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A mum has ignited debate after calling out parents for not inviting entire classes to birthday parties, so that no child is left out.

Amber took to social media, saying she’s angry that only her daughter and one other girl weren’t invited to a party.

“So this is not okay,” she vented. “If your kid is going to have a birthday party or a sleepover, in my opinion, you invite the whole class. If you can’t afford to invite the whole class, and you don’t, don’t invite no-one.”

Amber’s 10-year-old daughter attends a small school which only has 15 students in her whole year level.

“My daughter’s been in her bedroom for two days sobbing. She’s literally heartbroken. All her friends are at this sleepover, and her and one other girl isn’t. I’m sorry, in my opinion, that is not okay.”

@journey.of.ambz.1 My poor little girl is so upset tonight that i had to post this, #mumlife #mumsbelike #mumssupportingmums ♬ original sound – journey.of.ambz.1

Amber says it’s up to parents to make sure none of the children are left out.

“If you’re a parent that does that, you need to stop. It is horrible. I’ve literally had to witness little girl so so upset, wondering what she’s doing wrong. This is the parent’s responsibility. It’s not up to the children.

“If the children say, ‘but I don’t want her to come’, you have a word of your kids, you say, ‘No, everyone comes, or no-one comes, because that is the right thing to do’. And children don’t get hurt. Honestly, if that to me is not okay is so not okay.”

Her video has drawn criticism from some parents, who say it’s all part of growing up.

“Don’t be ridiculous. Teach your child to be resilient, she won’t always be included in everything and you shouldn’t have raised her to expect to be. How silly!’

“No. If it’s my child’s birthday, they get to invite who they want there.”

“Sorry nope. if they ain’t friends why would they be invited. Do you as an adult invite people you don’t like to things cause I know I don’t and I don’t know any other adult that does.”

“It’s a lesson in learning that not everyone will like you.”

Does this mum have a point? Let us know in the comments below. 

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  • I think that with her reaction the mum is reinforcing her child who has been sobbing for 2 days in her bedroom and left heartbroken…

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  • I might be in the wrong but I think a child has the right to invite who they want to their party. My kids didn’t have parties just because I hated the whole technicality of it all. Instead we did something extra special for our kids such a a nice dinner with the family and going to the theatre.

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  • I have to disagree here maybe that child does not like this child I’m not going to force my kid to invite someone they don’t want too and if the child is up set I’m guessing the mum possibly might be enabling this life lessons unfortunately it isn’t nice but that’s where you teach your child it’s ok and you go do something fun with them

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  • I’m sure it’s hard when it’s a small school but this is life I’m afraid. I hope no one is being bullied here, on either side.

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  • Her intentions are good but you can’t expect other parents to carry the same opinion.

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  • An example of sleeping on something when emotional… before posting to the world

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  • You can’t invite everyone. It’s just too much financially and the kids will only want to invite the friends they play with most

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  • Whatever your opinion, there are lessons to be learnt about kindness and not having blanket rules to invite all or no one.
    I m a solo parent to autistic twins. One has adhd too , and while his twin gets invited to a few parties, the one with adhd doesnt. However, as I cant divide myself in half, neither go to any parties. We’re also quite financially challenged which means large party celebrations just arent on the list. It’s a life lesson, Im afraid, but one worth learning. Dont sweat the little stuff, but dont encourage unfairness either way.


    • I know what you mean. My 10 yr old who has Down Syndrome and ADHD has never been invited for a BD party of a class mate either…

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  • People just have to accept the fact that they may not be invited to parties. It’s not the end of the world. Everyone’s entitled to invite who they want.

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  • To this mum I would say; since only your daughter and one other girl weren’t invited to a party, I would invite that girl over and throw a special party or pampering for the 2 of them.
    You can not force others to invite you, it’s not a matter of right or wrong, just accept it and teach your child to accept it

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  • My youngest (who has Down syndrome, severe cognitive and verbal delay and ADHD, 10yrs old) has never been invited for a birthday party of a class mate, nor has she ever been invited for a playdate with a class mate.
    I would love to throw a party inviting all classmates, however there are 27 of them ! My daughter is very inclusive herself and the kids in her class have been wonderful to her

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  • No parents should invite the whole class – the children have special friends and they are the only ones who should be invited.


    • I agree; children should not be forced to invite others.

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  • What a ridiculous demand. Especially for schools with much bigger classes.

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  • 2 is a small number of children to exclude. But no one should invite people they don’t want to there party. It’s OK not to be friends tell your daughter to host her own and invite her friends. Exclude that girl. You need to treat people how they treat you. Teach your daughter not to bother with people that aren’t interested in her, rather than hankering after the girl. This invite the whole class mentality does not sit well with alot of parents. If there are 27 kids in a class they all come plus siblings, parent and family some of these kids parties are full with 60 plus people. It’s over kill feels like the mums are competing for a my kids popular award. No child needs 40 plus gifts. Normal families really should not be trying to be a kardashian. A who cares let’s do our own fun things instead approach by mum is best not a whinge at my kid didn’t get invited.

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  • Firstly, the post doesn’t say that it’s for a sleepover. It says ‘sleepover or party’ it is being general in nature. Lets assume that considering the number of kids and even having 3 kids over for a sleepover is crazy town (no way would I allow 12!) , there is no real reason to exclude only 2 people. That is cruel. Unless the child having the party is really popular, they are not going to be friends with everyone they have invited. Even if they are popular, they wouldn’t be close to the majority of the kids and would have 2-3 close friends. Having a party and inviting everyone but 2 is just mean spirited and probably a continuation of the bullying the excluded kids are already feeling at school. It’s not kind or fair. The parents of the birthday child should be teaching them to be kind and inclusive and to at least be nice to other kids who may be different or not liked for whatever silly reason the majority of the class have decided to pick on them for.

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  • That is tough. My kids only had 1/2 a dozen or so close friends at their birthdays. If you choose the whole class, it’s a bit heartbreaking to leave 1 or 2 kids out, but if your kid doesn’t like them……I don’t think they should be forced to invite them

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  • I can totally see what this mum is upset but honestly if theres only 15 students in their year level, let’s assume around half of them were boys. That only leaves 7 girls. 2 weren’t invited so thats a sleep over with 5 including the host. Maybe the mum could only fit an extra 4 for a sleep over? I think it’d be unfair to leave one or two out of a big classroom in the younger years but at 10 they should be old enough to understand reasoning…

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  • I can totally see what this mum is upset but honestly if theres only 15 students in their year level, let’s assume around half of them were boys. That only leaves 7 girls. 2 weren’t invited so thats a sleep over with 5 including the host. Maybe the mum could only fit an extra 4 for a sleep over? I think it’d be unfair to leave one or two out of a big classroom in the younger years but at 10 they are old enough to understand reasoning…

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  • Far more important for children to learn early that parent’s don’t have unlimited supplies of money to cater for e.g. big parties and that not everyone gets to do everything they want to do in life.
    If the whole class has been invited, all except one child, then that is a whole different issue.

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  • I would love to throw a BD party for my youngest inviting all kids, however she has 27 kids in her class (a bit different than 15). My youngest is very inclusive herself and the kids in her class are wonderful to her

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