Mum Demands School Formals Are Banned for Good

Mum shares a rant about school formals and demands they need to be banned ASAP!

Sharing on Facebook the mum warned, “RANT ALERT! Why on earth are schools still doing formal balls???

Continuing her rant she wrote, “Seriously mums, what’s up with the year 11 presentation (or debutante) ball that so many schools hold, where parents are asked to come along with their year 11s, for a formal ball / dinner.

“They eat, dance and ‘present’ the young ladies to society. Apparently, in the ‘old days’ rich famlies used to show-off their young 15-16 year old females with the hope of finding a suitable wealthy young man to marry them off.

“I have SO MANY OBJECTIONS to the whole idea that I don’t know where to start. SO out-dated, so degrading to females, so wrong, heterosexual couples only, and while at school my daughters certainly aren’t “available” to the males in society wealthy ones or not.

“And it is so expensive (the food was reportedly scant and bad at last years event, the kids have to share taxis or limos for photo’s that parents can’t go to, they have to get the dresses and formal stuff, buy their partner a present, get shoes, the list goes on.. and the tradition is to have parties after the midnight ball ends, and you have to alert the police to patrol to prevent gate crashing).

“The whole thing is just so unnecessary.”

“Plus what I’ve heard is that most parents HATE it.. but kids are geed-up by school that this is a ‘thing of their life’ when in reality it is one way to blow a LOAD of money in one fell swoop, supporting a ‘cultural thing ‘ that I don’t even agree with.”

The internet did no react kindly

To be honest I must admit I think this mum makes a great point. It can be a real divider for kids today, especially those that can’t afford the fancy dress, makeup and car. I think it should just be something they attend in full school uniform so it is more inclusive for everyone.

Other mums certainly did not take lightly to this mother’s opinion.

Kayla said, “Um since whe is it to show off available girls? I think your the outdated one. Its actually now a celebration of them completing a certain milestone at school and celebrating.”

Lana said, “What the? Nowhere does a debutante ball that I’m aware of, it’s a formal, a chance for kids to dress up and celebrate the end of their schooling and transition into adulthood. Let people enjoy things.”

Cassandra wrote, “Ok, calm down Conan. If you don’t like it, don’t do it.”

Danielle shared, “It’s just a chance for the kids to have some fun.. my stepdaughter who finished year 12 last year went to 2 formals (one for her then boyfriend in year 11 and then again her own in year 12) and she loved the both of them.”

Margaret shared, “My daughters refused to do it it’s costs a ridiculous sum and they didn’t want to be forced to ask a guy to partner with them so they just didn’t.”

Hayley shared, “My daughter did her Deb in year 11 last year. It was a beautiful night, the kids were gorgeous and they had the time of their lives. It wasn’t compulsory but there was only a handful of students who didn’t do it. And all the kids were presented, not just the girls. Agreed, it wasn’t a cheap night but I’d do it again in a heartbeat, she will remember it forever.”

Charmaine said, “It’s fun, you learn how to dance etc. I was a ballroom dancer, I’ve taught a couple of presentation balls, these days they usually present the boy as well, not just the girl! Ballroom dancers are sometimes gay, but they still dance with women. Same sex dancing competitions are rare.”

Chelsy agreed, “It’s a fun event for the kids and parents. the old meaning of it has nothing to do with what it means today in Australia anyway, its called a formal and its a celebration of milestones. ”

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45 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 19 Mar 2023
    10:12 am
You might think all these things but its not about you. Its about your child and if they would like to take part and if they do then you suck it up and do the best you can for them and keep your negative comments to yourself.

- - mom111059 said
  - 20 Jan 2021
    11:25 pm
Agree it can be expensive, but it is a wonderful night for them. Good memories.

- - mom152736 said
  - 03 Dec 2019
    1:59 pm
interesting to read. its gonna be long till i reach that place.

- - skbou said
  - 25 Jul 2019
    8:47 pm
Not a big fan and get it about the stress/money etc but it is a milestone that most kids are excited about. What I don’t agree with is all the other formals or graduations happening…..primary school, year 10 then year 12, with some schools even doing it for kindy.

- - mom206279 said
  - 30 May 2019
    3:46 am
I’ve only got my experience to go on and it was a fun night. We were all ‘presented’ with our partners and it was all a good memory.

- - mom81879 said
  - 17 May 2019
    7:31 pm
If you don’t want to participate, fine, don’t, but don’t insist everyone go without because you don’t like them. A lot of parents and students enjoy end of year dances. Yeah, it can be costly, but it’s celebrating the end of one chapter in life and the start of another

- - ella12 said
  - 29 Apr 2019
    2:28 pm
I’m not crazy about them, but if its all for a bit of fun, fair enough.

