Mum appalled by neighbour's note referring to her child as "it"

Mum of autistic child was appalled after a neighbour complained about her “screechy, screaming child” and referred to her son as “it”.

Jessica Green, 27, of Berkley, Gloucestershire in England’s southwest, was sent an anonymous note complaining about her three-year-old son Henry playing in the garden, according to The Sun.

Henry is autistic and non-verbal.

He communicates through making noises and screeches.

The letter, which the mum of two posted to Facebook reads, “Can the parent responsibly (sic) for the screechy, screaming child, who screams continually while it is playing outside be advised that the rest of the residents in Fishers Road are sick to death of hearing your child scream continuously.

“It gets on everyone’s nerves and there is no need of it (sic).”

The letter goes on to call Ms Green and her partner, Josh Smith, 29, selfish for “allowing” Henry’s behaviour.

note

“People can no longer sit out in their garden to enjoy the weather because all we hear is your child shrieking from across the street,” it reads.

“We put up with it last year, all through the summer and hoped your child would have grown out of screaming but it seems not, as it still does it all day every day and louder and shriller than before.

“Please take this as it is intended and act before we have to report you to Tenant Services and Social Services.”

Ms Green, who is a full-time carer for Henry, said the note is appalling.

“They should have common courtesy to ask if the child’s OK and I’m sure it is just the thoughts of one individual because other neighbours have come to my defence,” she said.

“I want to make people aware of autism – they were too quick to make a judgement.”

The 27-year-old said despite the note, she still lives in a “lovely area” and a “nice community”.

“In this situation you’d like to think the neighbour would come and address you personally,” she said.

These stories make me so angry! How dare another person judge a family like this, what is wrong with this world?

Share your comments below

17 Comments

- - shilto02 said
  - 05 Sep 2017
    4:55 pm
How awful for the poor Mum. Unfortunately it sounds like the Neighbour is just a bit naive and ignorant. All kids can be loud when playing outside and that’s just part of life but hopefully if they were aware of this little boy’s condition they might be a bit more understanding (you would hope anyway!).

- - mom94125 said
  - 01 Sep 2017
    4:06 pm
Maybe the rude neighbour could just move away to the country where there are no other neighbours! that would be so hard to get a letter that rude and not know how to address the situation

- - ella12 said
  - 28 Aug 2017
    4:09 pm
How totally disrespectful of the neighbour and ignorant.

- - mom90758 said
  - 28 Aug 2017
    12:50 pm
I’m glad I don’t have such a neighbour. Really rude to send such a letter and to address the child that way!!

- - rovermum said
  - 28 Aug 2017
    10:02 am
OMG, this is terrible. It is a reflection of society and how we’re not neighbourly anymore. We sit inside our houses, which we enter via our garages, not our front doors, and we’re no longer friendly, interested or engaged in our neighbours lives. Sad.
- mom93821 replied
  
  29 Aug 2017 , 4:33 am
  I agree that people should be more engaged with their neighbours and communities. Neighbours should support each other. It does not mean that they always agree but are their to listen, help and to get on in a community.
  - mom93821 replied
    
    29 Aug 2017 , 4:34 am
    
    Oops should read there and not their – spell error. 🙁
- - mom93821 said
  - 28 Aug 2017
    6:27 am
They all need to come to some sort of peace and live in harmony. If the neighbours are unaware of Autism this is an opportunity for them to learn about it. Sometimes people can surprise you once they have knowledge of a situation and can actually become understanding and even supportive. However, it would be upsetting to receive a letter – I do not like letters as there is always the likelihood of misunderstandings. It is always better to try and talk about issues face to face – it can be initially tougher – but usually better outcomes.

- - mom64736 said
  - 27 Aug 2017
    6:52 pm
I can understand the reasoning behind the letter. I’m not sure it was being used to be inflammatory here because they may not want to be assuming gender. Also one It is referring to the behaviour (that sounds unbearable to deal with) lnot the child itself. I would also like to point out, as a parent with a child with SNs, that it isn’t fair to expect everyone to just put up with intrusive behaviours.

- - mom160421 said
  - 27 Aug 2017
    2:06 pm
I can understand the frustration that comes with living next to a noisy neighbour. Unfortunately there isn’t much that can be done.

- - mom156049 said
  - 26 Aug 2017
    11:00 pm
I can Understand why this would be upsetting for the family especially the wording. It also would be frustrating for.neighbours hearing screeching and not understanding the child has a disability

- - tessie said
  - 26 Aug 2017
    1:12 pm
This would have been so upsetting for the mother to receive. It’s not the boys fault he is this way. I bet he is a very loving and thoughtful son. If anyone should move it should be the woman who complained in the first place.

- - Ellen said
  - 26 Aug 2017
    8:45 am
How distressing to receive such letter !
So sad that there is such little tolerance towards and interest in each other. The world would be such better place if we could reach out to each other instead.
Glad that some neighbours have come to their defense !

- - mom206279 said
  - 26 Aug 2017
    7:42 am
I know after a note like that I’d make outside play a priority every chance I got. Probably even invite a few noisy friends around. If you don’t like living near noisy kids you probably better be prepared to go be a hermit somewhere.

- - mom101628 said
  - 25 Aug 2017
    10:49 pm
When children are around in your street, you expect to hear yelling and screaming. Autism is a hard thing to live with for all concerned, but this note writer should be stopped.

- - nealsq said
  - 25 Aug 2017
    1:15 pm
If you live near any children, autistic or not, you expect to hear yelling and screaming, sometimes it is even from the child 🙂 Don’t like it and too chicken to approach the family and have a chat, get up off your bum and move, preferably into the middle of nowhere you selfish judgmental jerks

- - june11 said
  - 25 Aug 2017
    12:57 pm
Not being aware of the situation the neighbours may think that you are abusing your son.
I would be tempted to write a note and put it in each letterbox (state in it that you don’t know who it was) and explain your son’s condition and put that it would have been polite to sign the note. if you are prepared to, perhaps offer to discuss the matter with them personally.
They may also think he is just yelling for the sake of it. It may be distressing him/her/them.