It sounds like the original Maid of Honor valued the friendship with the bride more than the bride valued the same friendship. Who kicks out a dear friend because they are ‘too fat’ for whatever reason. Super petty after the MOH has gone to great lengths to help the bride have a great time in the lead up.

I would have asked for the money back too. I do not understand how people can do that to others (and even worse when they are friends). Very sad.

If I was in your shoes I would have asked for the money back too. You certainly should not have just stepped aside. I cannot believe a friend would do what she has done. You are not fat, you are pregnant. I hope you get back every cent and not attend the wedding.

Definitely ask for your money back and I would probably walk away from the friendship. She’s really not much of a best friend to do this to you! Some people have such a hide and no empathy it is insane. Probably best to learn that she isn’t much of a friend now anyways.

I would be insisting on getting my money back as I really think those expenses should have been paid for by her family and herself, not the MOH in the first place. However as you have been removed as the MOH then you definitely shouldn’t foot the bill.
The one good thing that comes out of this fiasco is that you have learned how shallow your ‘best friend’ really was and that cutting ties now will be beneficial in the future.
I do hope your pregnancy goes well and you and your husband revel in your newborn.
Cut this person out of your lives and have a wonderful life as a family together.

To start with it’s not the responsibility of the MOH to pay for everything. That should all be down to her parents. She’s not much of a friend if she is treating you this way and, yes, I do think it’s because you’re pregnant. I’m so glad that your husband agrees that you haven’t done anything wrong. The only person in the wrong is the bride. Her parents should pay you back if she doesn’t. She’s a friend I wouldn’t want in my life.

I don’t believe that a MOH is responsible for paying for anything for someone else’s wedding to begin with.
I think bridezilla is jealous that you being pregnant will take some of the limelight off her and she’s scared of losing any kind of attention.
She’s the a-hole for kicking out her “bestfriend” because of “aesthetics”.
I wouldn’t be attending the wedding, I would be asking for all my money back, I would be unleashing on the bride groom and their families and I would be cutting ties forever.
No mum, especially a pregnant or postpartum mum need to put up with narcissistic people like this.

The friend/bride sounds like a selfish brat! Who cares if her MOH is pregnant- it’s not about the bridesmaids anyway. All eyes will be on her. What, does she think she won’t get enough attention now? It’s extremely petty, even if her bestie hadn’t spent thousands of dollars, she’s being hurtful to someone who saw her as family. She should be ashamed!

You’ve learnt an expensive yet very valuable lesson. Be happy that you no longer have to waste your time on such a shallow individual. She has shown her true colours. This is not someone you should want around your child. Find someone more worthy of your time, money & friendship.

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  • • mom160270 replied
    • 17 Dec 2024 , 9:10 pm

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  You have summed up exactly what I wanted to say.

I think you behaved in a way that is entirely fair. What a ridiculous reason to kick someone out of a wedding.

True friends would not do this to someone. Good on you for giving her the receipts and asking for your money back. What a terrible and rude friend. I don’t think I could be friends with this person after she did something like this. I wouldn’t want to go to her wedding either and would likely never want to see her again.

First of all get 2 mirrors and send them to her as the wedding present and just block her from every part of your life .Block Phone and social media and and return any mail she may send you.
She is nothing but low life scum and be glad that you have found her out for what she is .

So you paid for the bridal shower, bachelorette party (a weekend trip), decorations, and other expenses, spending several thousand dollars and while it was a lot of money for your husband and you, you wanted to make her big day perfect because she’s your best friend and like family to you. And she no longer wants you to be the MOH because you’re pregnant and too fat ?? Nice friend you have, or actually she clearly shows you not to be a friend for her, this is not what you do to a friend. Asking for reimbursement is totally reasonable.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 14 Dec 2024 , 3:20 am

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  True friendship is not casual and the relationship should be nurtured and supported through good times and bad times. A wedding is a good time and a pregnancy is a good time and to turn both events and the relationship into something bad is truly sad and not true friendship.

You absolutely handled it correctly. I was thinking as I was reading that I would be asking for the money back and was glad to see you did. I can’t imagine forking out that sort of money for someone else’s wedding in the first place. Just let the relationship go now. She is showing her true nature.

I have never understood the amount of money that gets spent on weddings and other costs associated with weddings but of course everyone is different and some people do like to spend on weddings. I cannot understand removing someone from a wedding for their size. We did not care one bit about size or shape; it was the relationships that mattered. It would seem the friendship is over.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 14 Dec 2024 , 8:37 am

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  Yes I have never understood the amount of money that gets spent on weddings and other costs associated with weddings either ! Everyone is different and some people do like to spend on weddings indeed. We ourselves certainly didn’t, we had the must simple wedding ever. We married in Florida just with the two of us and then held kind of a reception after a church service, and organised foods and drinks ourselves in the UK where we lived back then

I totally agree that she should ask for reimbursement. I can’t believe someone would kick their “best friend” out of a wedding because of pregnancy related weight gain.

Op is absolutely NTA. You know what is stressful? Being pregnant. The friend is acting as if the world pauses for her wedding. It’s really sad that they would put friendships below wedding aesthetics. It’s really shallow, and while it won’t feel like it now OP is better off putting distance in this relationship.