- - mom101628 said
  - 28 Apr 2019
    10:57 pm
It can be horribly expensive – a friend of mine spent $500 on the dress alone – and to wear something once at that cost is ridiculous especially when you do it all again for Year 12.
Partly agree with this mom’s rant especially if you do Year 11, Year 12 and then a formal debut.

- - mom356614 said
  - 16 Apr 2019
    7:20 am
School Formal is something eveyone looks forward too. Everyone remembers what they wore to their school formal

- - tessie said
  - 08 Apr 2019
    1:20 pm
It’s just a chance for them to get all dressed up and celebrate finishing school. My boys had a wonderful time.

- - rovermum said
  - 08 Apr 2019
    11:06 am
Wow! If you don’t like it, don’t let your child do it. Firstly, our school didn’t do a formal at all. And secondly, the deb ball is not a school-run function but organised external to the school by students from the same school. The old ‘deb’ of introducing your daughter to society is not what these new and modern debs are about. My son partnered a beautiful human being who thought enough of him to share the experience with her. Both are families were so proud and loved every minute of their deb. They have memories to share forever.

- - sars_angelchik said
  - 08 Apr 2019
    8:53 am
Oh my word get over yourself! Ever thought that maybe the kids enjoy getting dressed up? I don’t know about parents being there that wasn’t a thing when I was in school. Plus a lot of people would go without a date. It wasn’t about being available to marry it was simply a night to feel grown up and pretty.

- - Kate Sander said
  - 07 Apr 2019
    2:13 pm
I think it’s American only as we do formals but I never went to mine. I chose manpower instead. Here I was (obviously showing) pregnant and at the show with my mum and aunt. Best decision ever and cheaper for my parents too lol. I could have sat eating a meal which i did not like either of the two choices and i don’t really dance and wasn’t popular so saw no point in going.

- - joeyyy said
  - 07 Apr 2019
    7:39 am
Don’t want your child to do it due to price? simple just say you can’t afford it.
I didn’t do mine at school, didn’t want that expense on my parents (they weren’t at all well off) yet others did theirs and enjoyed it.
If you can’t afford something you need to say no as parents where you need to..

- - amymcc said
  - 06 Apr 2019
    1:18 pm
My high school had year 12 balls (and probably still does). But it was never called a debutante ball and not one kid was “presented”. For my school it was a way of the students having fun. My friends and I all went without partners – there was no requirement to go with a partner, but you could if you wanted to. The dancing wasn’t ballroom dancing either.
I’ve never heard of a high school calling their year 12 balls debutante balls!

- - mom358849 said
  - 06 Apr 2019
    11:57 am
Bleh. I hate them, too. The girls want to dress and act like major celebrities, with fake tans, professional hairdressing, makeup and photographers, limousines, red carpet, finding a partner…it goes on and on. Ugh. I get that it’s a celeb toon of secondary school ending, but it has got out of hand. And let’s not even talk about the expense. Unnecessary.
- mom358849 replied
  
  06 Apr 2019 , 11:58 am
  *celebration
- - mom87251 said
  - 06 Apr 2019
    11:44 am
I agree it is an old fashion custom and it is a very expensive exercise for the parent or parents. Most girls want the best dress and they can run into hundreds of dollars, then their is shoes, make-up and hair etc. My grand=-daughter is going to the year 12 formal and is already speaking big money of the dress she wants. If they could keep it more low key and keep their expenses to a realistic amount and they just go to school dance at the school would be a better idea

- - Gwen2620 said
  - 06 Apr 2019
    9:29 am
Due to Tasmania’s system of leaving High School at Grade 10 then College at Grade 12, our children each attended the Grade 10 Leavers Dinners but didn’t bother with the Grade 12 ones. Car pooling kept down the price of a hire car and frugal shopping for clothes. Make up and hair done by family. Catering – well we won’t go there but they all had a wonderful time and got to wear beautiful dresses.

- - musicmum said
  - 06 Apr 2019
    2:41 am
I agree ban it, so old fashioned and pointless, don’t see the fun in it, more like stress, just have the party without the formalities of the type of dressing they do and having to find a partner, not fair for the LBGT people.

- - Ceebsa89 said
  - 05 Apr 2019
    9:15 pm
STOP TAKING THE FUN OUT OF EVERYTHING! We can’t say or do anything anymore it’s so bloody ridiculous!!!