Mums go 'out out' - Mouths of Mums

Mums go ‘out out’

So we made it ‘out out’ to quote my mate Micky. But picking a date was ever so tricky.

Organising babysitters, or hubby’s to stay home. So the kids would be safe and we could go out alone.

I try to get ready and curl my wild hair. Do adventurous makeup to add vital flare.

But I look at my shoes, a collection that’s bursting. My past taste in shoes, I’m now desperately cursing.

Why aren’t there more wedges? Or could I wear flats? No I should wear a heel, I’ve decided, that is that!

So I do a test walk, in my old friends ‘high heels’. I’ve now lost the knack, I require new skills.

My ankle wobbles, I may break my neck…But hey I’m going ‘out out’, I’ll wear them, what the heck!

I wobble to the bar and order my wine. That first sip of grape tastes utterly divine.

It slides down like water, a great wondrous drink. Then my brain starts to change, and I radically think…

I’m 20 again, I can move like the rest. I can shake my booty. Show the youngens who’s best!

But my bum continues wobbling, long after it was shaken. My attempt an epic fail, I fear I was mistaken.

Then dreading morning comes…Who hit me on the head? Or have I reached hell? And am I just dead?

My head is thumping, my kids call my name. What’s that noise I think suddenly? They shout once again.

That’s right I’ve got kids now. Oh sh#t…what to do? I’m going to be sick and I run for the loo.

I need water and paracetamol, with a strong cup of tea. Then I greet the kids zombified as they jump up at me.

“Never again!” I say with such vengeance. While my kids are still young, I’ll skip my independence.

Then just one month later, I’ve forgotten all that pain. My friend suggests a girls night out. I’m up for it again!

Can you relate? Please share in the comments below.

Image courtesy of Shutterstock.com

We may get commissions for purchases made using links in this post. Learn more.

30 Comments

- - meedee said
  - 21 Jun 2022
    10:23 am
I was never really interested in going out in the evenings when my kids were little. I loved being at home with my family. That suited me just fine.

- - ella12 said
  - 05 Apr 2017
    11:58 am
Very true. I like how you have turned it into a poem.

- - mom94378 said
  - 22 Nov 2015
    10:53 pm
Enjoyable reading here girls!

- - hopefullyheidi said
  - 25 Oct 2015
    11:39 am
Was a great read of the realities of balancing parenthood with a social life

- - 4littlemunchkins said
  - 23 Oct 2015
    7:03 pm
This is hilarious. I love it! So very true.

- - Melanie said
  - 02 Oct 2015
    8:51 pm
Hahaha! I can sooooo relate!

- - kymichelle said
  - 30 Sep 2015
    7:56 pm
Ah yes! I must say its been a while though!

- - dbhall82 said
  - 17 Sep 2015
    10:10 pm
Haha this is too funny!! I haven’t yet made it out since the birth of my child but I’m a bit wary..haven’t worn heels in two years so I’ll probably wobble everywhere as well and I’m sure it would only take one wine to make me tipsy and hungover the next day haha!!

- - mom150983 said
  - 09 Sep 2015
    8:38 am
I love the great shoe dilemma

- - mom103920 said
  - 07 Sep 2015
    12:40 pm
Caroline, you certainly have a way with words. Thanks for the giggle. No, sadly I can’t relate to a girls night out, even the P&C meetings I usually have at least some of the kids in tow.
- mom94125 replied
  
  15 Oct 2015 , 1:29 pm
  oh one day the kids will leave home and then we won’t know what to do with ourselves
- - rovermum said
  - 07 Sep 2015
    10:04 am
I did learn that children and hangovers don’t mix. Kids don’t care what time you got home. They just want you up when they’re up. I think having a child cured me of drinking alcohol, ever.

- - mom101628 said
  - 04 Sep 2015
    10:08 pm
I ended up dancing till 3 in the morning – the next day was something I can’t really remember. My kids told me I was still functioning. LOL

- - abi said
  - 04 Sep 2015
    9:32 pm
Excellent – sums going out as a mum perfectly! Too funny

- - levismumma said
  - 04 Sep 2015
    7:16 pm
Oh I loved this poem it’s so clever and funny.

- - mom81879 said
  - 03 Sep 2015
    8:26 pm
I sure can relate. There’s such a huge checklist before leaving the kids,never if it’s with hubby :/

- - mom113055 said
  - 02 Sep 2015
    7:29 pm
going out

- - bedda1 said
  - 02 Sep 2015
    1:25 pm
Oh a girl can dream…..I wish I could go out and do that! Absolutely cannot remember the last time I did something like that, just me and the girls. Great, funny poem though.

- - bec101 said
  - 01 Sep 2015
    8:17 pm
Hahaha that sounds exactly like me!
Every work Christmas party we go out till late like we are a young again. All go home to kids be next day and take the next week to recover.

- - Carolineb said
  - 31 Aug 2015
    9:40 pm
I can’t remember when my last night out was.

- - mom74640 said
  - 30 Aug 2015
    9:19 am
Lke it