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A mum has ignited debate after calling out parents for not inviting entire classes to birthday parties, so that no child is left out.

Amber took to social media, saying she’s angry that only her daughter and one other girl weren’t invited to a party.

“So this is not okay,” she vented. “If your kid is going to have a birthday party or a sleepover, in my opinion, you invite the whole class. If you can’t afford to invite the whole class, and you don’t, don’t invite no-one.”

Amber’s 10-year-old daughter attends a small school which only has 15 students in her whole year level.

“My daughter’s been in her bedroom for two days sobbing. She’s literally heartbroken. All her friends are at this sleepover, and her and one other girl isn’t. I’m sorry, in my opinion, that is not okay.”

@journey.of.ambz.1 My poor little girl is so upset tonight that i had to post this, #mumlife #mumsbelike #mumssupportingmums ♬ original sound – journey.of.ambz.1

Amber says it’s up to parents to make sure none of the children are left out.

“If you’re a parent that does that, you need to stop. It is horrible. I’ve literally had to witness little girl so so upset, wondering what she’s doing wrong. This is the parent’s responsibility. It’s not up to the children.

“If the children say, ‘but I don’t want her to come’, you have a word of your kids, you say, ‘No, everyone comes, or no-one comes, because that is the right thing to do’. And children don’t get hurt. Honestly, if that to me is not okay is so not okay.”

Her video has drawn criticism from some parents, who say it’s all part of growing up.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Teach your child to be resilient, she won’t always be included in everything and you shouldn’t have raised her to expect to be. How silly!’

“No. If it’s my child’s birthday, they get to invite who they want there.”

“Sorry nope. if they ain’t friends why would they be invited. Do you as an adult invite people you don’t like to things cause I know I don’t and I don’t know any other adult that does.”

“It’s a lesson in learning that not everyone will like you.”

Does this mum have a point? Let us know in the comments below. 

  • When my kids went to Kindy and Preschool we invited the entire class but once they were in Grade one they were allowed to invite who they wished.
    I think its great if people wish to invite the enetire class but it should not be an expectation at all. Your kids should not be forced to invite people they dont like

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  • I’m sorry from the depths of my empty wallet that I, and many other ordinary people no doubt, can not afford to host 30 children at a a venue and that there’s no way in h3ll I would be able to host 30 children and their parents as well as possibly unaccounted for siblings at my home.

    My child also has besties that aren’t in his class or that go to his school who he’d want to see at a celebration of his birthday.

    This kind of expectation is unrealistic.

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  • Like most of the posts here I disagree with this lady. People invite the number they can afford, this more than ever is the case, given how many of us are doing it tough right now. Perhaps it is accidental but the tone comes over as quite entitled too? Unfortunately there will always be cases when we dont get what we want, disappointments, etc. No parent likes to see their kids upset, but this is life sometimes. And literally her heart is not broken!!!!

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  • The mum is very entitled and it makes me wonder if her daughter is too and maybe that’s why she wasn’t invited.

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  • This is not how the real world works! A kid should be able to have a party and just invite their friends. In this case it is a little mean if it was really only excluding 2 kids. But should be teaching kids resilience. Not everyone in life is going to like you.

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  • I’m absolutely against this argument and think her reaction is dramatic and way over the top! Did she seriously just suggest if you can’t afford, like literally don’t have the money to invite everyone then your child should just miss out entirely. Wow! Audacity must be half off where she shops. My kids only five and has already been perfectly fine with not being invited to a couple of parties. Because I made out like it was no big deal and that it’s perfectly normal. We’re inviting 30 kids to her party in September, but so far have been to parties that only had a handful of kids. Each to their own.
    Now my opinion gets hot here. Turning to social media and carrying on like an entitled pork chop like this is a fast way to embarrass your kid and teach them the same behaviour. It’s an over reaction and if your child sees this and thinks “her heart is broken”, it will be. And it’s no one’s fault but yours. Rejection is a part of life and this was a good opportunity to teach them that.

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  • I have invited whole classes to parties with the reason I like to include everyone. Through that I’ve met some grateful parents whoms child were never ever invited to a party yet. My youngest has a severe Intellectual Disability due to Down syndrome who goes to a mainstream school and at age 11 was never invited to a party either. So last year I invited the whole class for a party at Bounce; it was lovely but very expensive and we can’t do this every year.

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  • I’m sorry but I don’t agree kids should be allowed to invite who ever they want and some parents can’t afford to invite the whole class

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  • You need to teach resilience and you won’t get invited to every party. The parent decides on the number of kids, the child should decide on who they like to invite to a party or sleepover. Some parents aren’t into big parties. I find invite the whole class parties overwhelming and overkill. Feels like a mums popularity contest. To say the child should not have a party is ridiculous the party is about the child who’s birthday it is. Not about the child who never got a invite. Why make another child’s birthday all about your own child. Extremely self centred selfish behaviour. Someone needs to get over themselves and realise not everything is about them. Some parents prefer a small party for there kids as they don’t want there child getting tons and tons of presents. Or being raised to be a kardashian they aren’t into invite the whole class. And that should be ok.

