Mum of Three Questions: "Why Are We So Scared of Gender?"

This mum of three refuses to raise her children gender neutral.

Sydney mum Eliza Curby, 28, told Daily Mail Australia she won’t ‘create some unreasonable neutral gender playing field’ for her children – because she isn’t ‘afraid of gender’.

Eliza noticed her young boys ‘gravitating towards the few toy cars’ in the house – and says they are ‘obsessed’ with the garbage truck.

‘It got me thinking about boys and girls and why we are so afraid of the difference,’ she said.

So she wrote a post about it on her Facebook page – challenging new-age ideals about gender.

‘Why are we so scared of gender these days?’ she asked.

‘We are so concerned with equality, blurring the lines in such a way that we expect men and women be treated the same, act the same, be judged the same, ‘be’ the same,’ she wrote.

‘But here’s the thing – we are not the same.’

She went on to say she is ‘proud to be a woman’ and that she expects to be treated as one.

‘I’m honoured to have an incredible man who opens the door for me, pulls out my chair, who ‘looks after me’ – not in a sense that I cannot do these things myself, but to show me a certain respect and love in doing them.

‘And I intend to raise my boys – unapologetically – in the same manner,’ she wrote.

Her post has resonated with other parents who have left comments like –

“Yes!!! Best thing I’ve read on social media!”

“This! I am raising my son just as that – a boy. With respect, manners and chivalry for women. A gentleman. And there is nothing wrong with this!”

“Yes!!!”

“I absolutely love love love this.”

“As a mum of four boy who have grown into fine men that is exactly how I have raised mine.”

Share your comments below

17 Comments

- - mom81879 said
  - 19 Nov 2018
    10:38 am
100% agree. I always let my kids choose what they wanted to play with or do. My daughter had a passing fancy for cars, especially remote controlled ones. She was never into dolls or barbie, she was more into paints and pencils and drawing and writing. If I had pushed toys on her, we may never have discovered this. My son was always into the cars, but sometimes he used my dsughters toys with his vehicles. Eg he used the barbie camper a little bit. Let kids be kids

- - Blossom said
  - 28 Sep 2018
    2:36 am
I remember my Mum buying me some clothes in the boys dept. They were longer in the body (I was always tall for my age as a child) and the winter clothes were thicker too……What is more Mum suddenly realised that the boys were cheaper too. No idea why, they were the same brand and colours anyway. It was mainly singlets for Winter ( the wide straps weren’t visible though winter clothing), skivvies and t-shirts. I didn’t like and have many pink things.

- - brennandiaries said
  - 01 Jul 2018
    7:52 pm
I think this lady is so right? Why are we so afraid of gender. Is political correctness gone mental!

- - sambii said
  - 01 Jul 2018
    10:02 am
We have twin girls and always dressed them in clothes from the “girls” section, until one of them told us that she was and wanted to be a boy. We just went with it — it’s not up to us to tell her who she is, only she knows that! She has since decided that she’s okay with being a girl, she just doesn’t want to wear dresses all the time like her sister. That’s okay too! We still shop in the “boys” section for her, as she just doesn’t like the selections in the “girls” section. We have never raised them gender neutral, because they’re going to decide for themselves either way!

- - mom81879 said
  - 19 Jun 2018
    9:50 am
My kids played how they wanted to play. My son had goes with Barbie and baby dolls, my daughter enjoyed getting dirty outside and get remote controlled cars. My son is full on into boy things now, my daughter is more tomboy still but beautiful thoughtful smart kind people.

- - tessie said
  - 08 Jun 2018
    9:42 pm
I treated my boys as that. Boys. They are fine young gentlemen and I’m very proud of them. Just treat them with love and be there for them.

- - mom93821 said
  - 04 Jun 2018
    6:24 am
Children are individual and I am not keen on definitions of gender. Children will grow to have their own interests and act according to their personality and nature. Children need to be exposed to all opportunities regardless of gender.

- - kjgarner said
  - 01 Jun 2018
    11:19 pm
Loved reading this i have 3 girls and 2 boys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

- - ralu said
  - 31 May 2018
    10:15 pm
Great article, well done.Someone with a lot of common sense.

- - mom206279 said
  - 31 May 2018
    2:26 pm
Each child is different. Just repect who they are and work around that. I have a “typical” boy and I’d never take his cars away but he plays tea parties with me too. Just let them be who they are. She’s spot on that gender isn’t a bad thing.
- mom93821 replied
  
  05 Jun 2018 , 6:02 am
  You are so right! Respect each child for the little person they are right now and will grow into. Encourage all things they enjoy regardless of perceived stereotype.
- - rovermum said
  - 31 May 2018
    10:45 am
Hallelujah and thank you. It seems there is a growing momentum for gender neutrality. We’ll just end up with a generation of confused adults. I will raise my son to be a good man – he is already a respectful and polite young teen. Let’s just teach our children courteous and respect against all other humans. Everything else follows.

- - MelissaK said
  - 30 May 2018
    9:33 pm
Hooray! At least someone can see common sense.

- - Ellen said
  - 30 May 2018
    4:18 am
Sure think manners, respect and love are so important.
Personally I think this gender identification (girl/bot behaviour, – toys, – clothing, etc) will come in it’s own time, we don’t have to direct or steer our kids in regards this at all. We just have to be there as parents.

- - becstalou said
  - 29 May 2018
    8:30 pm
Kids should be let be kids. We seem to swing too far one way and then too far back the other. Boys seem to naturally be obsessed with cars, construction and wheels even if they’re not given the toys. You like what you like and that should be all there is to it.

- - mom90758 said
  - 29 May 2018
    5:19 pm
I agree!!

- - BekH said
  - 29 May 2018
    2:59 pm
Right on Mama! I agree with her. There is nothing wrong with children acting like a boy or a girl. Sure, nobody should tell them to stop playing with dolls or cars or whatever if they want to, but fact of the matter is we are different and we should encourage children to find the version of masculinity or femininity that is right for them.