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A mum has been blasted by other parents for revealing that she listened in on her daughter’s first phone call to a boy.

Ashley Ballezzi shared a video on Instagram, captioned, “How I am handling my 5th grader talking on the phone to a boy that’s just a friend for the first time”. The video shows Ashley listening in on the conversation at her daughter’s bedroom door.

The mum elaborated on the video in her caption, saying she was feeling all sorts of emotions.

“As you see, I’m listening and being nosey. But really, they were just playing an online game together while talking on the phone.

“We encourage friendship and just friendship. I want to ensure she has a safe space and can feel open with us no matter what the topic or situation is.

“We agreed to keep the length time on the phone to 30 minutes while we monitor it the whole time.”

“It also helps that there is only two 5th grade classes at her school and because I volunteer, I am able to get to know the kids more than most parents do. I guess we better buckle up, many more new things are coming our way.”

She then prompted her followers to comment how they would react if this was their child. And the criticism came flooding in.

‘“Limited to 30 minutes that are monitored the whole time”… girlie pop are you running a prison or do you actually think this is effective parenting?’ replied one follower.

“Why are you filming an innocent moment she’s trying to have with a friend and framing it as possible romance? Maybe you should genuinely consider WHY so many people disagree with you.”

“This is so fcking weird. If my mum did this I’d never call anyone in the house again. This is not how you build trust.”

Other parents, however, agreed with Ashley’s approach.

“The child is 10 years old ish she can snoop all she wants. I personally wouldn’t even let her sit in another room behind closed doors on the phone with a boy. She’s an elementary kid not a high school kid she needs to be supervised. It’s not a privacy invasion at this age.”

So, what do you think? Let us know in the comments below. 

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  • I do not see anything wrong at all with listening in on my daughters conversation or my sons for that matter. Not the whole thing but just wandering past every so often, sometimes quietly and sometimes loudly. I trust my children BUT and this is a big BUT our underage, vulnerable, impressionable children are OUR responsibility to keep safe. Who cares what some indignant stranger on Instagram has to say! As many responsible parents who have had kids go off the rails a little will tell you, if only they had paid a bit more attention, or monitored their child a bit more. Of course it’s important to not let you children know they are being monitored. Keep on listening I say!

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  • Considering this phone call was agreed between the two, mother and daughter, to be only 30 minutes long and to be monitored the whole time, why didn’t the phone call take place in the lounge or rumpus room in full view and hearing of the parent? The child knew she would be listed to on the phone, so why not make it a more normal thing. It isn’t so long ago that we had one communal phone and everybody had the opportunity to listen or not to your conversation, and prior to that we had party lines, where everyone in the district could listen to your call. I do think that these days we give far too much responsibility to children who cannot handle it and make them grow up too fast because of it.

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  • I think until they are at least teenagers, if they are on the phone to any sort of friend, they should be out in a common place in the house, not locked in their room. Once they turn 13 – 14 then give them a bit more privacy, but at the age of around 10 they need to be supervised, especially these days.

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  • This would be me doing this hahaha as well if the age was a little older then ok but only 10 and with a mobile phone already yeah nope

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  • I grew up before mobile phones and as our phone was in the hall there was no way of having a private conservation cause everyone in the house could hear you. That being said I understand a parent wanting to keep their kids safe and if its just two 10 year olds talking I don’t think that’s much of an issue. Its just click bait for her to get attention and likes, I really don’t think any parent should use their kids in this way for their own gratification.

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  • I’d feel so uncomfortable being listened to! There has to be a level of trust if youre letting her be on the phone in the first place

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  • That is such an invasion of her child’s privacy and so inappropriate. This mother should be mindful of the impact this will have on her relationship with her child going forward and into adulthood. It would be terrible to think the child doesn’t trust their mother enough to share important information with her.

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  • Really? People are upset at this? Who hasn’t listened in to others conversations

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  • I think there is nothing wrong with listening in to her phone calls, after all, she is still only in Primary School.

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  • It would depend on if you trust your daughter to come to you if she isn’t sure about something that’s being talked about. I would sometimes listen to my boys talking to their friends but mainly listening for any changes in their voices.

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  • There is nothing wrong with this. Children have too much access to adult topics on the internet, and she needs to protect her daughter from witnessing something she should not. She is the mother, not a ten year old, and it is her job to protect the child until she is old enough to protect herself.

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  • I don’t see a problem with checking up on your child making sure they are safe should be a parents priority anyway, however there’s no need to post this online.

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  • If it was previously agreed that the phone call was to be 30 minutes long and monitored the whole time why is the door even closed? The kid is probably only 10ish anyway so there’s a pretty good chance they have nothing to hide. I do believe in honouring my child’s trust though so I’d never snoop if I’d promised not too. Honesty is always the best policy


    • Yes I agree, trust is so important. Your child needs your trust to help them in their transition through to adulthood. However, this trust needs to be mutual. You and your child need to meet in the middle and develop a healthy way to trust in each other and each of your decisions. The more this mutual trust is tested, the longer it will take to get to a place where you are both confident you can trust each other. A relationship without trust leads to second-guessing and questioning each other’s honesty.

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  • I don’t have a problem with the listening as a way of knowing who your child is interacting with, but I do think that filming it and putting it online is wrong, wrong, wrong.

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  • Guilty! I have eavesdropper on phone conversations as well as general conversations. I dont think it does any harm and I doubt there’s many who haven’t done it

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  • I would certainly listen in on a conversation between my young daughter and a so called friend which is namely a boy. I will take an interest on all things that my daughter becomes involved in and with whom, to protect her safety and keep her away from crazy lunatics out in our world today.

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  • And I think that if you absolutely must listen – which I rarely advocate – you really shouldn’t be filming it and then putting it up online. That’s an even bigger violation of her daughter’s privacy, and you can be sure that sooner or later she’ll find out about it. And resent it.

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  • You are a parent and you take control of your child that’s what parents are meant to do .These fools who say don’t listen to her phone call have not had drugs or crime in their family yet alone an unexpected pregnancy .Wake up we live in a world where phones really do change lives .My kids had rights the right to remain silent and they all have done well .

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  • I totally agree with all the criticism that came in about this. It is so wrong to be listening let alone filming it and putting it up online. The daughter will see this or hear about this at some stage and all trust is lost. A very immature way to treat her privacy.

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  • I can understand the sentiment. I have a daughter who lies and steals, so I don’t trust her an awful lot at all. Our daughter is limited with who she is allowed to have as a contact, etc. It is a little creepy sounding listening at the door – maybe have an open door and don’t listen the whole time?

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