Dad is over reacting.
Parents of Boys have a huge part to play in changing the way woman are treated in the future.

As long as its done proper way and using proper language that 9yo can understand i don’t see a problem with it

This is a good example of how this can be approached at early age

Is a bit early

I think it’s great to teach the son about consent! At some point in the future his girlfriend may say he doesn’t have to keep asking consent to put his arm around her, but as long as he knows he needs consent that’s the most important thing.

I think this was the perfect way to teach your son about what’s right or wrong when approaching a person. Your husband sounds like he has an issue with being called a predator when he was young.

I think you picked a perfect opportunity to bring a discussion on consent into play. Regardless of any history – I have an experience there too – I feel you approached the whole thing brilliantly. If we are not going to teach our boys about consent early on then they have the greater influence of peer groups and social “norms” as they get older, some of whose choices are not the best thought out actions to take.

It does need to be talked about, in a calm way which she did

No it’s not too early to have a conversation, provided it is done carefully and age appropriately.

It needs to be age appropriate, and it does need to be talked about.

Recently my six year old had to apologise to his baby sister. He did so by giving her two kisses, on the chest (she wasn’t wearing a shirt). She had her back to me so I couldn’t tell where he kissed her just that it was on her chest somewhere. I reminded him that at school he is learning about private areas and got him to tell me where they are. He did so. I told him he is never to kiss her, or anyone else there as it’s a private area. He is six and has no clue about these things. It was entirely innocent, him just trying to say sorry but unable to kiss her head as she was thrashing it about. It’s never too early to remind kids about private areas and consent. For the record, my husband also said I made him out to be like a predator. I may have over reacted in the moment and told him to back off and never do it again, but then I calmed down and had the discussion.
When he was around 2 he would sometimes touch my chest out of curiosity, and I would feel a little violated, which is probably why I over reacted in the first instinct, and as a parent it’s our job to 1. Protect our children and 2. Teach them the boundaries. So good on her I say!

I’m trying to get my 4 year old to understand if someone says to stop doing something or that they don’t want to do something then he has to respect their wishes. While in my case it doesn’t apply to anything of a romantic/sexual nature the concept is still the same. No is no. We had one of his friends have a huge meltdown because she didn’t want anyone looking at her and he kept looking at her. In my opinion kids are never too young to be taught boundaries in all situations.

Well done for talking to your son about this topic. Your husband probably just feels like he doesn’t know how to approach the topic himself.

This is needed conversation all be it a hard one to gauge at what age to have.
I thank the mum for taking the initiative to speak to her son.
She’s the mum, and would have k he was mature enough to understand or not

Good on you Mum. I think this was a fantastic teaching moment. Kids learn and role-model their behaviour, so hoping he learns from his Mum and not his Dad!

Consent is important to teach and should be taught from a young age.

I think that was maybe a bit over the top. I think it spoils the idea of romance and spontaneity if the guy has to stop and ask before he kisses her. What if you can both feel the electricity and it feels right and no words are spoken? Obviously a girl should never feel pressured but I think there’s ways she can make it known she’s not interested.

Never too early to teach consent. She did the right thing. Hubby needs to get over himself.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 11 Feb 2022 , 8:39 am

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  When we were young we never got this talk, not at school and not at home. But times have changed and nowadays this is essential.

You can’t teach them early enough !
My 8yr old has Down Syndrome and very affectionate, we have started to teach her to keep distance and say no touch no hugs but a wave or high five to strangers.

The dad needs to lighten up and not take everything so seriously. He perceived it as a ‘telling off’ of his son and got heavy, accusing the mother of making him to be a predator, implying she should have let it go. The husband needs to ‘chill’. In many ways it’s no different to telling the kid to pick up after themselves, or flush the toilet. It is a message they do need to hear, probably time and time again. No doubt the kid’s behaviour wont change after one incident. Also I wonder if the boy has ever been on the other side of an unwanted ‘arm hug’ perhaps in sport, or the playground, or even at home with mum and dad. Should be careful to be consistent having raised this with him!