    Reply

  • I understand the hurt of being one of two class members not invited to a party. My daughter had about 80 students in her Prep grade, She is now in Grade 2 and has a split class of 2/3s. There has been about 6 students with her all the way through. If she was to invite all of the students she has been in class with, it would be over 50.
    Just this year, she had a classmate invited to a party that she was not invited to. All three girls had been in the same class until this year and this year the birthday girl was not in her class. It was a lesson for her and a reminder that this year she is not having a class party, but 10 friends to a playcentre, and there would be others in her class that could feel the same as she did if she wasn’t careful with how she did things.

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  • We don’t invite everyone. My kids can invite who they want. It’s their party who should they have to have people there that they aren’t friends with? I usually ask the teachers or aides to sneak them into kids bags so that uninvited kids don’t feel left out but they do need to learn that not everyone will be invited to everything and sometimes people just miss out 🤷‍♀️

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  • I do not agree. We had a rule for our daughter’s birthday parties. She was allowed to invite the number of children that equalled her age plus one. We could never have dealt with an entire class and I think it’s ridiculous that people expect it. By the time she was in highschool she only had a small group of close friends so the rule didn’t matter anyway. Our daughter went to schools with large class sizes so I can’t imagine what it would be like to have 30 odd 6 year olds at a party. Not something I would ever have even considered.

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  • I don’t agree with excluding just one or two kids but you shouldn’t have to invite everyone! It’s not all or nothing! That’s ridiculous. The only time we invited the whole class was when the kids were in kindy cos my kids hadn’t established close friendships yet. This mother sounds like she’s just venting for the sake of her own child.

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  • I think this is 2 fold. If you’re going to exclude 1 or 2 kids, hell no! But my youngest is turning 10 for eg, and i said she could invite 10 friends from school but this is a 20-30 kids class so i will remind her to distribute her invites carefully as the aim is not exclude but there’s only so many kids i can pay for

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  • Agree with the comment here.
    Why should my child be forced to invite everyone in the class to her party if she doesn’t play with them at school or if they are mean to her or if she doesn’t talk to them, kids need to learn that it isnt a world where thye get whatever they want

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  • I think that with her reaction the mum is reinforcing her child who has been sobbing for 2 days in her bedroom and left heartbroken…This is a teaching moment. Teach your child resilience and that this is a realty, she won’t be invited by everyone and she may not even be liked by everyone and that’s okay.


    • This being said my youngest who has Down syndrome and severe ADHD was never invited at a BD party of a classmate yet. She turned 11 this year and I decided to invite the whole class (27 children) to her BD party at Bounce. Count it out, very expensive. Luckily not all came, but 17 children attended and there were quite some who were never invited either (bless their wee hearts). I can tell you they had a blast. Won’t do it every year though (too expensive).



      • You don’t have aanything to say about the choices other people make in this. But it’s perfectly fine to look to what is possible for yourself and make your own choices in regards to this.
        For example my neighbour used to give her children a small birthday present from about $10 (that’s right, not more), but would throw a big birthday party for her kids and have them invite the friends they wanted

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  • When our children had their first class party, they invited the whole class. We either had it at McDonalds or Hungry Jacks (I cant remember which) to keep the cost down. Their next birthday party they were only allowed to invite a certain amount of kids, but it definitely wouldn’t have been the whole class except for two. That does seem a little cruel. As an adult turning 50, I only wanted to invite one of my aunties, I was told that it would cause issues and resentment, so I invited none of them. I guess that comes with maturity and yes I still get advice from my mother. A child has every right to invite who they want to their party but perhaps this particular parent could have explained that excluding only two children from the class is hurtful.

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  • I don’t agree with this woman. It’s not good that the little girl is upset about not being invited but there’s obviously a reason behind it. Your little girl and the little girl who is having a party either aren’t friends, one is bullying the other, or the parents have an issue with you.
    You have absolutely no idea what goes on when you’re not around.
    My child doesn’t get upset if she doesn’t get invited to a party but that might have to do with me not letting her always get what she wants and actually explaining why she can’t have everything.

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  • I’m afraid I have to disagree! I get being upset for your daughter but the child can invite whoever they want it’s their party & you shouldn’t force them to invite everyone.

    It’s up to you as a parent to teach your children they can’t always be invited and not to get upset! I have 2 daughters and they have both been on the receiving end of not being invited but also being invited when others weren’t & they learned lessons from both scenarios.

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  • That is so sad her daughter was so upset.
    But it is for sure a teaching moment !

    Life isn’t always peachy when we were kids the whole class was not a thing and it’s even more unattainable now not only that it’s is unreasonable too!

    There is no way I am paying for children my daughters do not like, don’t have a connection with to attend a party. Whether that be 1 kid or 10.

    She did her party list this year and invited half her class I told her to be respectful and not speak of it around others who were not invited. But they are kids it is what it is.
    You simply can not spend your whole life walking on egg shells and ensuring other peoples feelings aren’t hurt. You can’t prevent how someone else will feel or what offends them.
    You can only do you best be kind as you can and live your life and teach your children reason and emotional maturity / regulation !

    Reply

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