I think that with her reaction the mum is reinforcing her child who has been sobbing for 2 days in her bedroom and left heartbroken…This is a teaching moment. Teach your child resilience and that this is a realty, she won’t be invited by everyone and she may not even be liked by everyone and that’s okay.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 30 Nov 2024 , 8:08 am

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  This being said my youngest who has Down syndrome and severe ADHD was never invited at a BD party of a classmate yet. She turned 11 this year and I decided to invite the whole class (27 children) to her BD party at Bounce. Count it out, very expensive. Luckily not all came, but 17 children attended and there were quite some who were never invited either (bless their wee hearts). I can tell you they had a blast. Won’t do it every year though (too expensive).

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    • • Ellen replied
      • 30 Nov 2024 , 8:11 am

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    You don’t have aanything to say about the choices other people make in this. But it’s perfectly fine to look to what is possible for yourself and make your own choices in regards to this.
    For example my neighbour used to give her children a small birthday present from about $10 (that’s right, not more), but would throw a big birthday party for her kids and have them invite the friends they wanted

When our children had their first class party, they invited the whole class. We either had it at McDonalds or Hungry Jacks (I cant remember which) to keep the cost down. Their next birthday party they were only allowed to invite a certain amount of kids, but it definitely wouldn’t have been the whole class except for two. That does seem a little cruel. As an adult turning 50, I only wanted to invite one of my aunties, I was told that it would cause issues and resentment, so I invited none of them. I guess that comes with maturity and yes I still get advice from my mother. A child has every right to invite who they want to their party but perhaps this particular parent could have explained that excluding only two children from the class is hurtful.

I don’t agree with this woman. It’s not good that the little girl is upset about not being invited but there’s obviously a reason behind it. Your little girl and the little girl who is having a party either aren’t friends, one is bullying the other, or the parents have an issue with you.
You have absolutely no idea what goes on when you’re not around.
My child doesn’t get upset if she doesn’t get invited to a party but that might have to do with me not letting her always get what she wants and actually explaining why she can’t have everything.

I’m afraid I have to disagree! I get being upset for your daughter but the child can invite whoever they want it’s their party & you shouldn’t force them to invite everyone.

It’s up to you as a parent to teach your children they can’t always be invited and not to get upset! I have 2 daughters and they have both been on the receiving end of not being invited but also being invited when others weren’t & they learned lessons from both scenarios.

That is so sad her daughter was so upset.
But it is for sure a teaching moment !

Life isn’t always peachy when we were kids the whole class was not a thing and it’s even more unattainable now not only that it’s is unreasonable too!

There is no way I am paying for children my daughters do not like, don’t have a connection with to attend a party. Whether that be 1 kid or 10.

She did her party list this year and invited half her class I told her to be respectful and not speak of it around others who were not invited. But they are kids it is what it is.
You simply can not spend your whole life walking on egg shells and ensuring other peoples feelings aren’t hurt. You can’t prevent how someone else will feel or what offends them.
You can only do you best be kind as you can and live your life and teach your children reason and emotional maturity / regulation !

If you’re child isn’t invited it’s a great opportunity to teach your child that sometimes they won’t be invited to some things, there maybe some form of bullying happening

It’s the child’s birthday and they have the right to invite who they want. This Mum should explain to her daughter that not everyone gets invited when it’s a sleepover. If her daughter was to go and there was a fight, who would she blame? Possibly the birthday girl for inviting someone her own daughter doesn’t like.

I think that with her reaction the mum is reinforcing her child who has been sobbing for 2 days in her bedroom and left heartbroken…

I might be in the wrong but I think a child has the right to invite who they want to their party. My kids didn’t have parties just because I hated the whole technicality of it all. Instead we did something extra special for our kids such a a nice dinner with the family and going to the theatre.

I have to disagree here maybe that child does not like this child I’m not going to force my kid to invite someone they don’t want too and if the child is up set I’m guessing the mum possibly might be enabling this life lessons unfortunately it isn’t nice but that’s where you teach your child it’s ok and you go do something fun with them

I’m sure it’s hard when it’s a small school but this is life I’m afraid. I hope no one is being bullied here, on either side.

Her intentions are good but you can’t expect other parents to carry the same opinion.

An example of sleeping on something when emotional… before posting to the world

You can’t invite everyone. It’s just too much financially and the kids will only want to invite the friends they play with most

Whatever your opinion, there are lessons to be learnt about kindness and not having blanket rules to invite all or no one.
I m a solo parent to autistic twins. One has adhd too , and while his twin gets invited to a few parties, the one with adhd doesnt. However, as I cant divide myself in half, neither go to any parties. We’re also quite financially challenged which means large party celebrations just arent on the list. It’s a life lesson, Im afraid, but one worth learning. Dont sweat the little stuff, but dont encourage unfairness either way.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 15 Sep 2024 , 8:25 am

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  I know what you mean. My 10 yr old who has Down Syndrome and ADHD has never been invited for a BD party of a class mate either…

People just have to accept the fact that they may not be invited to parties. It’s not the end of the world. Everyone’s entitled to invite who they want.

To this mum I would say; since only your daughter and one other girl weren’t invited to a party, I would invite that girl over and throw a special party or pampering for the 2 of them.
You can not force others to invite you, it’s not a matter of right or wrong, just accept it and teach your child to accept it

My youngest (who has Down syndrome, severe cognitive and verbal delay and ADHD, 10yrs old) has never been invited for a birthday party of a class mate, nor has she ever been invited for a playdate with a class mate.
I would love to throw a party inviting all classmates, however there are 27 of them ! My daughter is very inclusive herself and the kids in her class have been wonderful to her

No parents should invite the whole class – the children have special friends and they are the only ones who should be invited.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 13 Sep 2024 , 5:16 am

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  I agree; children should not be forced to invite others.

What a ridiculous demand. Especially for schools with much bigger classes.