I understand your first Mothers Day is special for you and you want to have a say in how to spend it. You could discuss with your husband that he may want to spend some time (even a 1hour visit could be nice) with his mum to honor her…but thats up to your husband

You have to celebrate the Mother’s Day the way you want – you are after all the Mother. Enjoy it as much as possible while your children are young because that’s when it is most important. Once you are older, this day becomes less important in your children’s eyes and your partners eyes and your MIL and perhaps also mother have passed on.

It’s a balancing act to keep everyone happy. We often forget they’re getting older too

I know that it is important to have time to yourself, but remember that your husband has his Mum, How would you feel if in 20 years your son does not want to see you, you need to show him how things should be.

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  • • mom135705 replied
    • 08 May 2021 , 5:13 pm

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  Agreed!! Have a special Mother’s Day breakfast with your own family and then go to the lunch.

No I will not…they don’t remember about my birthday..not a point of celebrating with them at any occasion

I absolutely will never spend it with my in laws.

On mothers day I always get breakfast in bed given from my kids which i love. After that we see both my mother and mother in law. This year i am inviting them to our house for lunch. I think it is nice for the kids to see that my husband and i both respect our own mothers and treat them equally.

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  • • mom135705 replied
    • 08 May 2021 , 5:16 pm

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  Exactly!! As someone else said, imagine in 30 years time you don’t get to see your own kids because your daughter/son-in-law took preference. See all of the mothers if you can, celebrate all of the mothers while you can.

I think she should spend the day with just herself and bub. Her mother in law isn’t really her “mother” per say, it’s her hubby’s mother.
If he wants to go and see her then he can after he has spent the day with his wife as I think he owes that to her at least four carrying their child for nine months and also giving birth to it!

Spend the day with just your baby and husband. But maybe pop around to his mums place in the evening for a cuppa and some cake?
I get every Mother’s Day to myself. My husband has share every one of his with my dad. I keep insisting that he spend the day to himself and that we can see my dad the day before, but I guess my husband feel guilty with that as I am all my dad has now. He also says he will have plenty of father’s days to just himself

I totally get this! I get the same thing with my MIL! There needs to be balance and in all honesty she has had mother’s day for nigh on 22 years with my husband- it’s my day too and my turn! I know I might sound selfish but his mother is such an overpowering personality that I find myself being lost and it really doesn’t help when she shows up unannounced and demands what’s happening on mother’s day, and then shutting down my suggestions. Anyway we did end up agreeing to a BBQ dinner so I’ll still get my brekky out and then a hike or bike ride. As I tried explaining- we like different things!

If it were me I would spend Mother’s Day with my in-laws and then celebrate my own Mother’s Day on another day. I’d rather celebrate two Mother’s Days than make a fuss over one particular date.

Makes it hard when it’s his Grandmothers last one, maybe he wants to celebrate her to. Imagine if it was your mum or grandmother. Or your sons son in 30 years and they don’t want to spend it with you.
It is a little selfish in my eyes and seems a bit more like a power thing between her and the mother in law…
maybe instead of doing a Mother’s Day you guys could do a mother’s weekend? one day for you and another day for all the mums and grandmothers in your family? Compromise

I totally understand. Your first anything is special, and your husband and his family should understand that.

I can understand, my first Mother’s Day was spent going from place to place with a 5 week old and I was exhausted by the end of it. We now spread Mother’s Day over the weekend, I see one mum on the saturday for dinner and then one mum on the Sunday mostly for afternoon tea so that way I’ve got the morning to spend just us.

yup, its yr turn now.

I can relate a little here. But irs my first mothers day and I want to spend it with my baby and my little family. So were doing that.

If your husband wants to see his mother on mother’s Day let Him go by him self why should you go as well you are a mother now & it’s your first mother’s Day you spend it the way that makes you happy Don’t worry about anyone else’s mother enjoy your day ????

I can understand where the mother is coming from, but she needs to suck it up. We all have to do things we don’t want to do when it comes to family, especially in laws. Cutting the in laws out may cause problems within the marriage. I felt similar when my children were babies but dealt with it. Now I have an amazing relationship with my in laws. It took time to grow together and there were hiccups but I wouldn’t change anything

I think compromise is good

I think you should have most of Mother’s Day for you – get your husband to suggest that you will be doing something different this day and will see them for afternoon tea when your child wakes from their sleep (either your place or theirs) as it is your first Mother’s Day. Get him to tell her – and get him to grow some balls!!!!!