It sounds very much like he is loving the fact that what he is doing is getting a reaction from you so he is happy to keep going.
I hope that your daughter has managed to stand her ground with her Dad and tell him that if he wants her to eat all thats on her plate then he needs to give her smaller portions.

This is so sad for the daughter. He really don’t understand the damage being done. It’s really not hard to give kids nutritious food, frozen meals if you’re desperate. I hope mum was able to find ways to make healthy decisions fun for Abby, setting her up for a lifetime of good lifestyle choices.

I don’t think you should keep her away from her father by sending her to a camp. That is not fair on her father, remember he also loves his daughter. I think Abby is now at the age where she could start to learn healthy eating habits and make a decision as to what she wants to eat. It may also be a good idea to start to teach her to cook healthy foods so she can cook at her father’s home.

I just feel sorry for the poor girl. Have you talked to her about it?

The poor girl. Surely she has a say in all this and what she eats.

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  • • mom93821 replied
    • 01 Dec 2022 , 5:37 am

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  I agree, children are individuals that need to be respected.

Communication is key, conversations about weight, appearance etc should not be dissected between adults. There needs to be respect for all. Scheduling in an activity when another parent has custody is of course going to cause concerns and possible conflict.

Not that A$$hole but I hope that it is being discussed carefully around your daughter.

That’s such poor parenting on the dad’s behalf – that’s just setting the girl up for a life of body image issues, health issues, potential bullying, and even eating disorders

Sounds to me that you are doing everything you can to help your daughter. She will love you for this later in life, too. The bad habits set down now will last a lifetime, so keep on doing your best while still trying to keep the peace. Maybe your daughter has a BFF that could assist by commenting on her weight gain?

Definitely not an a#$hole. The dad needs to lift his game. Junk food is not healthy all the time and this is obviously becoming a real problem. I actually feel really bad and also worried for the daughters mental health being caught in the middle of this. So many hormones at this age and the extra weight and stress would definitely be making things even harder. It might be wise to continue with the counselling for a while as well.

I would be upset if I was dad, not being able to see my daughter. But I also understand mum is concerned about daughters weight increase. If dad can’t co operate with the food issue, maybe mum has to do what she’s doing. So many health issues associated with being overweight. Not to mention bullying from kids at school. If daughter is on board, dads gotta go with it or change his ways. Simple

I hope they’re discussing her weight in private and not in front of her, as doing so would be so detrimental and could lead to an eating disorder. I don’t think the Mum is TA, the Dad is. He’s not doing right by this poor child. 95kg for a 14 year old is shocking.

The tension between the parents is a big issue here. I would be talking to the young girl herself and the dietician so she can take control herself. A lot of care is needed here so it doesn’t turn into an eating disorder.

You haven’t forced your daughter to go to the camp. It sounds like something she loves to compete in and if she loses that weight (or doesn’t gain any) then it will be proof that it’s his fault. If you were forcing her to go to this camp then that would be another thing entirely

I know it’s concerning about her weight but it also seems to be a bit of pettiness and why can’t you send her to camp on your time not his, show your daughter good choices and explain it to him better after all he is a male, he dosent understand female hormones also your daughter is old enough to make decisions on the food she eats.

This poor girl. She is in a tug-of-war between parents and in all honesty, there may be some mental health issues as a result.

Absolutely not! You are trying to break bad habits that could last through her life. Try to nip it in the bud now before it becomes a worse problem and is harder to fix.

I think mums concerns are reasonable, certainly when she consulted the doctor & nutritionist and they share her concern. But with the daughter being a teenager of 14 yrs old, you do need her motivation and desire to change things too.

Caring about your child’s health doesn’t make you an a-hole. At age 14 being that heavy is a worry.

I’ll go against the grain and say the mum sounds like a control freak. There could be a lot more going on than her ex “overfeeding her”. Let’s think medical reasons including hormonal issues and PCOS, poor mental health and anything along those lines. I’d be really upset if my mum was that nosey about my weight at 14