I’d flip too. Way out of line.

I could not imagine how angry the mother is. The grandmother had absolutely no right to cut the littl boys hair. It has broken trust. I’d be furious with my mother never mind my mother in law. I expect that it’s because the grandmother doesn’t like the current style but that is no excuse. I’d be not leavin my child unsupervised with that person again.

Mother in law majorly crossed a line and had every intention to do so. She doesn’t respect you or your decisions and she never will.
Tell her what she needs to hear, tell her if she has a problem with how YOUR child looks then you can resolve that by not allowing her to care for your child unsupervised any longer.
Also, I’m so sick and tired of hearing about these “men” who are too scared to stand up to their mothers.

I would be mad as hell as well if that had happened to me after telling your MIL not to do so. I also am not sure how to react at her saying speak to me direct about it, when you had definitely told your MIL not to cut the child’s hair. How would speaking to her make any difference when it is clear she wouldn’t listen to you in the first place. What I would be doing is making sure my child didn’t ever have to stay over at her house ever again – in fact he would only visit while I was with him!

I would be furious. If you are told not to do something to another persons child – you do not do it. I would also take it as an indication that she could not be trusted with more significant issues, so I’d be very very wary of ever leaving her alone wiht my child again.

Clearly the mother in law has no respect for her wishes and her decisions as a parent. I am in a similar relationship with mine. It is extremely difficult when you want to be a decent person and not exclude contact. The mother in law should not have touched the hair when she was specifically told not to do it. It’s not something that is okay to do, it’s extremely personal. Also, the father/husband should not be taking his mother’s side when he already agreed with his wife that they liked the current hairstyle. The MIL obviously is allowed to do whatever she likes with no consequences and she will keep doing so if nothing is said.

My Stepmother cut my sons beautiful hair and cut his fringe l was absolutely pissed off it was the first and last time she ever did it because l blew my stack at my father he said it was okay and l said it was unthinkable and not allowed by me and should’ve asked first which of course they didn’t so when he got home l shaved his head and banned him from going back for twelve months as punishment.

So your kid is the only one at school this year with no nits

I would be furious about it, especially since she was told multiple times not to touch his hair. I would get over it pretty quickly as hair grows back and he can have the hairstyle she wants him to have once again. I do think she should discuss this with her MIL.

Definitely wrong if you’ve clearly told her not to. Her message to you in the first half was great – second half was rude

oh boy…. so many wrogns here.
Your MIL should NEVER do anything like this. She has no right. She had her children but she is not to make these decissions regarding her grandchildren.

Its really shocking that your husband is not backing you. Sadly this is a really bad sighn and tells you that there will most likely be on going issues in your marriage when it comes to his Mother. He should be backing you. Its sad you didnt get to discover this before you got married. Good luck

I don’t think this is right. I think the mother in law should have checked first as this child is not hers. I would rightly be mad and upset too if I was in this mother’s shoes. I don’t think it is acceptable that this happened. Perhaps a little more communication between the family is needed

I would be so mad as well so I know how you feel. They shouldve gotten permission first

I can imagine how you feel. My ex husbands new girlfriend cut all my year old daughters hair off when she was on a visit there. It breaks your heart and I swear I still think about it all the time 12 year later. Your husband is wrong that it’s not a big deal and I think the MIL actually hates you if she did something g like that.

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  • • mom486197 replied
    • 15 Oct 2024 , 8:04 am

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  Omg this is terrible. You hear so many stories of people thinking it is ok to do this. It is unacceptable of anyone to do this without the parents consent. I would never in a million years consider doing this to any child except my own. People need to learn boundaries.

Acting like an adult means respecting an adult that has been clear in their instructions to not cut a child’s hair. I would be livid and all trust has been snatched away. I would call out the hypocrisy of the comment and the actions and lay out the repercussions of such an action. Partners need to be united and not divided and back each other.

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  • • Ellen replied
    • 13 Oct 2024 , 8:51 am

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  Yes that text alone of the MIL shows how she triangulates ! “She also texted me this: ‘Karlie if you have a problem with me or my actions you need to talk to me. Do not put Mick in the middle. You are an adult so please act like one when it comes to these matters.’” Rather sick if you ask me. Husband and wife should be on one line indeed

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    • • mom93821 replied
      • 15 Oct 2024 , 5:40 am

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    It is so important to have the unwavering support of a partner and they should back you up in these situations. It is a double wound to have the incident occur and to then not have the support of the partner. I would be furious and very serious conversations would be had and a united strategy implemented going forward.

I can imagine this angers you ! She went behind your back after you had discussed the issue with her and it seems that history is repeating itself (since she did the same with another grand child). She totally crossed the bounderies indeed. It’s sad and disappointing is taking his mum’s side.

‘act like an adult’, coming from the person who went behind a mother’s back out of selfishness. I feel bad for this mum, she has two problems. A MIL problem, and more importantly a husband problem. She should feel a united front when it comes to sticking up for the kids choices and wants. If I were her, I would have learnt from the nephew situation and only given supervised visits the moment hair was brought up. MIL already made it clear she doesn’t give a rip about parental authority or child autonomy. I’d be furious.