Me, Man. Me, Hunt. You, Woman... What's for Dinner

There are men and there are women. Two genders, right?

It’s a bit of a generalisation but while most cultures have these two genders, did you know there are some societies that have five or more?

So when it comes to the “me man, me hunt, you woman you look after the babies, do the washing, do the dishes, do the vacuuming, do the shopping blah blah blah” where do those genders fit in?

Is there one gender for doing those weird in between gender tasks like emptying the cat trays?

Who’s to blame for gender stereotypes? Because if you know, point me at them, they deserve a Jean Claude Van Damn round-house kick to the face.

From my observations, there seems to be a few schools of thought on the matter.

There’s the acceptance of these tasks that come with your gender, those that refuse and those that aren’t fussed. I am the latter. For me, minus the washing, the dishes, the vacuuming and all other domestic chores, looking after one or more babies is more than a full time job.

At least at work you get sick leave, annual leave and at least an hour or two to do no work at all and skive on Facebook.

I’m not saying for one minute that I won’t ever been doing any more domestic chores but relationships are also called partnerships for a reason.

If one person works away from the house and one person works in the house looking after the baby, domestic chores should be equally split down the middle.

That means the “where’s my dinner” argument is invalid.

If the baby hasn’t had a nap all day, you’ve been shit on twice, had Mormons to shoe away and the cat has vomited on the carpet, you may not have had time to prepare a steak dinner.

Having a new baby only seems to compound the gender stereotypes as it’s very often the woman who has to take time off from work to look after the Bub for a variety of reasons.

Perhaps you exclusively breast feed. Perhaps your partner earns better money so it makes better financial sense. Perhaps, even if you’re the one who earns more money, your partner doesn’t want to stay home.

Whatever your reasons, if the expectations are set early on, you may be in for an uphill battle where every day you’re fighting socks, dishes and resentment.

What do you think?

Do you think it’s fair the domestic chores should rest with the person who stays at home with the baby?

Are you happy to take on these additional responsibilities by yourself or do you split them with your Partner?

Does your partner do their share willingly?

51 Comments

- - ChiWren said
  - 02 Jan 2024
    8:25 pm
I’m a new mum, and a SATM, and most indoor chores have fallen on me. I don’t mind it, my husband works a very demanding job and has to do research projects while working full time. If I need help he will be there. It works for us

- - mom112217 said
  - 16 Jun 2018
    5:46 pm
We share the chores and it work’s for us!

- - mom81879 said
  - 29 Sep 2015
    8:06 pm
Even with both of us at work, the household chores still mainly falls on me. I don’t understand how that works

- - smiles said
  - 30 Apr 2015
    10:34 pm
I think they should help out as for most mums its 24/7 so even if it is a little tidy up here and there it helps us mums out.

- - storm7 said
  - 10 Apr 2015
    5:17 pm
Well me and hubby work together. And I still do all the cooking and cleaning. I enjoy the cooking but cleaning ….It would be nice to have some help on occasion.

- - fizgig said
  - 31 Jan 2015
    11:30 pm
My partner does not share the household chores at all. He makes every excuse under the sun not to do the housework.

- - mom57619 said
  - 28 Jan 2015
    9:15 pm
I just skipped the whole partner thing and had my children on my own.

- - Newmum21 said
  - 11 Jan 2015
    2:33 pm
I hate this stereotype, because even if the man goes to work to bring home the pay cheque and the woman stays home, she’s working too. I don’t believe that a woman should do everything for her husband either, just because he works. I have found that women who do this make there husbands lazy and I think that the men should help out more.
- mom94125 replied
  
  18 Oct 2015 , 4:20 pm
  no co-operate that is the way to stay happy and married
- - mom94125 said
  - 09 Jan 2015
    4:42 pm
much respect to the single mums that don’t even get to have a choice

- - matildaspice said
  - 07 Jan 2015
    11:48 pm
Being a single Mum you have to do it all yourself. Sometimes it gets overwhelming but you always feel proud of keeping it altogether.

- - mom57808 said
  - 05 Jan 2015
    8:14 am
ha ha still are ,en out there like this hey sad…..

- - june11 said
  - 21 Dec 2014
    1:27 am
I know a Dad who sometimes cooks the meals, loads and unloads the dishwasher, does some of the washing including putting it in the clothes dryer and getting it out when dry. He also sometimes sorts it but doesn’t have time to put all of it away. About the only thing he doesn’t do is the house cleaning very often. Both parents doing shift work and one parent trying to keep the younger one quiet while the other sleeps sometimes restricts some of the chores.

- - mom103936 said
  - 10 Dec 2014
    4:19 pm
I wish my husband would help..he does sometimes with the dishes but i would love him too cook sometimes. Its always me and we both work long hours.

- - christial said
  - 29 Nov 2014
    4:30 pm
My husband does the dishes which is a great help already.

- - smurf1309 said
  - 15 Nov 2014
    8:51 am
I don’t think the cleaning should lie solely with one person. I’m very lucky that my husband has completely taken over the cooking side of things.. I do the meal plans & shopping and a large proportion of the cleaning but I don’t have to worry about getting food on the table. He works full time & I work part time.

- - june11 said
  - 13 Oct 2014
    6:41 pm
I don’t get it from Dad, I get it from the kids aged 2 and 7.

- - tam_watters said
  - 08 Oct 2014
    9:24 pm
First baby on the way and I’m trying to subtly teach hubby now that a stay-at-home mum doesn’t necessarily have time to do each and every single housework duty. He’s very old fashioned in that way.Even when I worked full time I did most of the housework and it would be a special favour if he cooked once a week or did the dishes. Sigh.

- - mom94125 said
  - 05 Oct 2014
    12:03 am
ha this article is amusing! as long as everyone pitches in to help run the household then it should be smooth

- - mom56842 said
  - 30 Sep 2014
    11:14 pm
If I was a stay at home mum and hubby was out working full time I would not expect him to then share 50/50 house hold work with me, seems a tad unfair since we are in effect both working during the day. He wouldn’t expect me to to go to the office and do half his work. I would expect that on the weekend things are shared and of course ‘after hours’ so that we are roughly having the same amount of down time.

- - mom73211 said
  - 29 Sep 2014
    12:31 pm
Balance would be the key, but my partner works 12 hour days 4 days a week and is exhausted. Has no patience for the children, to help prepare a meal, or even bring in the washing is a huge ask. He’s the youngest of 6 yet doesn’t like to help around the house.