feel bad.

So for now I’ll just be the mum who smiles at her when walking past, but will keep my neuroses and tales of daily impressions of a banshee to myself.

Because if I don’t know that they can’t be fixed, then I’ll always have hope that I can one day be that perfect, put together mum.

Do you have a mummy crush? Share in the comments below.

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37 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 11 May 2022
    11:19 am
Nope. I never worried about what other Mums were doing. This is my life and my kids are my kids. They dont act the same as someone elses kids and im not going to act the same as someone else either. Im me….warts and all.

- - mom81879 said
  - 21 Nov 2015
    12:28 pm
No, I never compared me to them, any of them. I did what was needed to be done in my role as mum. I’m not perfect and I’m sure they’re not. They might look picture perfect at the school gate, but what about at hone behind closed doors? She could secretly be an alcoholic or have a drug or fa bling addiction. Who knows, so why judge, good or bad?

- - mom152736 said
  - 10 Aug 2015
    10:49 am
Thats a common feeling all of us have…but still teaming with my baby, I try and get him involved about combing hair n all….but but but….i havnt sen the toddler age yet :)…coming soon lol

- - mom113055 said
  - 30 Jul 2015
    3:29 pm
they are lookin so cute dont you think

- - tinakraja said
  - 28 Jul 2015
    11:25 pm
i do, its every mum who brushes her hair alone and looks like she walked out of a salon while i look like i was dragged through the bush outside the salon lol
I have one, its a mum who always looks like shes been to the gym, is fit and healthy and always smiling, i am the total opposite lol

- - dll2020 said
  - 03 Jul 2015
    1:24 pm
A great article!!! Its nice to make jokes of hardships and now feel so alone. Thank you for being so transparent!

- - mom107723 said
  - 01 Jul 2015
    10:41 pm
Lol, they may look perfect but i bet their houses are ransacked by the kids while they are ‘doing themselves’ up.

- - ruth1980 said
  - 30 Jun 2015
    10:27 pm
Who are those mummy’s trying to prove they have it all together for. Themselves or others?

- - christial said
  - 30 Jun 2015
    9:48 pm
Not at the moment. I may one day find a mummy crush though!

- - mom113055 said
  - 27 Jun 2015
    3:32 pm
it s nice and good

- - jodiev1980 said
  - 27 Jun 2015
    10:33 am
I definitely have been envious of other mums at times but I know that I shouldn’t be as we are all different.

- - mom113055 said
  - 23 Jun 2015
    4:15 pm
this is great so good exellent

- - deb_gs said
  - 21 Jun 2015
    1:03 am
I remember a hairdresser being incredulous that I didn’t have 5 minutes to spend of styling my hair every morning – clearly not a mother. I think that to achieve as a parent grooming, tidying, or DIY for example, the it has to be a hobby. Every time we introduce something else in our lives, we have to give up something. Something to fit it in. Maybe that mother gives up sleep,spare time or time with her children to achieve the look.

- - Lov'n'Life said
  - 17 Jun 2015
    4:50 pm
not really although there are always many well groomed mothers at school I think it is just their way of life to look after themselves before they fuss over their kids like most of us do. Or they get up at some ungodly hour to do hair and make up an find the perfect outfit

- - ella12 said
  - 17 Jun 2015
    4:20 pm
I don’t have a mummy crush. Just do the best you can.

- - crystalangela said
  - 16 Jun 2015
    8:15 pm
I bet if you visit her house you will find it the same as yours if you are unannounced. Perfect outside doesn’t mean perfect everywhere.

- - Claire Bailey said
  - 16 Jun 2015
    6:32 pm
I am constantly amazed by one of my son’s friends mums. She is mum to two young boys, in kinder and grade 1, the eldest is on the Autism spectrum, is trialling food restrictions and is having a really hard year, she works part time, is studying and had chronic fatigue syndrome a couple of years ago which she still has problems with on and off. On top of this she has lost 25Kg last year, always looks beautiful and most of all is a lovely, lovely person.

- - lepumpkinhead said
  - 16 Jun 2015
    3:03 pm
No mummy crushes really, no one in our school is that well put together. Some have asked me how I do it, but truth is I am just as stressed as you, I just look good cause I have a full time office job and have no choice.

- - Schmoofie1983 said
  - 16 Jun 2015
    12:34 pm
Great article! I’m not part of the school community yet, but I see these types around ☺ I’m sure I’ll get to know them soon enough!

- - mom70050 said
  - 16 Jun 2015
    11:23 am
Think we should be able to have whatever crush we want especially if it helps us get through the oft laborious routine of getting everyone ready and out the door at an respectable hour!