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A new mum has shared her list of strict rules for visiting her newborn, including the expectation that guests do chores and bring gifts from an approved list.

The detailed set of dos and don’ts has led to other mums accusing the woman and her husband of ‘cash grabbing’ and being ‘entitled’.

The 34-year-old new mum gave birth on Christmas Day, but months before her baby boy was born, she and her husband sent out a list of rules for visiting the bundle of joy. They included:

1. Up to date on ALL vaccines

2. If you feel anyway sick don’t visit

3. Let us know a week before hand so we can arrange a day/time

4. No smokers

5. No phone calls or visits between 7:30pm-10pm

6. You can only stay an hour

7. No picking up the baby without consent

8. No advice

9. No perfume/deodorant

10. No is no we won’t explain why

11. No pictures to be taken or posted on social media

12. If you visit the first time you will be expected to give mum (me) a gift card and a gift for baby from our approved list

13. Before you ever come, no matter how many times, you will be given a list of a either food or groceries to bring with you, AND a chore list to do a chore of your choosing

14. No more than two visits a week, per person

Husband puts family in ‘time out’

The new parents say the aim of the rules is to reduce the amount of visits and visitors, and to treat everyone equally. But it’s caused a sticky situation with her family (surprise, surprise!).

“My sister in law studies in a different part of the country and is rarely home,” she explained on reddit. “She asked to visit last week before she had to go back to school, so we set up a date with link to our gift list than sent her the takeout we’d like including the chores she can choose from.

“She immediately texted back saying she’s broke and can she do extra chores instead. Me and my husband talked about it and came to the decision that if we bent the rules for one person everyone would want the same treatment.

“We told her no that we were very clear about our rules and maybe next time she could visit. She begged even said would clean the whole house because it would be June before she’s would be home again and we simply texted no. She didn’t reply. She left this morning and we got multiple texts for my in laws belittling us for using our child as a cash grab, my husband simply replied it was our rules and no one deserves special treatment then told his family they were on a time out and blocked them.

“Since then my family and our friends have told us we were wrong because she is a broke collage student and they would have understood if we looked the other way once. We have tried reaching out to his sister but she won’t reply.”

The mum is now wondering whether they should have ‘bent the rules’ for her sister-in-law.

Other mums lashed out at the woman’s set of rules, calling her ‘entitled’.

“Your rules went from 0 to 60. Like smoking and vaccines, yeah. But gift cards and chores? The entitlement is strong with this one,” one commenter wrote.

“You’re using your baby as a cash grab. Gifts – for the baby and especially the mother – are something guests should bring as they want and on their own terms. Not as a mandate.”

What do you think? Should she have just let her sister-in-law visit the baby? Let us know in the comments below.

  • Wow! A few good, sensible rules, but some are so over the top and self entitled.

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  • Unfortunately I wouldn’t want to visit people like this. I’m ok with the first few but expecting me to do your household chores & bringing you groceries on top of a gift is too much.

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  • I was horrified reading this email. I certainly would not be visiting. I am ok with 1, . 2 and maybe 11 but NO NO and NO for the rest. What is wrong with people these days. Where are they getting these ideas.

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  • Very entitled indeed

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  • With a list of demands like that I’m surprised anyone actually wants to visit. I can understand the vaccine/sickness thing but expecting gifts from a list they’ve chosen and for people to do specific chores makes them sound like entitled, spoilt brats…

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  • Good for her for having the balls to do what’s right for her newborn. Their immune system isn’t great in the first few weeks, best safe then sorry

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  • I agree with other commenters, 1-11 I can kind of understand (take with a pinch of salt), but 12 and beyond, have to be a joke. You can’t ask/demand that of people. I find it rude and a bit obnoxious. Very outrageous!!

    Reply

  • Wow… they’ll have no one left in their lives!
    Imagine a world where you can demand presents, gift cards, takeaway and to do a chore just because you popped a baby out!
    They don’t seem all there in the head.

    Reply

  • I could go with rules 1 – 11 – they’re not that unreasonable. But after that it’s a sharp swerve into entitlement. And yes, they should have let the SIL visit. How cruel. She offered a reasonable compromise on their ridiculous rules.

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  • I wonder if she realises that she is isolating the people who will be there when times get tough? It’s commonsense to be respectful when visiting someone with a new baby. Some of those rules are really over the top!

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  • Wow! I can see how these rules would come across as harsh and over the top for many. Some I tend agree with .. 1, 2 and 7 but the rest? No.

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  • The rules are beyond strict, I can understand a couple especially number 2 but it’s a bit too much.

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  • These rules are just disgusting! I can understand many of rules around vaccinations etc as they are for the babies safety. But the must bring a gift card, approved presents and do chores? I would never be visiting, ever!!

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  • This is so wrong!! I only agree with No 2 and No 7. No 2 is a no brainer but No 7 would be hard to enforce. I hated anyone touching my baby…..

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  • Hahaha, each to it’s own. Frankly, I could not have done this. But I am strict with one rule and that is no social media posting pls for my kids. A friend posted pics without our consent. We had to tell her to take it down. She was ok with it.

    Reply

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