It took the second week of kindy to break my daughter. She got dressed and ready for school without a problem, but once there she sobbed her little heart out. She didn’t want to go…..and my heart soared!

FINALLY a child of mine that didn’t abandon me without so much as a second thought, the way that her four siblings did in the years before her! It felt so good to be missed, to be needed, to have a child actually cry to stay with me for the first time ever and it was with great joy that she returned home.

Of course, I know how awful this sounds – wanting some sort of reaffirmation that my child misses me. It’s just that at the same time I don’t really understand how all my little ones managed to leave home without any fear.

Where Did This Self-Confidence Come From?

None of them have ever attended childcare or even spent the day with anyone other than me – except for their dad or grandfather (but that’s only ever whilst I’m at a pregnancy appointment, giving birth or once in a blue moon).

I’ve never understood how they all manage to start school, for the first time away from home and just be so filled with excitement and nothing else. Where do they find it and why didn’t I have any at their age?!

Traumatised!

I still remember my first day of school. It was traumatising! I was balling my brains out and my teacher had a death grip on me as my mum slowly slipped away- and this was how badly I reacted to kindergarten even after attending preschool!

It was so very scary to me… even though looking back on it the school structurally looked stunning, the experience itself was truly frightening for some odd reason. That was the reaction which I had prepared myself for from my own children. But I never ever really got it to that degree, even today.

I mean even though my little girl sobbed, she quickly found peace as soon as she knew that she didn’t have to go. I was most certainly not going to force her. She could stay with me until she felt ready again…

And Now…She’s Ready For Kindy

Turns out that “ready” moment was felt by her no sooner than she got home and took her uniform off! As soon as her school gear was packed away she began crying….to go to school!

Oh the tomfoolery! I sighed deeply not just because she was leaving, but because I knew she was testing me. I knew that as soon as her uniform was back on that she more than likely would have second thoughts. But I also knew that the sooner she got back on the horse the better.

Take Two…

Halfway to school and her bottom lip dropped, tears rolled down her face and we turned around and went back home again. As wonderful as being needed seemed, I soon realised it could quickly become exhausting.

Of course, the experience repeated itself when we got home again. But there wasn’t going to be a third venture out to school. I instead gave her time to think about what she really wanted whilst also silently reflecting on the same for myself.

Having a confident child is actually quite a glorious experience. Just because they don’t turn back or hesitate in any way doesn’t necessarily mean that they don’t miss you deep down inside.

My little girl had an extremely wonderful start to kindy. I am grateful for her inner strength and with a bit of luck I don’t transfer any of my nerves onto her tomorrow.

I Am Going To Miss Her

Yes, I am ready for her to start kindergarten. I am going to miss her like crazy because she is perhaps the loudest child I have. But I have been blessed with three others at home, and who knows, they will more than likely make up for or even outdo the noise she creates.

Wishing all parents and their little ones the greatest of success for their upcoming school year, I hope it is filled with happiness and wonderful memories for you all!

Ah and there is the sound of a war in my household that I thought I missed so much… three children fighting over one lunchbox which wouldn’t have even been an issue had my daughter gone to school today… Lesson learned, from now on I will be far more careful about what I wish for hehehe!

How did your kids react during their first few weeks of  kindy? Tears or smiles? Tell us in the comments below.